why do people annoy me? why am i angry at other peoples happiness? im unable to tolerate people very well?

Question

and never have since 16. im jealous of other peoples happiness, when i have to struggle through a torturous life. what does it mean if people easily get to you and irritate you? causing you to feel angry? i wish i could tolerate people and deal with people like i see others doing. from every walk of life. ive recentley been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and i await assesment for therapy. i have problems with inner rage, implsivity and problems trying to control it and high levels of anxiety, social anxiety. this keeps me in my flat all the time. worried to go out. i find that i find it difficult to tolerate people alot of the time, and often have to take time out. as i fear becoming enraged & losing control. i have no confidence in who iam, and have always struggled with this.& while i wait for therapy i suffer terrible low moods & have socially isolated myself. i only go out when i have to. i despair because i feel im missing out on life.

getting a girlfriend and achieving my hopes and dreams. im 29 and live alone
in a 1 bedroom council flat. i feel very unforgiving and bitter and angry
at what ive had to endure throughout my life. is there a solution to
overcome all this?
i feel lonely and isolated all the time. obviously because my lifes far from
the way i want it to be. because of my problems, its not easy to go outthere
and do anything about it either. it cuts me up that i dont have a girlfriend
or ANY social connection. at the same time though, i dont want to be felt sorry
for by people either. or treated like a charity case, that makes me angry to.
im so utterley depressed, angry, and frustrated, because theres no easy way
out of this dark tunnel im in. no easy solution to my problems.
is there anyone who is like me? who has overcome their problems?
what did it take? how long did it take, what did you have to do?
i feel an urgency to catch up and get the things i want in life like
a girlfriend.

friends, a job. live in my own home, emmegrate.
but i get told to take one day at a time.

thankyou everybody for your kind contribution, i wish you all well. thanks again

Answer 1

I sounds to me as though you are having some kind of treatment already as you said you have been diagnosed as having a personality disorder. I hope they will be able to help you as I am not sure any of us on here would be qualified to give you the answers you require.
You obviously want to interact with other people or you would want to be on here, do you spend much time in chat rooms, if so, is it because you can then control these friendships/relationships? Try and work on getting to know one person whom you can trust and like and start from that first step.
OI am so sorry I cannot help. I hope you find peace

Answer 2

Hi u are not alone in your situation. I also suffer from this illness and yes it is an illness. If u r anything like me this life that u r living is definately not what u would CHOOSE to live. ppl think that just because they r happy we should also be able to brush things off and deal with it and go on. I too am in the isolation state have been for over 4 yrs. I dont have any answers for u cause I really cant get the help i need myself. But I just wanted to let you know that u are not alone. there are lots of ppl with this problem its just most wont discuss it. PLZZZZ do not pay attention to the few negitive statements u have gotten if they dont like long questions they shouldnt read them go on to the next short one and as far as to lighten up...I know all about that i hear that a lot but until someone suffers through this they have no right to say such an answer. I hope that u find the peace that u need to have a happy life though it may not be like others they are ways to have some enjoyments in life dont give up just keep searching for something that u develope an interest in and start small and go from there. good luck and God bless

Answer 3

I can feel what you mean. I too have the same type of thoughts and the same 'diagnosis'. I do have a reason behind most of it though. I do tent to think about way too much more than I want to. Especially thoughts about harming people. The best way to deal with that is to help others. To do a 360 degree turn on your outlook on life and to try to care for things you normally don't care for. I believe a pet may help you with some of these issues. If not, you are doing a good thing by making this public. I'm sure there will be someone to help you with this now that it is set out in the open. Please do not lose hope. Feel free to IM me or talk if you'd like to let out some things you wish to say. Right now I'm doing that exact thing. I'm offering my help to others, and it can be very rewarding. I have reached the point of total enragement several times before and it is something that will scar you. Once you reach the point of being just simply an 'animal' it's hard to turn back. The results will also bring you sorrow and disgust in yourself and things may become overwhelming. Don't give up my friend and Good Luck. I'm here if you need someone to talk to.

Answer 4

Several suggestions all meant sincerely. Pester your medical advisers for a solution. Your writing skills seem adequate so why not show them your thoughts in the same way you have here. You say you avoid stressful situations which might precipitate an anti-social outburst. that indicates to me that you are very aware of your potential for violence. That in itself I feel is a good sign ie that you recognise you have problem. Another thought occurs to me which may or may not be appropriate to your problem, how well do you sleep. A good nights sleep can work wonders. As I said that may not be an appropriate solution. Also are you able to laugh at your own or other peoples silly mistakes. The previous answerer dopy-dor also seems to have some insight and I hope you find inner peace soon.

Answer 5

You definitely need professional counseling, and stay away from what most people say here. Most of the people you encounter on here have no medical and or psychiatric background, and you may end up feeling even more depressed. If you can't afford physchological/psychiatric help, there are supposed to be places you can go that will only charge you according to what you can afford. But you do need to get the help. I've suffered similar symptoms off and on all my life, but I'm getting better with age and years of professional assistance. It doesn't mean you're crazy to seek help. The world is a crazy place and we ALL could use the help living in it. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

positioned an end to the jealousy. See the flaws that others have that are making you offended. Set objectives to realize those issues that deep down you recognize you opt for. maximum issues in existence start up with money. start up by way of finding for a enterprise that could hire you, it would not could desire to be plenty. incredibly quickly you may have a soft paycheck and self belief from doing a job properly achieved. those 2 aspects will replace the direction of your existence from that element on. then you certainly can set sensible objectives which will enable you to get to the place you opt for to be.

Answer 7

get a bike and ride away the blues exercise does help, find things that interest u and get out of yr flat into the world, go fruit picking, help out at the salvos, anything but staying brooding and lonely in yr flat, check out the RSVP internet dating take a chance ask some one out, so what if they say no u gotta try, start smiling at people and they will smile back, eat healthy and learn to love yrself then maybe u will find love....hmmm i should take my own advice

Answer 8

There are no quick-fix solutions to your woes. But first you should try to stop dwelling on your plight and nurture a little more generosity towards others. You must remember that there are millions of others who are in a similar situation to yourself - so though you may feel isolated, you are not unique. The more you want something to happen, the less likely it will. Try to step back and nurture good feelings about yourself. Good luck. it starts with you - in this ever unfair world.

Answer 9

You sound like a perfectionist. Your question is articulate and explained very well, you sound intellingent enough to overcome this given the right therapy or whatever is needed in order to help you gain back some self control and inner peace.

Answer 10

are you on medication? if yes it does'nt sound as if it's working. if you fear becoming enraged and losing control tell your doctor, and tell him you are in need of help asap. try talking to people online in chat rooms. there are alot of people in your position, i know that does'nt make you feel any better but you are not alone. good luck.