my brothers wedding should i go ?

Question

im pregnant with my 3ed child and have diabities my babys due on april 14 and my brothers wedding is about a month later.i dont get along with his wife to be. as she called me a f ing ***** in my own home most times she visits shes rude and abusive shes horrible i bite my cheek for my brothers sake. i see him about once a year he lives about 300 miles away and never calls and can be very selfish. he wants me and kids to come down overnight but he dosnt understand i carnt afford to because i dont have transport and with a new baby round the corner i carnt see how i could afford the trip. im also worried about my baby to. he wants the kids to be bridesmaid and pageboy so i need to let him know what im doing im realy in a muddle. there also not inviting my other brother who has done nothing to them and dose not deserve to be excluded ive a good mind to say get on with it without me.would i be wrong ?

Answer 1

Your brother should understand if you dont go....

Answer 2

You'll have to split up and go alone on this one. She cannot miss her brother's wedding. No way. You shouldn't miss the wedding of a good friend. She should go to her brother's wedding while you attend your friend's wedding. If anyone asks where your partner is, simply tell the truth. Everyone will understand.

Answer 3

That sounds like a lot of family drama. My advice to you is to ask your doctor if it is medically safe for you to travel (by plane I'm presuming) with an infant. If he/she gives you the OK then the next step is to secure the funds to go and transportation once you get there. Ask your brother to provide the transportation costs for the two children that he wants in the wedding and then you only have to pay for yourself. Also tell him that you're going to need help with the infant once you get there. As for his fiancee...was your brother there when she disrespected you? If so, what did he do? If he did nothing then maybe that is telling you how your brother really feels about you. Do you really want to travel that far with an infant and two young children and spend money that could be used elsewhere for a relative who has no respect for you? You should talk to your brother and tell him about his fiancee and how her bad behavior and his actions (not calling or visiting etc.) make you feel. I'm sorry that such a joyous occasion is marred but I hope you weigh all of the facts and make the decision that is right for you and your children.

Answer 4

I would not go. When you receive the wedding invitation, I would buy a lovely wedding card and enclose a check of how much you can afford with your regrets that you cannot make it to the wedding due to alot of circumstances. Tell him because of the impending birth of your new baby, it would be impossible for you to attend. Tell him also you don't think you would have the strength to travel with the new baby who would only be 1 month old and your other children. Don't mention the fued that you are having with your brother's fiance. You have a very good excuse and he certainly should understand. Best of Luck

Answer 5

Normally, I would say you should defenitely attend, as to not make family relations worse than they arleady are.

But you're going to be less than a month postpartum, and you are having financial difficulties. So I think you would be totally legit in declining due to those reasons. (People not kind to each other is not really a reason to decline. Just because others are not acting like adults doesn't make it right for you to join in on the rudeness.)

Maybe your husband could attend without you, and sort of "represent" your household at the wedding, for the sake of family harmony?

Answer 6

I would send a card, and some flowers with a gift on the day of the wedding so he knows that you are thinking about him. With a new baby I wouldn't go, even if he wants the other kids to be in it. Especially if they are stupid. But the bottom line is if you don't have the money to go, you dont have it and he can't be mad about that.

Answer 7

You are right. You do not have a good relationship with your brother or his fiancee. You have a lot of stressful things to contend with (pregnancy, diabetes, money, transport, children, etc). It sounds as if your brother wants you there "for show". Decline the invitation, send them a card and a gift and concentrate on your own life. Good luck with your pregnancy.

Answer 8

Nope, dont go. You have other kids so you know that they are never on time, so you cant say whether or not YOU will be healthy enough to make the trip let alone your baby (as you know you arent supposed to take babies to gatherings until at least 6 weeks because of their under developed immune systems) So right there you have the perfect excuse.

Answer 9

I wouldn't go to their wedding, especially after his future wife called you a fxxxxg b'''''ch right in your own home. Your brother sounds like a selfish jerk and so does his wife. He's only thinking about what he wants. You clearly can't afford it. That should be the end of it. He'll get over you not being there for the wedding. Believe me.

Answer 10

Talk it over with your brother. If it just comes down to wether or not you attend the wedding, you can go to show him your support even though you don't like the bride. You don't have to go to the reception to celebrate the marriage after the ceremony.

Answer 11

Not at all, you've said yourself you can't afford it. You can tell him that, it'll be a completely different story if he pays for you to come down but don't stretch your resources thin with 2 kids and a new baby.