Having second child?

Question

I am 33 yrs old,have a son 8 yrs old i am still stuggling to get settled carrier wise...but with each passing day i feel if my decision of having just one child is right? If i'll have another child the age difference between them will be alot ,I am so confused,people in similar situation or who have kids with this much age difference please give me advice, thanks.

Answer 1

Hello...I have 2 boys ages 11 and 12...I also have a 3rd boy only 6 months old! So, I know what its like to have them close together and far apart, and I will take them far apart any day of the week! Now that I have a lil one again, I feel so much more calm and far less stressed because my other sons are old enough to taks care of themselves with little supervision, and this gives me more time to devote to the child that requires my attention. Also, because my sons are older, they understand this and in fact are quite helpful, and love to play with the baby and help with chores and whatnot. I will admit that there are some times when my older boys need me and I am unable to give them my undevided attention, but the same could be said when the two of them were little. But, I spend my evenings with the older boys (when the baby is sleeping or playing.) and it works out really well, I think.

Answer 2

I have not been in a situation like this myself, as my children are ages 3, 5 and one due anytime time now. However I can tell you that my mother made the decision to have another child when my sister and I were ages 13 and 16. She was also 33 yrs old when she had my little brother ( very young mother when she had me.) She handled everything just fine, and my sister and I and also our stepbrother, who was 7 at the time adjusted great to our little brother. I don't really think 8 years is a big difference. I think your son would feel honored to be a big brother and be able to help mom out with the baby. Good luck with whatever decision you make, I'm sure it will be the right one.

Answer 3

My mother had five girls...I am number four. My sisters are 15, 13, and 10 years older than me, and my younger sister is 18 months younger. She has three kids, the older two are 2 years apart; the youngest is 10 years younger than the oldest. The age difference doesn't matter - in fact, it can be helpful (as long as you don't abuse the blessing by trying to make the older child "parent" the younger one!) It will GREATLY depend on how YOU treat your children. I am very close to my two oldest sisters, so the age difference did not matter. My oldest sister gets a kick out of telling people that she changed my very first diaper, because she worked as a candy striper in the nursery when I was born! ;-)

NEVER look at whether or not you have enough money when you're making a decision about having children. I say this from experience. After our second daughter was born, I had a tubal ligation "for practical reasons" because we were making minimum wage and barely able to scrape by from paycheck to paycheck. I was 22 years old, and it was THE WORST mistake of my life! I would've LOVED to have more children. (Of course, I never had morning sickness with either pregnancy, and I had very fast / easy labors & deliveries. 3 hrs 12 minutes for the first one, 2 hrs 47 minutes for the second. My youngest daughter did even better - her total labor/delivery time was 2 hours 20 minutes!) My husband got a great paying job the following year. Only YOU know where your true priorities lie. If in your heart you truly WANT another child and are able to have one, GO FOR IT! God will provide.

Answer 4

I have a son that is 10 and a daughter that will be 4 soon. I had the same issues when I got pregnant with my 2nd. Would they get along? Would they be close? But it was great my son helped out alot. They may not always get along but they love each other so much. I loved it because I got to have another baby and would change a thing. Some people have 3 kids in 3 car seats and diapers everywhere but I got to enjoy both of my kids 1 at a time.

Answer 5

i have a 3 year old a 1 year old and a 3 month old. i couldnt imagine only having 1 kid. it would be an age difference, but than hed be able to help with the baby too. it is really based on if you ant another child. some are fine with 1 and others need 4 or more lol good luck

Answer 6

I have a 7 year old daughter and would love another child but due to careers for both me and my partner we are deciding to wait around another 5 years before we try.
From family who have been in the same position, waiting till they are much older is easier then when they are 7,8 or 9 because they get extremely jealous.
Dont worry what other people think and do what u think is best.

Answer 7

My children are 20, 11, 6, and 3 ....... odd? lol sure it is - but we are a family and that's all that matters. My oldest two are actually very close despite their 9 year age difference.
You have to do what feels right for you and the rest falls into place from there.

Answer 8

listen i am 16 years old and my lil brother is 10 so the age difference will not be an issue if you want another child the main thing is to keep them equal do not favor the younger over the older and vise versus and if you keep that in mind youll be alright good luck

Answer 9

Don't worry about ages, age differences or the idea of "one child" or "two children". Really look at whether you want a child. If you want another child to love and raise and care for and to be a part of your family, then he or she will be loved and the dynamic of your family will fit to be just right for you.

Answer 10

my 2 eldest are 27 and 23, my youngest is 7, it makes no difference at all having such a big age gap. the two eldest cant do enough for him, by the time your my age you will be glad the oldest takes the youngest off your hands for a couple of hours.