my girlfriend and I have been dating for a few years now, and things were going quite well, we have had some hard times, but we have made it through. Lately like the past 6 mo she has been drinking alot, and not that thats a problem but when she gets drunk she gets mean to people around her. It doesnt really bother me when she does that to just me, but now its including my family and friends. She gets upset that people dont like her but when she drinks she tells them some mean things and people dont like that which i agree with. She tells me that i should side with her, but I dont, I cannot have a girl come between me and my family, it wouldnt work out for me. I am kinda close with my family and I wouldnt be the same person without them. Am I wrong for doing this? Should I break up with her, because this has been going on for a while and my family and friends are pretty fed up....
2007-03-14 01:49:18 · 10 answers · asked by summer24 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have talked to her, and she gets upset and angry with me and saying that i should side with her.
2007-03-14 01:54:56 · update #1
Unfortunately, she can’t see that she has a problem and until she does it’s only going to get worse. Your family and friends have every right not wanting to deal with her. Actually you said that she’s mean and says mean things when she’s drunk and it doesn’t bother you and it’s ok if she’s that way towards you just not towards others. Sweetie deep down it’s not ok with you because you know that you deserve better than what she’s offering in your relationship at this time. You also know that she has a problem and that she needs to get help. Your relationship is only going to get worse until she does something about her drinking and getting drunk. Your family and friends will soon turn away from you if you don’t do something for yourself, quick. You more than likely love her and know that she’s better than being a drunk but perhaps tough love is what she needs. I’d tell her as soon as you can that you love her but you can’t deal with her drink any longer. If you feel that you can be a friend to her then do so but I’d end the relationship before you have no family and no friends for someone that you really don’t have because the alcohol has her. Right now she loves the alcohol more than she loves herself, you or anyone else. End this ride before you really end up hurt and alone. I wish you the very best. I had to deal with an alcoholic boyfriend that was verbally abusive, cheated on me and was in deep denial until I showed him tough love. He got the help he needs and he’s not had a drink in over a year.
2007-03-14 02:00:42 · answer #1 · answered by Pisces Princess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, how do you really feel about it? Do you really not have a problem with her drinking?
If you are thinking about ending the relationship, and need to ask on here, then you obviously have an issue with this. Alcoholism is a very difficult thing to overcome, and when it's someone you love, it's even harder.
The other thing you should ask yourself is, if she started drinking 6 months ago, what could be the possible cause? People drink for many reasons, usually to forget their problems, or to escape reality. Is there something that happened six months ago, that may be the cause?
Either way, you have to make a decision, are you willing to tolerate her behaviour for the rest of your life, at the risk of losing your family and friends?
Once you figure that out, you will have your answer.
Good Luck to you.
2007-03-14 01:58:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love her, don't break up with her just yet. You need to sit down and have a serious talk with her when she is sober. Tell her she has a drinking problem. Tell her what she does when she is drunk. Tell her it is not appropriate. Tell her to get some help. If she does, then you are all set. Win-win situation. If she refuses... there are consequences to irresponsible drinking. Breaking up with her would be one of those. You're doing the right thing. Good luck!
2007-03-14 01:52:57 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I have to say that I really feel for you and your family. Alcoholism is a very tough thing to deal with. I deal with it with my sister, so I know exactly what your going through. I wouldnt put up with it. They always say that its going to get better but it doesnt. Your family will be there for you in the long run, not her. I would break it off. It'll only get worse, believe me, I know. Good luck and I hope this all works out for you.
2007-03-14 01:58:23 · answer #4 · answered by pebbles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have to agree with you. I am a very family person too. I would not blame you at all for breaking up with her. If she causes that much of a problem between you and your family you don't need her. She would be happier with someone who can support her with this and is not as close to their family. That is just how I feel.
2007-03-14 01:54:31 · answer #5 · answered by gizmo0013 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you've tried talking to her and it hasn't worked, you need to explain your reasoning more. Tell her how much it bothers you that she is mean when she is drunk. She needs help. Leave around pamphlets for AA and other help like that.
If she refuses to listen to you, its time for some serious talk and breaking up with her. You don't want an alcoholic to be a mother of your children.
2007-03-14 01:59:05 · answer #6 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you break up with her, have a heart-to-heart with her about her drinking and subsequent bad behaviour when drinking. If she refuses to give up the booze, then walk out on her. Blood has always been and always will be thicker than water.
And one thing I'd do, if you can that is, is take a video camera and tape her ranting and raving. Maybe when she sees how she is when drinking, she'll give it up on her own.
2007-03-14 01:53:09 · answer #7 · answered by GirlinNB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you and your family are right. she is becomeing an alcholic. she needs to seek help, and they will not do that until they hit rock bottom. you can tell her till you are blue in the face but it won't help. I would never be with mean drunk. people like that shouldn't drink. So you have to dump her. Or she will never seek help.
2007-03-14 01:53:35 · answer #8 · answered by Shelly t 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would give her an choice its me or the booze. If she chooses you you need to be supportive ,she needs to seek professional help such as AA-12 step program and for you support group for you..
2007-03-14 02:05:53 · answer #9 · answered by MJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think u should sit down an talk to her about her drankin problem and ask her to slow down on her drank . tell her 2 b careful about how she talks to ur family and friends. an if she really likes u she will stop.....................................if she doesnt then u do wat u have 2 do.
2007-03-14 02:00:01 · answer #10 · answered by ~*~ Princess Jasmine ~*~ 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋