Do u know anything about poetry? PLESE come here and rate my poem... thanks!?

Question

I am giving this poem to a special friend, please read it and rate it. & any tips would help. 1=bad... 10=GREAT!
Thanks

That Boy.

That boy who puts a smile on her face.
That boy who hugs her with a warm embrace.
That boy who is going through the same things.
That boy who gives her wings.
That boy who might think he's not alot
But that boy, that's all she's got.

Just to see him give her a smile.
That makes her day worth while.
That boy is a special friend.
She knows he'll be with her till the end.
That boy is an amaizing guy.
That boy is who keeps her alive.

Please read it and rate it. Its to my friend. THANKS FOR THE HELP!

Answer 1

I love it! I makes me want to cry it is so good. A 10.
And don't listen to Svetlana. I know good poetry when I see it.

Answer 2

Its better than a lot of poem I've seen on the internet.

Suggestions: the first line of each stanza is kind of the same. It works, but also kind of repetative.

Maybe try cutting out "That boy" in the first stanza (which is very repetative and ruins the flow for most) "That boy who puts a smile on her face, who hugs her with a warm embrace, ..., who might think he's not a lot but that boy, that's all she's got.

The second stanza is "broken". You've tried a repetative thing, but failed in one line (probably trying to rhyme). But again, flow would probably be better without all the "That boy".

Speaking of the rhyming, in some places it really feels forced, which is not good. Especially amazing guy, keeps her alive - you havent talked about how amazing the guy is (only to her) and you've thrown it in only to rhyme with alive. Friend and end are cliche rhymes (try to stay away from them).

It leaves a lot open, we want to know about the things they are going through (problems at school, family, other?).

Its good, sounds like poems I was writing back when I was in junior high and early high school - however, taking college classes on it, I've learned that my biggest flaws where seen in almost every poem. Its hard, but after you fix the problems, most of the time you like the poem so much more.

Writing, espeically poems, are never "finished". There are always revisions to be made. Its not the sign of a bad poem, but a good poem made great (bad poems are thrown out and forgotten).

Suggestion - try writing what you want your poem to say without rhyming. Poems do not need to rhyme, and sometimes they work better without. If you want to put rhyme back into it, you arent working from nothing, and you have an outline of the important things you want to say.

Good luck, and I am sure your friend will love it

Answer 3

horrible, childish, emotionless, unreadable trash. Where can I go to get back to 2 minutes of my life wasted reading that garbage?

Answer 4

10 its excellent its almost like something from a halmark card i love it dont change it it is perfect