I have been engaged for 5 years. Problem is, all I can think about is my ex. We had a short relationship, then broke off and became close friends for a year and a half. We were still very physical at times, though. Eventually, she disappeared into the ether with one of my best friends, and moved on. I had no choice but to do the same. Unfortunately, I'm having trouble doing that, cos I can't get her out of my head. Even after 5 years, I'm still broken up about it. My fiancee knows nothing of this, because I don't want to break her heart. As for my ex, I haven't got a clue where or how she is, and I don't know anyone who would possibly know. Help...
2007-03-14 04:16:43 · 9 answers · asked by ? 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh dear, you need to find some closure here. I don't think your ex needs to know anything about this as like you say it would break her heart.
Do you love your fiancee?? Maybe you are having cold feet, do you have a date for the wedding?
It sounds like you never really ended it properly with your ex, after you broke up you say you were still very physical at times. I think it would be best to accept that she is probably married now and has her own life, as do you.
You have to get over this as it may end up affecting your relationship with your fiancee, take a good look at your relationship, are you really happy? If so forget the ex and concentrate on making your woman happy.
Why not get away together for a weekend and have a really romantic time, rekindle the the romance that we all lose in our relationships after so many years.
Good luck, I hope it all works out for the best.
2007-03-14 04:26:12 · answer #1 · answered by Nickynackynoo 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously, after 5 years she's moved on if she hasn't done anything to look you up, now you need to do the same. But don't marry someone you don't love. You need to find another love and that will take your mind off the ex. If the woman you are with now isn't it, you need to break it off and continue to look. If she is and you just won't open up to it, you need to start working on that. Create memories with the woman you are engaged to that you can think of instead of thinking of the ex. Go on vacations, visit museums, take picnics, whatever you guys like. Go for walks together and just talk. And everything you start to think of the ex, bring forth a memory of something with your fiance. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-14 04:22:57 · answer #2 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be kind to your woman now and break it off!
You are not over your ex yet. After so much time apart you are probably idolising her and recall her with no faults. That is not healthy. If she ran away with one of your friends, she is a b*tch and not worth bothering about.
Take some time out to think about things at least!
I just hope your fiancee doesn't have her heart broken.
2007-03-14 04:23:40 · answer #3 · answered by Sandie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make peace with your ex and the feelings you have for her. Or, someday it will come up again and probably during mid-life. Your fiance deserves to be loved by someone who is dedicated to her for life. If you have question about that then you need to figure this out before you get married.
I had a similar situation. After about 20 years of marriage an old flame found me on classmates.com. She wrote me a message and stirred up old feelings. Through the exchange of emails we closed the circle. We confirmed our friendship yet I let her know that I am devoted to my wife. There will always be that curiosity how things would have turned out but it was good for me to have closure to feelings I didn't deal with when I was younger. Do yourself a favor and get closure now. If you meet her again than stay far far away from sex. You are with someone now and you need to be committed to the one you are with. After you've decided what you want to do with your life then make a commitment to the ex, your fiance, or decide to stay single.
2007-03-14 04:20:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is gone my dear,learn to live in the present.
2007-03-14 04:21:51 · answer #5 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should really consider coulseling. AND..... you need to tell your fiance of FIVE YEARS. She needs to know. Maybe she can help you get past it.
2007-03-14 04:22:13 · answer #6 · answered by curious 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Mikey
2007-03-14 04:21:48 · answer #7 · answered by natasha * 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't be with the one you love....love the one you're with.
2007-03-14 04:19:33 · answer #8 · answered by mikey 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
MOVE ON! GOOD GRIEF
2007-03-14 04:22:06 · answer #9 · answered by Keli 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋