I'm married now for 9 months, we've been dating for 8 years before we got married. He's eldest of 3 and his family is very close. Both his younger brother and younger sister has had babies in the last 9 monhts and I really feel left behind. We've been planning a family much longer that the rest but have had heatlh issues. I feel my sister's-in-law are much more loved and valued, after all, they made the family two beautiful babies richer! Everyone keeps asking: so when's your eldest son having a baby?? I do much more for everyone in the family than any of my sister's-in-law and cause no problems or fights - they constantly fight, but I still feel everyone get more excited to see them than me because of the babies. Why did they fall pregnantly unplanned so easily, and I have been trying for months, planning for years with no sucsess? Am I just jealous?
2007-03-13 23:00:07 · 5 answers · asked by Sas 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I feel so bad for you but it's because I understand you very well, the same thing has happened to me and it's very sad. I dated my husband for 3 years and we've been married for 3 years already. His youngest brother dated a girl only for 3 months, they got married 2 months after my wedding. We were the newlyweds only for that period of time because then she came to the family and all the attention went to her. They started having kids right away (Britney Spears' style). They now have 2 babies and all the family is just crazy about them. Unfortunatelly I don't have a good advice to give you but I wanted to let you know that you're not alone, that this happens often in families. I wish you the best and I hope when you have your kids, you feel better... at lest that's what my closest friends tell me all the time, I don't believe it thou, I think they'll be always "the special ones" because they are the first grandchildren and both have the names of my husband's parents...
2007-03-15 07:42:32 · answer #1 · answered by Shumbella 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, it's not jealously. it's a pain, a hurt, a depression that they have something that you so desperately want - that doesn't make it jealously it makes it a longing of something you are looking for. don't feel that your sister's-in-law are loved more and valued more than you - i'm sure that is not the fact - they are not more glad to see them over you - it's just that they are glad to see their grand babies. everyone gets excited over little ones - they bring smiles to everyone's faces. so don't feel you have to worker harder and do more for the family to win their approval. just be yourself and when they ask when the eldest son is having a baby, just smile and say when God wants us to. just concentrate on your marriage, relax and enjoy it and, and if it's in the big picture of life you'll have those children. but either way, make your life with your husband a happy place - a place where you both can't wait to get back to. you don't need children to have the happy place, you can be happy with just each other. never let people take it away from you and don't let sadness and depression win out. good luck to you and your husband. i hope your dreams are answered.
2007-03-14 08:26:47 · answer #2 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is actually you wanting to be in the spotlight that you think is rightfully yours. So yes, in a way it is jealousy. However, this doesn't sound like super bad jealousy so I don't think you have a problem. But maybe, to make it better you just don't pay attention to your sister-in-laws. Or maybe you can do something that makes you stand out.
I hope this helps!!! =)
2007-03-14 06:07:56 · answer #3 · answered by ..... 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont feel bad about it
you know you are not wrong then why to be worried
to wish to have a baby is not wrong at all
just be patient hope everything will be right
all the best
i will pray for you
2007-03-14 06:36:15 · answer #4 · answered by catrina a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your time will come.Let them have their time in the sun but you know that when you will have a baby you will be ready for it and it will be planned and apreciated. Your family will then be overjoyed when you announce youre pregnant. Just be patient ... it will happen.
2007-03-14 06:06:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋