My girlfriend doesnt like it that my frind DJ Has a huge crush on me. HE asks me out constantly. Kim is getting really mad but the thing is DJ doensnt know that I have a girlfriend And Im afraid that if I tell him he wont want to be my friend anymore what can I do ??? Do I keep it a secret from him or do I tell him the truth He doesnt go to my school so there is no way that he could find out that I am Dating a girl. I just dont know what to do!!!!
2007-03-14 03:25:38 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
maybe u should have someone else tell him. like a close friend and he could believe them. it could be on of ur friends too.
2007-03-14 03:30:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
( A ) . . .If you were dating another guy and some other guy ( * * ) approached you wanting to date you also . . . how would you handle it then ?
( B ) . . .Seems to me that with the girl ( ^ ^ ) your dating and the guy ( * * ) that's pursuing you . . . with this situation it should be thought of and handled no different then from ( A ) scenerio noted above .
Would'nt (^ ^ ) person (no matter if girl or guy) get a bit jeleous and concerned if another entered the scene and showed interest to you? Be thoughtful of that.
And if another person enters the scene after you are already dating another how do you handle that in general?
I'm 50 and straight...not bi or gay. Yet, to me relationships are relationships...no matter color, culture or gender. I was born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area and grew up seeing the 'awakening' of blacks and whites coming out in the open and dating each other. I also saw the environment of gays coming 'out of the closet'. From my observation . . . individuals are individuals and the path has been laid by others before you so that two people can relate openly and without shame. Yes, there is still a bit of that social acceptance going on still...yet...it is fine to come out in the open.
If another does not like what you are doing, i.e. the ( * * ) guy, than that is his choice to remain friends with you or not.
It's time . . . Don't hide from your own self (let alone another) and be true to yourself. Not always an easy thing to do...yet hiding is not comfortable or easy either.
Good luck to you.
.
2007-03-14 03:50:07 · answer #2 · answered by onelight 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course your girlfriend does not like that your friend has a crush on you. She is human and insecure. Reassure her that you are with her, you are appy with her, you would not give her up for this guy and you are a lesbian so why is she worried in the first place.
As for this guy DJ, if he really is your guy friend then why haven't you shared your secret with him yet. If you are worried about him leaving then your friendship isn't that great.
Tell him gently that you appretiate his attraction to you, that you are flattered, that he is a wonderful guy but that right now you do have someone in your life that you are very happy with and that you do not foresee you ending your relationship anytime soon with this person.
Remind him that he is important to you and you really value his friendship so you wouldn't want to have to stop talking to him because he is trying to put stress on you to go out with him when you already have someone.
First off, as a friend he shouldn't be putting stress on you and understand that no means no but after you tell him that you are involved with someone he should just be thankful that you want to be friends with him and that he can spend time with you at all.
IF he gets pissy and stops talking to you then he wasn't the good friend you thought; if he gets aggressive and still hits on you after you tell him you are involved when he isn't very smart because he is asking you to break one relationshit to enter into one with him, which suggesting that you might do the same with him.
Considrer this a wonderful way to know for sure what kind of guy/friend he is. IF he sticks around then you know he is a good friend and really cares. Then maybe later you can tell him how you are actually involved with a woman when you are ready to tell him. Maybe someday he and your girlfriend could meet so that she isn't jealou of him... maybe someday you could all have a threesome. Who knows?
Just remember that people are sensitive and insecure. Treat your friend and girlfriend gently while telling the truth and pumping-up their ego should do the trick. TIme will tell, time heals all wounds, time won't give me time but time makes lovers fell like they got something real... wait, that's a boy-george song.
2007-03-14 03:40:50 · answer #3 · answered by Don Quesadia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should tell him the truth,this is supposed to be your friend you should be able to tell your friends anything if they are truly your friend they will be o.k. with whatever you choose for your personal preferences.If you do not tell him and he happens to hear from someone else he will probably be upset with you for not telling him yourself.you say you don't want to lose him as a friend,if he is a good friend he will understand.
2007-03-14 03:33:02 · answer #4 · answered by unicorn1012@verizon.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u need to tell him so that he leaves u alone that way u wont have any problems with ur gf and if he really is ur friend then he will understand and still be ur friend. if he runs aways then he wasnt truly a friend and then u will not have lost anything.
2007-03-14 03:39:06 · answer #5 · answered by Blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth and whatever happens, happens. If he's truly your friend he'll understand and accept your other relationship. If he decides not to be your friend anymore, then he wasn't truly your friend to begin with.
2007-03-14 03:29:59 · answer #6 · answered by Tad 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is a friend he will understand that you have a girlfriend.if he is a silly person that might not understand just keep telling him you don't want to go out.
2007-03-14 03:30:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth that you and him like the same thing and it happens to be women
2007-03-14 03:29:07 · answer #8 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you tell him he will probably want to get in on the action even more. Go for it.
2007-03-14 03:45:19 · answer #9 · answered by El Diablo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you are already seeing someone and leave it at that. You dont need to go into specifics.
2007-03-14 03:29:33 · answer #10 · answered by halloweenbride97 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋