how do you deal with parents-in-law that always have something to say on how you should run your family?

Question

without sounding being disrespectful??

Answer 1

sorry but there is no right or wrong way to let them know how you feel but just to be truthful and go from there .. the in-laws can not run your life if you don't let them .. if your own mother and father said something to you that made you mad would you know tell them ? if your husband ? and what about the kids ? I think you would tell them just how you feel about it and that's what you should do with the in-laws as well .. best of luck to you ..

Answer 2

You don't take it personal because they forget that in their generation things were a lot different. You smile and deal with it however continue to run your family the way you've been. You can also ask your husband since it's his family does it bother him that they always have something to say about how the two of your are running your family. After all they're not just singling you out they're including him in this too. However you could always turn the tables on them and everything little thing that happens call them and get their opinion until they get annoyed and tell you to stop calling. However I just wouldn't take it personal. They can say what they want but bottom line it's your family and you have every right to run it the way that you want.

Answer 3

Tell them you appreciate the advice but you are your own person and need to do things your way. Tell them they did a great job raising their family(even if it's not true) and now it's your turn. If they keep pushing simply ask them if someone was always telling them how things should be done when they first started their family and ask them how it made them feel. They'll probably say they wished they had someone to tell them how to do things:> You may just have to put your foot down and interrupt them next time and say "you're doing it again".
It takes backbone to say things that may seem rude at first. As long as you treat them with the same respect they give you, they have nothing to complain about.
Good luck!

Answer 4

What a tough spot. I'm sure your inlaws just want to give you the benefit of the wisdom gained with age. I agree with other suggestions that you smile and say thank you or some such thing and just do what you think best.
If you say something to them it may cause hard feelings that will be far worse than constant advice. Besides, they may actually have some good advice. Take the good and toss out the rest.

Answer 5

Tell them that you appreciate there input but that you would like to make a go at being a parent on your own. Also let them know that everyone parents there children differently and that you have made your choices on how you feel that kids should be raised. If that does'nt work, when they start giving you advice just smile and say point taken and leave it at that.

Answer 6

First of all it is the persons responsiblity to talk to their own family (if it's the husband's family, he should speak to them about the issues, if it's the wife's family she should speak to her family about the issues). But first both people have to have spoken and be very clear about what the issue is, that way when they speak with their family they are clear. What they need to say is, "I know you mean well, when you give us suggestions about raising our kids, buying something (whatever) but we would like to make our own decisions and if necessary our own mistakes. We are responsible, mature married adults now. It makes us feel as if you question our every decision when you do this. Thanks for understanding." Good luck and God Bless.

Answer 7

if you have a family, you are an adult and have the right to say whatever you please to get the point across.

your in laws are obviously control freaks, with nothing else to do except pass out advice.

let them know you will ask for advice when you want some, and it's none of their business how you run your home.

best to get it out into the open.

Answer 8

OH MY GOD! I am dealing with this same thing. I finally told my husband either you tell them in your way or I will and they wont like me very much afterward. My husband finally told them, unless we ask for advise or need advise that is sought stop stepping on our toes and let us live our lives as we please, everyone has to learn from their mistakes and we are. I told him I was going to say either you stay out of my business or I am going to get all up in yours. My husband didn't want that so he spoke up. I have the worse in laws, she spot checks my house when she comes over to see if it is clean I finally yelled out one day when i had enough "if you don't like the way my house looks then don't come over" they left. lol

Answer 9

sounds like we have the same in-laws. i feel for you.
in a very nice, calm, respectful tone of voice tell them that you respect them, their opinions and love your spouse and if you need their advise you will call them first ( that can be a lie). let them know that it is very important that you and your spouse be able to make your own way in your life together.
try to stay calm and nice.
good luck.
and dont be suprised if you have to tell them more than once.

Answer 10

I'm sorry, but this is how my family ran things when I was growing up, and this is the way I learned it. I think I turned out just fine, unless you have any complaints.