etiquettes of behaving when invited for dinner by a british couple?

Question

we are an asian couple , invited for dinner by a british couple living nearby . my english isnt extremely good but i want to behave elegantly ......can anyone please suggest some phrases to say and as to how to behave on the table , manners, how to say n what to say etc. ?

Answer 1

It sounds to me like you have a gracious attitude, and I'm sure that will come through in your manners. I hope you enjoy the food they are serving, but if not, eat a little of it anyway. If they are British it's quite unlikely that they'll serve anything wildly exotic. It will likely be bland to your taste unless they serve a curry. Just follow your hostesses lead and I'm sure you can't go wrong. Even if her behaviour isn't the best.. she wouldn't know better :)

Answer 2

The fact that you're concerned enough to ask this means that you are unlikely to make any terrible mistakes. Etiquette differs by country and hopefully your hosts will recognise this if you do do something 'bad'.

Bascially be polite, say please and thankyou a lot, English people expect please to go with every request and thankyou every time something is passed to them. Take flowers or a bottle of wine with you (don't expect the wine to be used at the dinner, if it doesn't match the meal they will 'save it for a later'). Arrive on time, a few minutes late is fine but early is not a good idea. Afterwards (the next day or so) it is nice to send a little card to say thankyou. It will be expected that you invite them the next time.

The behaviour of your hosts and the type of dinner depends a lot on the social class of your hosts, so it's hard to give any rules. The best thing I can suggest is to read the following book 'Watching the English', as this will tell you the rules followed by different classes. It will tell you how to identify your neighbours and then you should have guidance on how they will act. You could buy Debrett's etiquette guide, but this is rather strict and if you follow the rules from it in a lower middle class household, you'll get very strange looks!

A lot of British people will wait to eat until the host says something like 'please start'.

Don't put your elbows on the table. Eat with your mouth closed and don't talk when your mouth is full. If someone asks a question while you're eating, give a nod to show you've heard their question, finish eating that mouthful and then respond.

My Indian friends often share one plate, this isn't normal in the UK. Also, expect that the cooking usually falls equally on man and woman, as will the clearing away.

Your wine and water glasses are to the upper right of your plate, your side plate and napkin are to the left of your plate.

If you want something from the table, ask for it to be passed - don't lean over someone. Wait to be offered a second helping. If you don't drink alcohol, let your host know. He'll probably offer you an aperitif (a drink before the wine that goes with the meal). Explain then. My friends who don't drink alcohol often bring a bottle of sparkling juice or elderflower cordial or similar with flowers.

When you've finished, put your knife and fork on the plate at about the 'twenty past the hour' mark, together. Never put the cutlery down on the table. When the meal is over, put your napkin on the table.

Compliment the hosts on your food. This used to be impolite but most modern hosts would be really upset if the guests weren't enthusiastic about the food. Also let your hosts know in advance (as soon as possible) if you are vegetarian. They should be able to cope as there are plenty of vegetarians in the UK.

Unless it is a very formal dinner you are likely to have 3 courses - a first course, main course and then a pudding. You'll probably have coffee or tea afterwards. If it is a work night people usually leave by about 11 at the latest.

Topics of conversation: Usually it is best to avoid things like politics, money etc... unless you know them VERY well. At middle class dinner tables discussing art, theatre, the local area, schools, holidays is normal.

English people are fairly private and will not appreciate people looking round their home. Never ask the price of the house or about their salary, this is considered the worst thing you could ever do. Don't pick things up, pull books out or wander round their house. Also English people are not usually very 'touchy feely' and don't like people to stand close to them or to pat them on the shoulder etc... A handshake at the door or raising the hand and saying 'hello' are enough. Sometimes the English might kiss you, even though they would not normally. This is usually a kiss on the cheek or kiss on each cheek, between the women and between the men and women, but the men never kiss the men. They would shake hands. The next day though you will go back to not kissing! This is just for the dinner.

Try not to worry, the British don't bite, and they must be nice, to have invited you to dinner.

Answer 3

Be polite and say "please" and "thank you" when appropriate. Take a small gift (for example a bottle of wine) to say thank you for inviting us. Only start eating when the host or hostess begins eating (or she/he says you may start eating). Keep your elbows off the table (used to be very important at one stage, but not as important anymore). If you don't understand something which is said and it is a question directed at you just politely say that you are not sure what they mean by that question. The napkin or surviet is to be placed on your lap before you start eating. If there are many different knifes and forks, the general rule is start on the outside and work inwards with each course - or you can just watch the other people at the table (hostess or host).
Once you are finished eating put the knife and fork neatly together on the empty plate (like when a clocks hour hand and minute hand are at the 6).
If they are offering wine and you are not a heavy drinker accept the first glass, but also ask for a glass of water inbetween each alcoholic drink.
With a formal dinner, tea is usually served after the desert, but it isn't a standard custom in the modern world and sometimes neglected. After dinner is finished stay for about 30minutes to 45 minutes and just talk to the host and hostess, but if tea hasn't been offered after that time then it is normally considered time to go home.
Thank the host and hostess for dinner, tell them that it was a lovely evening and go home.
If the dinner was formal then it is polite to send a little card through the local postal service thanking them for the Dinner, and it is also polite to invite them to your house for a social gathering within the following 2 months.

Answer 4

Same as Kelly T said and also it would be polite to take either a bottle of wine or, if you prefer, a small bunch of flowers as a mark of appreciation for the invite. If when at the table, you find there is more than one set of cutlery, start from the outside and work in as that would be for a starter and then the main course....

Just be yourself and enjoy the evening...

Answer 5

First find out why Eti quit.
Then more seriously, I haven't a clue. Because Asians are more used to eat without cutlery. Anyway if they invited you they might be open minded people. Smile and go along. Don't comment on the food if your are not familiar with it. Eat like you are hungry.

Answer 6

Just try to be polite (say please and thankyou) and don't chew with your mouth open or speak with your mouth full (general good table manners really).