a few short jokes from loki?

Question

So Batman came up to me and he hit me over the head with a vase and he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.

So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."

I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.

My mate is in love with two schoolbags. He's bisatchel.

I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." He said, "You've got cholera."

I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue, and I couldn't put it down.

I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on and on.

My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?? I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me."

Answer 1

come on a few more would be nice.

your jokes are wicked mate u SHOULD quit your day job!!

Answer 2

Well copied out of Tommy Coopers joke book

Answer 3

Thankyou

You made me smile :-)

Liked the t'pau one

Answer 4

Brilliant. Where do you get them from?

I once fought for a lady's honour, which is more than she ever did.

Answer 5

LOL 10/10

Answer 6

King of the one liner!!!

Answer 7

thats is wack i heard someone talk **** like that for years

Answer 8

cool

Answer 9

LMAO!! i've been a little down, so thanks Loki for the laughs! some of those were really really funny! ♥

Answer 10

HA HA! Very good made me smile! Thanks hun!