If heaven is so great - why are people generally miserable at funerals?

Question

Shouldn't all the true christians be celebrating like the deceased won the lottery ? It seems so selfish to mourn and mope around - you're only thinking of yourselves. Why not have a celebration of their life and be happy for them ?

Clear some points up for you :
I have lost people close to me - most recently my dearest cousin was killed by a driver on a mobile phone - I miss him immensely, but his funeral was a celebration of his life.
You should read what I wrote above : if heavens what you aspire to why do your kin think it's so bad you have achieved it ? It's selfish

Answer 1

because they just lost someone they loved. They aren't going to see those people anymore

Answer 2

Well I think it is because the people at the funeral are all sad that they will not see or speak to the deceased anymore and it was somebody that they loved very much. The theme of a lot of funerals is not to mourn but to celebrate the persons life and achievements.The sadness does not seem to last very long,apart from perhaps the immediate family, as at the wake or reception following the funeral most people tend to lighten up and chat and laugh.A lot also depends on the circumstances of the death. An elderly person who has been in pain, people will say "He/She had a good innings and it is a blessing they are now at peace" whereas if a younger person dies in perhaps tragic circumstances the sorrow and sadness are much deeper felt.I don't think that religion plays a great part in grieving for most people.

Answer 3

Grief is always selfish as are other emotions! My mum's funeral was a mixture of sadness and joy and we did celebrate her life! It had nothing to do with where she had gone, we all believe differently! It was a release from a hard painful life for her and that is my comfort when I think of her. I don't believe in the Christian view of Heaven and Hell anyway!

People find it hard to show happiness at the time as they are still getting over the shock of losing the loved one! It doesn't mean that they are thinking only of themselves though! They might be thinking that the person will miss life's future events!

Answer 4

If the person who is dead was saved, then we do not mourn for their loss, for they are in Heaven with the Father. We mourn because our own lives are diminished due to their passing.

Some cultures do have a tradition of celebration at funerals, called "wakes." The Jewish also have a tradition called "sitting shiva" (misspelled I'm sure) where you sit down and talk about all the wonderful memories of the deceased.

If the person who is dead was not saved, it really is a time for mourning.

Answer 5

Jeez - so many people don't read these questions and then they write a load of cr@p because it's easier to wigout when their faith is tested than think for themselves - they are too used to having the church think for them.

I mourn because I know there isn't a heaven for the 'saved', I miss people in my family who have died (people close to me) and I'm sure they have gone to a cold grave - that's why I'm miserable. If I really thought they would join everyone who went before in the afterlife I think I would be able to be happy and celebrate. But then I like to use rational thought and logic.

Answer 6

For me I grieve more for the fact I won't see them again for what I perceive as a long time. I know we should celebrate their death because they are now going home to the Heavenly Father, but we are human and we are selfish in that regard. At most of the funerals I have been to that have been for family members we take time to remember all the good times we had with them. We laugh and we cry.

Answer 7

Good point. In Bhagavad gita Krishna say to His friend Arjuna:

The Supreme Personality of Godhead said: While speaking learned words, you are mourning for what is not worthy of grief. Those who are wise lament neither for the living nor for the dead.
PURPORT
The body is born and is destined to be vanquished today or tomorrow; therefore the body is not as important as the soul. One who knows this is actually learned, and for him there is no cause for lamentation, regardless of the condition of the material body.
In the presence of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Arjuna's lamentation for his kinsmen is certainly unbecoming, and therefore Krishna expressed His surprise. Such impurities were never expected from a person belonging to the civilized class of men known as Äryans. The word Äryan is applicable to persons who know the value of life and have a civilization based on spiritual realization. Persons who are led by the material conception of life do not know that the aim of life is realization of the Absolute Truth, Visnu, or Bhagavän, and they are captivated by the external features of the material world, and therefore they do not know what liberation is. Persons who have no knowledge of liberation from material bondage are called non-Äryans.

Answer 8

I have attended many happy funerals.
But that does not stop you mourning for someone you miss.
If a close friend was given a well paid job in Australia, you could be glad for them but still miss them.
I expect celebrations when I have gone...but no funeral!!

Answer 9

a funeral is often called a celebration of the life of the dead person .
people who loved the now dead person are sad because they have feeling they are human and they miss the other person . the idea that for the remainder of there life they will not see or hear from a loved one is very sad.
lack of faith is not the reason the people are sad. i suggest you go to an airport and watch how often you see people cry there. the people are most often not leaving forever but still parting for a time is something that a feeling person often finds sad.

Answer 10

I agree with you whole heartily, and so does the Bible.

1 Thessalonians 4:13 But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.

Now, Christians may sorrow some but with measure and limit. We know that the souls of departed believers are safe, and that their bodies will rise from the grave: wherefore, then, should we weep and lament as the heathen and the unbelieving do?

Answer 11

Heaven (or hell) is a belief. The death of a loved one is a known grief. That which is known will always win out over that which is believed.
There may well be those - personally i believe this - who know the truth of what happens after death to a loved one. for them, the knowledge of that truth overshadows the grief which they also naturally feel and they can be genuinely joyful but for the rest of us, and that is most of us, we do not know.
Faith is not knowledge. We ignore grief or suppress it at our peril.
Hope you're getting through the tragedy ok.