Should she be disciplined?

Question

I babysit my 21 mo old grand daughter daily. They live with us. She is great and we have fun during the day. Once mom gets home my grand daughter gets really ugly. Acts like I shouldn't look at her, walk into the room, etc. I do not interfere with things once mom gets home, but I am getting tired of this behavior. Ignore it or expect mom to address this? It's not about my feelings being hurt, it's about this child possibly becoming a little witch. What do you think?

Answer 1

It is definetly your daughters job to addresss this behavior. If she is desrespectful to you, she will do the same to your daughter if they ever live on their own. Plus she will be spending quality time in the principles office in the years to come. YOur granddaughter behaves that way, because she is allowed to.

Answer 2

sounds to me like the child has a little resentment that you watch her while mom is at work. She may be wanting more of moms attention, but by acting ugly towards you isnt the way she should get it. I would agree with you that her mother should address it ASAP, because the longer it's let go on the longer it will take to break it. And if for some reason the mom wont address the issue, the you could say somthing to the child. Hope I helped ~Tammy (mother of 2 & 4 yr olds)

Answer 3

You can try to have mom address it by telling her that it hurts grandma's feelings when she acts that way. Other than that, she'll grow out of it. A lot of children who are not with their parents during the day act out when mom or dad get home for several possible reasons:

* they miss them during the day
* something early in the day frustrated them or upset them (which you may or may not know) and they act it out to mom
* they want to show mom that she is so important

I'd say let it go or talk to mom and tell her it hurts your feelings. If the baby isn't taught now that it's hurtful and impolite, she'll continue, but if you say something to her (a couple times probably), and then disregard it and give her a little space with Mom when she gets home, it should improve. Sorry to hear you're going through this. Good luck!

Answer 4

She's found out she can get away with things once Mom gets home. Your daughter need to address this now. She becomes primary authority of her daughter once she arrives. Children always push the limit. Be sure she does correcting when the bad behavior is being acted out.

Answer 5

You represent only fun for your granddaughter and mom must deal with all aspects of child raising everyday including discipline. Talk to your daughter about her expectations of your baby sitting duties. It sounds as though you are too easy with your grand daughter. A part of love includes necessary discipline. Get on the same page as your daughter.

Answer 6

I actually have somewhat the same situation with my daughter and she's actually 4!! She's home all day with me, her own mother...when her 6 year old brother gets home from school, with my 12 year old neice, she turns to being snotty, grumpy, mouthy, among other things. Yes, my little "spawn" of satan. The one who is a perfect angel for me all day.

So, discipline? I have not a clue. Perhaps she's just way tired by the time mom gets home or just misses her so much that your "chopped liver" when moms there.

Answer 7

My bf has a 3 year old and just recently he has been telling people that he doesn't like them and other strange new behaviors. He also seems to single out his grandmother (my bf mother's). I am not sure why, he is watched by his grandparents almost everyday. When he says or does mean things, my bf will correct him. However the grandmother will just ignore him, if things are said. It upsets me to see him behave this way and I try to intervene and tell him he hurts people's feelings and its not nice.

I think something should be said to the mother if she isn't doing anything about her behavior. Its got to start somewhere. Good luck!

Answer 8

I'm wth Barbara's posting above.... Whenever my daughter is with grandma (and without me) she is a sweet angel to her. When I get home, she gives grandma the total snub. It's totally normal. When I am not around, she just chooses someone to be her "mom" and treats them accordingly. It's a heirarchy as well- if I am not around, dad's next in line. If he is not around, it's grandma, and so on. I just give her space and tell my mom (who is thoroughly insulted when this happens) that she should give her space too. I just intervene if she is rude to grandma or anybody. If she just ignores grandma, that's no big deal. She is too young and too emotional once mom comes home. She will not become a witch. Just let it go. Talk to your daughter about it so she knows how you feel and be a team when it comes to her treating you rudely. She can focus on mom when she gets home but she is not allowed to be rude or mean to you! Hope this helps. I sat down with my mom and explained my intentions to her and she doesn't get insulted anymore...

Answer 9

I used to watch my nephew on a daily basis and he was perfect as pie until his mom came to pick him up. I figured it out, he saw a consistancy with me. He knew if he was out of line, there was a consequence. With his mom, she ignored a lot because she had had a terrible day at work or so. Your daughter should be addressed because your granddaughter could be acting out to her mother which will lead to her not respecting her mother. Unfortunately, your daughter needs help in organizing her priorities.

Answer 10

Yes she should be disciplined for her actions but I am not sure how because she is so young. She needs to learn manners and politeness at a young age. Maybe try time outs, or having mom talk to her about the issue. Im sorry this is happening to you, I know you said it isnt about your feelings but mine would be a little hurt. I hope everything works out.