2007-03-13 23:47:32 · 8 answers · asked by Tattoo2Many 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Mate i am so sorry for the both of you,i to speak from experience i had a baby boy born stillbirth at 27weeks and it is the hardest thing in life to go through loosing a child especially if it was your first,She will go through different feelings and stages,there is no right or wrong way to deal with this,just take each day as it comes you sound like a very caring partner by asking how you can help her as you to would also be hurting but staying strong for you wife,
my partner purchased me a flower called unforgettable,and was and is very supportive even though he to was hurting and that in its self i think really got me though it all.i was very touched by that it meant a lot to me,
also a friend suggested to free a bird,i go to his burial site,but whilst i do all this nothing can heal the hurt and suffering of loose i feel,only time helps the pain a little and allows you to go on and find your way.but i believe that baby will always be watching over you.
AGAIN I AM SO SORRY AND WISH YOU BOTH ALL THE BEST FOR THE FUTURE.
2007-03-14 00:18:43 · answer #1 · answered by electrified_dancers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A miscarriage is one of the most awful things a woman can go through, a natural part of grieving is to blame yourself, was it that glass of wine?, should I have lifted the laundry basket? what is wrong with me?
The only answer to your question is to talk to her, until she is all talked out.
I suffered a miscarriage in december and was surprised that my husband was as eager to talk about it and cry about it as I was. Reassure her that it was nothing she did, we are told that these things happen for a reason, although I am still at a loss as to why it happened to me, some people find comfort in the thought that maybe there was something wrong with the baby which is why the body releases it.
She will be very sensitive for a long time, wherever she looks she will notice babies, pregnant women, be aware of this and allow her to grieve in whichever way she finds best.
My heart really goes out to you both, it is a rocky path you find yourself on, tread lightly and you will pass through it a little older and a little wiser.
Good luck.
2007-03-14 06:59:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Reassure her that it is not her fault. Let her know that it would have happened regardless of what she's done or not done. A miscarraige is the body's way of "getting rid of" fetuses that aren't developing correctly or fetuses that just aren't right. God doesn't put anything on somebody if he doesn't think they can handle it. Besides, God mighta thought it wasn't the right time or something. She'll get pregnant again. Just don't let her get too down, because after a miscarraige a woman's hormones are crazy. Just remember that she can't help some of the feelings she is experiencing due to the hormonal changes in her body. Just love her.
2007-03-14 06:58:05 · answer #3 · answered by Dana O 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all I'm sorry for your family's loss. I know what you are going through. I would tell your wife that it's not her fault. It is common believe it or not. I would be supportive and tell her that you love her. If need be she and you can go to grief counseling. You can always try again, my husband and I had two miscarriages and when it was all said and done we have three healthy beautiful children. It takes time but it will happen. Best of luck to you both.
2007-03-14 06:56:31 · answer #4 · answered by Lisa D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your loss.
Speaking from experience there is nothing that you can really do apart from reassuring her that it was not her fault and that you are there for her if she needs to talk about it. It is something that she needs to deal with in her own way. Depending on how far along she was you could both plant a tree in your yard to remember the lost child. Like any sort of a loss you just need time to heal. I still think of my lost child every day my son would have just celebrated his 3rd birthday if he would have been born.
2007-03-14 06:56:11 · answer #5 · answered by bvan_25 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could have her come on here and read the answers most of us have had a miscarriage-thats why we answer these kind of questions. Its hurts! real bad. We know. Been there. Your wife did nothing wrong sometimes Mother Nature knows best. Just be there and listen when she talks about it. Reassure her its not her fault.
2007-03-14 07:37:43 · answer #6 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remind her that most miscarriages happen because there was a problem and the baby wouldn't have survived. Tell her how much you love her and that you are there for her. Let her talk about how she feels and get angry, upset, sad, guilty and all the rest as she probably needs to express her feelings to get over them.
Good luck to the both of you.
2007-03-14 06:59:08 · answer #7 · answered by Skidoo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear that. I know from experience that is hard to deal with at first, i also know that everything happens for a reason losing your baby now i think is natures way of taking care of something that was not right. Talk to her comfort her just be there for her. Look after her but don't forget yourself it was your baby too. Take care hope everything works out for you guys
2007-03-14 07:04:59 · answer #8 · answered by pumpkin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋