Should I tell him that he's never made me orgasm?

Question

So my boyfriend and I have been together over 2 years. I've kept something from him though. He's never made me orgasm... ever. I try everything to get there. I can do it fine on my own but I'm not sure what it is about him being there that doens't allow me to come. lol I know this is a wierd question but should I tell him or not? The sex is great we do everything together and I love him so much... but he thinks that I come everytime we do it and thensome. Will telling him just bring unnececssary drama into our relationship? Should I just keep it to myself and keep faking it? Because I've been faking it alot lately :(

Thanks for you help!

Well duh I know faking it is dumb... but I didn't think it would last this long. I had a baby inbetween this time so I thought it was something I could work on myself. Well thanks for your answers everyone!

Answer 1

honestly you do not need to fake it. If you are not achieving orgasm it is you fault for not telling what he needs to do to help you achieve the big O. The next time you are intimate with him give him some guidance. IE say "Honey it makes me so hot wehn you do (insert what gets you off) to me. Start with that.

Answer 2

Faking it is one of the dumbest things a woman can do. If you fake, the guy has no clue there is a problem because you are making him think he's doing just fine.

You need to talk to him about this and find ways to make it better for you. You are obviously capable. You need to try some new things that turn you on in your mind to make this happen.

Most guys don't understand how a woman's orgasm works and can't tell if you are faking. I have always believed in 'ladies first'. I took the time to understand what happens to a woman's body during orgasm and i just keep pleasuring her if it seems fake, till I know it was real. This has always been good policy, as a woman is generally more zealous in pleasing the man if she's already had orgasm(s).

You can try some new things and try talking to him about what really turns him on. Also, a good way is to let him watch you make yourself do it. It's a turn on for most guys, and he can see what makes it happen for you. Also he may pick up on what a real female orgasm does to your body and want to help you achieve it.

Good luck :-)

Answer 3

Don't tell him. It would really hurt his ego. When a man and a girl are in love and they're making love, no orgasm is no problem. It sounds like you''re really having a lot of fun in bed and you probably also connect with him emotionally during sex, which is even more important. So don't worry about it. Sex is just one part of the relationship where the man tends to have more fun than the girl. She tends to enjoy cuddling and nonsexual touching more than he does.

Answer 4

Hi; This is Cindy. I think that you should tell him, because I'm a woman who can't have any and now I'm married to a lovely man who thought that that was fine. All women are not the same and alot of women does get it without the partner better. But just think about it I've never had one with or without a man, so don't feel bad about that. He will not look at you different believe me. If he loves you he will tell you that at first hand when you tell him your problem. I wish you the best of luck. And remember this when your having sex, don't try to rush the feeling. Let it come natural on it's on. Try looking at something that makes you feel good when your having sex. Or listen to the sound of your body fluids mixing together when the penis is going in and out of your vagina. The sound will make you hotter and I bet you'll come. Tell me what happens. Your friend Cindy.

Answer 5

Loosen up a bit. Unless he's a thirty-second guy, the reasons you don't orgasm narrow down to a few... one of them is that you tense up for some reason (concern about pregnancy, perhaps?). Another could be that he is "designed" in such a way that he doesn't hit your sweet spot (not deformed, but curved in one direction or another?).

Can you orgasm if he does oral on you, or uses his fingers? If not, and you can on your own, that sounds like a mental thing. If you can, and you mean you've never orgasmed just during intercourse, that could be a "hardware" issue. Try different positions in that case.

You will have to tell him eventually. You can't keep saying "You're the man" again and again. I'd certainly want my wife to tell me!

Answer 6

is it that he just isn't hitting the right places??? or doesn't do the things that you need him to do i.e. haveing a meal at the "y" to provide decent clitoral stimulation?? If that is the case then you need to talk to him.. direct him... take his hand in yours and show him where to go..

If you just can't because you feel uncomfortable or nervous then that is something that you need to get over.. relax .. forget about an orgasm... striving too hard to achieve orgasm is a sure fire way of never getting there.

The problem with telling him now that you've been faking for over two years.. You've LIED to him for over two years.. See how terrible that sounds when you put it into actual words. He may wonder what else you've been lieing to him about for two years. And while there may not be anything, there will be something if you catch my meaning.

Answer 7

Start with an apology and don't give an excuse with your apology like "I didn't want to hurt your feelings." Just apologize about not being honest from the get go.

Then, think about what it is you do when you masturbate and explain to him which "spot" needs to be focused on and which position would allow him to hit that spot enough to allow an orgasm.

It's not your boyfriend's fault you haven't orgasmed - it's yours because you weren't honest from the beginning. Maybe next time (if you move on to someone else) you will be honest and not worry so much about making him look good in order to keep him. That's why you lied. You thought honesty would drive him away as he would feel dejected/rejected. Quit thinking for others - tell the truth in a kind way and let others respond as they see fit. You didn't do him any favors by lying.

Good luck.

Answer 8

I wouldn't tell him that EVERY time you have sex, you don't orgasm. Perhaps the next time it happens, talk about it with him.. say things like "I think WE need to try this..... or maybe you can start off things with yourself then have him do it... sometimes showing him what you like is better than telling him about it. I'd say never accuse him like "You dont make me come" that's not good. I'd say "We should try something different to make us both go crazy"..... you know what i mean? I deffinately think if you tell him that everytime you have sex you didn't orgasm that would crush him and his male ego! But you shouldn't have to continue the sex without the pleasure! Find a happy medium and new things to do in the sack and hopefully that'll work!

Good Luck!

Answer 9

If you love him and want to stay with him do not tell him. This would be a major blow to him. Why don't you try different things. You obviously know what it takes to get you off, so start talking during sex - ask him for things. He will probably find this very erotic and be more into it. Then again maybe he is not the one, and you just are not feeling it with him. Ask yourself that question. Have you been able to get off with other men? What is different with this one? You have to fix this problem if you want to be happy in this relationship. Maybe bring toys in?....

Answer 10

Wow this is a hard one. The honest truth is you should of be honest with him since the beggining. I am sure he would of worked out something but you waited too long. I think that if you tell him now is going to really hurt his feelings and well it would be a big drama and everytime you would have sex all he is going to think about is you not having one.