We just moved home & my daughter just started nursery last week. Shes been sucking her lips for a few weeks & I thought it was just because of the move & after a while she'll stop.
She sees her dad on a saturday night and comes back on a sunday. I go to her dads so they not alone with him as hes useless with nappies and that. We still together. Then come home on sunday night. We have the occassional argument what relationship dont.
Anyway I got tonsilitis so my mum said she would have my daughter for 2 nights so I can get better. Then when I phone to check she is ok. My mum said something is really bothering my daughter cause of the lip sucking & that my daughter said that when her dad goes to work her dad hates her and doesnt want her anymore. The thing is shes daddy girl & he wouldnt dream of saying that to his daughter & Im there & I have never heard that come out of his mouth. Why would she say these things and how do I make things better for her?
2007-03-14 00:51:20 · 9 answers · asked by claireisabel2007 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
My daughter went through the exact same thing.
She is scared because of the move and hasn't settled down yet and also because of the move and u becoming ill too, she was at her nans and a different place again and even though she has probably stayed at her nans before it unnerved her and made her feel isolated.
The only way she could express her feelings and make people fuss over her and hopefully u get better was to say something that would make people take notice, which is normally about the father, my daughter did the same.
The reason she chose the father was because she wanted her mum and knew somehow that this would cause a reaction in you.
She will be fine but she needs alot of reassurance.
A good idea would be for u and her father to all go out looking around the area that u have moved to and show her all the exciting things that can be done there and also while u are out then buy her something for her bedroom that she can look at and remember what a good day she had with u both. This will ease her and make her feel more at home.
Don't worry, she will be fine!
2007-03-14 01:02:11 · answer #1 · answered by stacey f 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i am an early years practitoner and it sounds to me like the recent changes in your daughters life are affecting her. she is probably just finding it more difficult then others to settle in to her new life what with new house, are and starting a new nursery. what children at that age need is a stable routine, too much change and inconsistency can effect them in a negative way. Try and make her routine more predictable, talk to her and find out more about how she's feeling. she's obviously missing her dad and needs to understand why these things happen. she's just confused. I think that with a more stable routine and communication things should improve. talk to her nursery, find out how she acts there, arrange a proper meeting with them so you can talk properly, have a look at observations they have made of her. she just needs time to settle in to her new life, all children will go through this once or many times in their life. with support they will be fine. hope this helps
2007-03-14 08:00:12 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your daughter is just unsettled, i moved twice in one year with my two boys and you can see the difference it has on them. She's started nursery, so she is no longer with her mum all the time, it sounds like she wants more attention. I wouldn't worry about her lip sucking, that'll just be her comforter. Give her time and talk to her, play and i'm sure she'll let you know whats on her mind.
2007-03-14 08:09:32 · answer #3 · answered by sabina c 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she needs lots of reassurance as lots of things have changed lately for her. Perhaps he should come to yours more rather than you staying there. Its uprooting for her to stay out on the weekends. If you are together why is this? He needs to do some day to day things with her like putting her to bed and waking her up. I am sure he hasnt said he hates her she prob imagines this or dreamt it or some one at nursery may have said this? Try to get things stable for a while and make sure she gets loads of attention from both of you.
2007-03-14 08:05:28 · answer #4 · answered by babyshambles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about for few weeks to try getting her settled Dad comes stays with you ,if at nursery she isn't getting weekends at her new home or area, you both should take her to local park or you both do her room up for her to be comfortable in ,she is only young and probably doesn't understand whats happening with moving and daddy not being there all the time.
2007-03-14 07:56:52 · answer #5 · answered by Nutty Girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to get to the bottom of this. You could maybe try sitting down altoghether and discussing it and maybe have your mum there while it happens as your daughter obviously feels as though she can trust her.
A lot seems to be going on to say she is so tiny. Maybe time and reassurance is all that is probably needed
Good luck with it all
2007-03-14 07:56:51 · answer #6 · answered by Foxy Chick 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children have an AMAZING ability to blame themselves for things that happen to their parents--divorce, for instance. She may well feel that the divorce was her fault--she did or is something wrong and that's the source of the stress. The clue is that she thinks her dad doesn't like her and it may be as simple as that he leaves her to go to work. Both of you as parents need to stress over and over that you love her, that you are not going out of her life, and then demonstrate that love and affection. Don't give in to every demand she has as that's not what we're talking about. She's troubled and may need some help.
2007-03-14 07:57:51 · answer #7 · answered by DelK 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
She is trying to express her feelings. He may not have said anything to her but she may feel that he is abandonining her when he leaves for work or whereever. Maybe next week end when he leaves ask him to tell her he loves her before he leaves and that he will be back in a while. Might help.
2007-03-14 08:13:02 · answer #8 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She feels abandoned by her dad.
He didn't say it but that's not what is important.
She FEELS that it's true.
HE needs to know how she feels and reassure her that he loves her.
2007-03-14 10:55:54 · answer #9 · answered by Haydn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋