Is it called cheating if u have a bf but talking to another guy and saying I love u to him?

Question

See i have been with my bf for almost 4 and a half years now well he cheated on me and since then the relationship hasn't been good at all i lost alot of trust and respect for him. Well about a year ago i meet this other guy and have been talking to him and now we tell each other that we love each other and I have started to have feelings for this other guy and i really like him the thing is that my bf doesn't want us to break up but i want to be with this other guy and so since he want leave me alone i have been seeing both of them. But not sexually though. Do u think its cheating even thought i'm not having sex with the other guy? Every one else tells me it is but i don't see it that way since we aren't having sex yet.

Answer 1

You want to be with someone else but your current boyfriend won’t leave you alone. Let me talk to you about that for just one second. He would leave you alone if you told him to get lost and never call you again. If he makes an issue of it just remind him that he cheated on you and that you no longer love nor trust him for just that reason alone. You can also tell him that if he doesn’t back off then you will be forced to change all contact numbers just to get away from him. If he becomes violent remind him that every state has troopers and every city or town has a police department.

Now as far as is it cheating, it’s not exactly cheating but you’re not being fair to the other person by holding on to your dead relationship. What’s happening is your old cheating boyfriend isn’t letting go because he has some clue that you’re trying to move on and be happy. He doesn’t want to see that happen. If he sticks around long enough the new person will get fed up and walk away so you will have to cling back on to him. Do you not feel you deserve better? You need to make yourself happy and never mind about what your cheating boyfriend is willing or not willing to do. He has not say so over your life and who’s to be in it but you do and you need to tell him that he’s not longer in it and move on. Don’t let your new guy, your happiness and better relationship slip through your fingers because you refuse to put your foot down and get rid of the cheat. I wish you luck.

Answer 2

If you are having any type of relationship with this other man its cheating. An emotional attachment is harder to overcome than a purely physical one. I say if you don't trust your bf and you love someone else then you need to break it off with the bf. Change your # and move if you have to, if he stalks you get a restraining order. You should not have to suffer in a relationship with someone who cheated on you just because HE doesn't want to break up. It sounds to me by the way you say "he wont leave me alone" that he has some control issues. BTW sex is not what constitues cheating!

Answer 3

If you have told your boyfriend you want to break up and he won't leave you alone, you no longer have a boyfriend; you have a stalker, and pursuing a new relationship is not "cheating" on your stalker. If you have had a conversation with your boyfriend about "maybe" breaking up and he didn't like the idea, or you were in any way VAGUE about your intentions, then I would say you have crossed the line between temptation and guilt. Infidelity is not purely sexual. When you commit yourself to someone, you are offering them more than your body (hopefully), and giving to someone else what you have committed to your boyfriend (affection, support, trust, etc.) is cheating.

Answer 4

See you've put this q on board because u think that it is and want to hide behind the answers that are in your favour. Otherwise, it is the feelings that matter more than the sex itself.

Had you just been having sex with that other guy and not feeling any emotions for him, I'd have asked you the reason for such sex sessions and not the issue we are talking about now.

I am sorry, my vote goes against your mind and in favour of your conscience, which made you post the q.

Answer 5

Love is not sex, being w/ someone that you love has a special meaning, wether or not you are actually having sex w/ this other gut doesn't matte, your still breaking ur bf's heart!
My opinion- you should have broke it off when he cheated on you, but you didn't, so now is the time to break it off, since you''ve found someone better

Answer 6

In this case, it's still cheating. It sounds like it's time for you to break it off with this other person and move on; especially if you're seeing someone else. Two cheaters don't make it right, you know? If you can't trust the other person and rightfully so and it doesn't sound like you're interested in him anymore, then do the right thing and break it off =)

Answer 7

no i would'nt call that cheating but you defo need to dump the boyfriend you have had for four years ive always said once a cheat always a cheat go with the other lad you can't carry on with the relationship that you have got if there is no trust or respect you deserve a whole lot better

Answer 8

if the bf was doing what your doing would u feel cheated on? i think you would. so yes it is cheating. break it of with the bf (he cheated once already so he likely will again) stop the " I love you"s and take your time with the new guy.

Answer 9

Uh, yeah!! If you truly love this other guy and you're seeing him behind your boyfriend's back then definitely there's something wrong there. You clearly need to break it off with your boyfriend, and show some respect to this other guy if you're exchanging the "L" word. Right now you're not respecting yourself or either of those guys involved.

Answer 10

No, it's not cheating, yet. Honetsly, dump your boyfriend now since it's obvious you want out. The relationship is going well and you don't trust or respect him anymore. If you really wanted to save this relationship, you would spend more time with your boyfriend to try to work things out. If you don't want to do that. Dump him regardless of what he wants. It's about what YOU want.