My son in basic training in Army, his grandma died? Is she immediate family?

Question

She lived with us.

Answer 1

Contact American Red Cross immediately.
Supply them with all his information...They will do the rest.
Good Luck

Answer 2

When I was in the Army grandparents were not usually considered immediate family unless they were a primary care giver. However the Commanding Officer can allow him to go on emergency leave but he may have to restart his basic training. You must go through the Red Cross as others have suggested and have information such as the funeral home address and phone number available, they will need this to confirm the death in the family before they will pass "official notification" through the chain of command. You may also want to say that his grandma raised him if this is the case- this will help expedite the process.

I am so sorry for your family loss and I will be praying for you all.

When I look back on some of the funerals I missed it is hard, but when you are in the middle of a mission you have to stay focused.

Answer 3

I'd call and Red Cross. I really doubt she'll be considered 'immediate family'....'immediate' family is usually defined by one generation - mother/father/sister/brother/children.

I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

Called hubby (active duty army) they did let his mother out of AIT due to her father having had a heart attack and wasn't expected to live. That was in the 80's - so cannot tell you what they'd do now.

Something for you to consider - if he's married - his spouse's family doesn't count as immediate family. Neither to step parents unless they have raised you.

AND he will have to be 'recycled' in basic. That means he'll get out later.

I'm not saying don't try - never would I say that. But what the military considers immediate family - and what family members consider immediate family is way off.

He would have to have compassionate leave cause he's not built up any regular leave time. Otherwise as long as he was stateside - he probably would have had no problems taking off and going to the funeral.

Answer 4

I was the Flag Ship for the Middle East Forces in 78-79 and my grandmother died. Red Cross contacted my ship and the XO wanted to know if I wanted to go home for the funeral. By the time I would have gotten home, it would have been over. I would have been flown from Saudi Arabia to NY for free and then provided my own transportation the rest of the way. I declined. We had spent a week together just before I left for the Middle East because she didn't think she'd live through the winter, She lasted until April.
My condolences on your loss. Have you contacted the Red Cross yet?

Answer 5

Leave is extremely hard to get when you're in Basic. He'll have to be recycled (in other words, he'll have to start completely over at Basic). Unless the family's really torn up about this, and he feels like he needs to get leave, I would suggest that you leave him be at Basic--especially if he's more than halfway through.

Contact the Red Cross. They'll take care of everything. You'll probably need to provide them with his name, rank, and maybe even his social.

I'm sorry for your loss. Best of luck to you.

Answer 6

I'm sorry for your loss...Unfortunately, I don't think the Army considers grandparents as immediate family. Contact your local Red Cross. Have all of his information, information about the viewing and service (including the name of the funeral home etc...), and everything. I don't know if they will grant him leave but it's worth it to at least let him know.

Answer 7

Yes. When my old roommate's boyfriend was in basic, he was granted a 4-day weekend to go to his grandmother's funeral. Have the hospital where she passed away send a Red Cross Message to your son, and they should work it out to send him home, if only for a few days.

Sorry to hear about your loss.

Answer 8

Sure maybe, he can come home, but he is going to lose a whole bunch for leaving to come home. You will need to send a American Red Cross Message to the location that he is at to let him and his chain of command know. They will decided yes or no after talking to your son. First of all, your son, if he was close to his grandma like you are implying, is going to have a very bad reaction. He is very sleep deprived and is under great stress he has probably never felt before. He will freak out more than he may have if he was just home with the family. Next, in order to go to the funeral, if he is allowed, he will need to start boot camp all over again in most cases. Training is 7 days a week in boot camp and anything he missed will need to be made up. He will be set back in training or will have to just stop and start all over again at a later date. Is your son willing to just leave his comfort system that he is currently in with the people that he is currently with. That is probably the most traumatic thing to have happen in boot camp, to be set back in training, because now you are the new guy with the other people who have already bonded with each other. Right now, he may not like everyone he is training with, but at least he can more or less trust them and know pretty much everyone's name. Being set back to another group of people in a few weeks will suck all the way around. He will never get that bond back because he is going to be put into the middle of their world and he will now never fit in. ALSO, your son signed up for a certain MOS, he will lose the seat for the school he is going to and if there isn't another empty seat for that same school during the time he will now need it, he will lose his job also. These are two big things YOU need to explain to your son. It is horrible his grandmother died, but this is his first independent action as an adult man. He is in the Army now and more people may die during his enlistment. He won't always be able to be there for funerals or even Christmas, Thanksgiving or birthdays. His life is now the Army. You and the family are still very important to him, but in a lot of cases, they Army is going to be more important for a lot of things. Think about what you are asking him to leave and give up to come to Grandma's funeral. Ideally, you should wait until he is done with boot camp to tell him at all that she has died. Because if he finds out now, he will be distracted with the mourning of her lose and not on training where his mind should be. Your son NEEDS to learn how to be the best Soilder he can be, it IS a life and death situation given the state of affairs overseas. He should be focused on training and learning not mourning. I saw dozens of people when I was in boot camp just get screwed over by news like this. Nobody did get to go home, but they did become completely distracted from the hurt and lose of their loved one. Lots to think about here, I recommend waiting to tell him after he graduates boot camp. Take pictures or a video so he can share in the funeral and the mourning process he has missed, but think about everything I have mentioned.

Answer 9

Yes your immediate family includes your biological parents and grandparents on both sides. In-laws and step parents are normally not considered immediate family. But than sometimes it depends on the supervisor I have been let off for my husbands grandfather and my supervisor was nice and gave me the days off as if it was an immediate family family member even though she said she should not have.

Answer 10

I think she would be but only because she lived with you. I remember reading something in my husband's paperwork where it stated that parents, siblings and children are but that grandparents, aunts, uncles etc are only if they raised you. I don't know if that's still the case b/c rules are always changing.