Me and my bf are serious with each other. I love him a lot. We have been together for 6 months now. He is 24 and I am 27. I just had a conversation with him telling him that I might be suffering from a medical condition that might prevent me from having children someday. And I ask him what will he do if this is really true about my health ( I have yet to confirm this with the doctor, though). He says "its a tough question". Then I ask him further, "if you'll still marry me someday"... he says " he has dreams too...he wants kids too".... in other words, the option of him not marrying me for the reason of not being able to conceive is there.... I am just soo bloddy heart broken ever since he told me that. But I love him soo soo very much.... I on the other hand will accept him no matter wht, even if he is sick or cant have children or whatever.
2007-03-14 00:20:15 · 10 answers · asked by tingtangtoo21 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Of course you are hurt! Some men feel that it is extremely important to procreate. It somehow proves their manhood. Have you looked into other ways of having children? You don't have to carry them yourself to have both yours and your husbands genes. If it is determined that you will not be able to have children on your own, be sure to check into alternate ways of having children. If he does not accept them, then it is best you find someone that can.
2007-03-14 00:43:04 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I find it hard to even think about having kids having dated only 6 months. I think there is still so much that you two need to learn about each other. He might be no where near that question yet which is why hes having trouble with it.. I have been dating my bf for almost 2 years, We have discussed the same thing and I am in the same position as you. I might not ever be able to have children. We have discussed adoption and are both open to the idea. I was adopted and although I would love to have my own children, adopting is still a great thing. You get to help a child in need and you are still their parent. I wouldnt think anything other of my parents. They have raised me etc and despite the fact that I dont have their blood running through my veins, I have their spirit, love, and guidance which is just as good. My boyfriend loves me and wants to raise a child with me. That is what is important.
2007-03-14 07:36:06 · answer #2 · answered by jms62394 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi linglang,
Wow i am really sorry to hear about your situation. I wish you the best of luck. If you man wants kids someday then you need to belive that he will feel that his life isnt completed if he gets old and he wanted kids. You need to make sure \what is more important to him, having kids someday or having you. There are thousands of familys that make their way around this problem. I belive that if your relationship is really strong then you should have nothing to worry about. If he loves you then you will make and work it through together. If you are giving him everything that he wants in a women the he wont leave you just to find someone that can reproduce.lol. you can always have a saragit mother. You need to sit down and have a serious convo about what he would do cause you dont want to stay with a guy that wil l up and leave you if you cant have kids, but then again it is his choice and you need to respect what ever choice he makes and love him for it. Stay strong and Good luck.
2007-03-14 07:39:03 · answer #3 · answered by dunk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so what i see is that you are in love with him but because you may not be able to concieve children he isnt sure about marrying u. this is a problem. i would most certainly talk to him about adopting. As a child I was adopted and just like he has dreams of having children... i had dreams of having parents. there are so many kids that need a home and parents to love and take care of thim. i would definately advise you to consider this as a serious option after you try to concieve a child of ur own.
much love
good luck
jessycka
2007-03-14 07:38:06 · answer #4 · answered by Jessycka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your real situation is to determine whether your medical condition has any merit (from your doctor) before you even try to think any further from here. Unless you know for certain whether you will be able to bear children or otherwise, there is no issue to deal with. So why don't you find out for certain on your "purported" medical condition first before you do further damage to your relationship with something that you are unsure of at this stage.
2007-03-14 07:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by thinker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The truth is - most men, if healthy, want kids of their own. I would be surprised if he gave up the opportunity and adopted. If you continued in a relationship he may fulfill his need to be a natural father outside of your relationship.
2007-03-14 07:32:56 · answer #6 · answered by Foxxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can not have children of your own then check out the possibility of adopting a child.
2007-03-14 07:26:41 · answer #7 · answered by MUSHMAN 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW that's a hard one. I think that if he loves you like you think he does that he won't care. I mean you could always adopt a nice cute little child and it could still change your lifes! But if he loves you like you love him I think he'll understand.!
2007-03-14 07:25:07 · answer #8 · answered by Kelsie A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe your bf doesn't really care about u.... tell you what.. Test him ......like pretend the doctor said you can't have kids...... if ur bf doesn't care it's true love. If he fails..... date another guy.
2007-03-14 07:25:30 · answer #9 · answered by M&MS 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you are both fit in other ways, why not ADOPT???
2007-03-14 07:23:25 · answer #10 · answered by Forlorn Hope - returned 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋