my bf said his family won't approve if he wants to marry me cos i'm not too religious and his family r. do u think i should become more religious in order to be accepted by his family to marry my bf?
2007-03-13 22:35:30 · 20 answers · asked by DaRkAnGeL 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Tough one, i think you are only considering changing because of the nature of the change. Being "religious" is perceived as being good, so you think the change is worth considering, what if the change was something else? giving up your faith for instance? You cant just "become" religious i dont think, it must come from an inner faith that you feel. Does his family want you to pretend to be religious to fit in with his family? Respect their beliefs by all means, but your boyfriend fell in love with you knowing who you were and loves you for who you are, not in spite of it. Problems are bound to arise with in laws, different strokes for different folks etc, but how you deal with them is important, start off by giving in, against your own needs sets a pattern, you also have to consider any children you may have, and how their fathers religion would be involved in their up bringing. Perhaps when that time comes you would feel left out, you wouldnt be a part of something your children would be involved in. There is lots to weigh up but i'm sure there is an answer for you, good luck
2007-03-13 22:50:07 · answer #1 · answered by ♠ Merlin ♠ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my Point Of View I think
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo
OK i think that changing yourself for someone without believeing about what you are doing wont solve the problem!
Because you are going to have a problem about accepting the New YOU!!
Being religious is From my point of view something great but being religious mean just to believe.
you know its not going to charch or mosk or temple or house of worship....
its just to believe .
you have to tell them about that
And they have to accept you as you are Because religion thing is between you and god.
ok what i want to say Now you are in new Level of your life you can choise Being religios or not so just try to read Search for the truth if you like it then u will become religios and if not really dont.
TC
Wish you The best
2007-03-14 05:50:41 · answer #2 · answered by kilin_jok 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cannot he take you in his life as you are.....
Doesn;t love mean that you accept a person with all his positves and negitives..... what wrong if u are not that religious... it is possible that after marriage you may adapt to the enviornment at his place....
we have examples of people of diffrent religon marrying one an other... whats wrong if one doesn;t practice more... isn;t there a room for improvement.....
2007-03-14 05:43:10 · answer #3 · answered by Zaheer Ahmed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DOES IT BOTHER HIM? If he doesnt mind then what are you worrying about? My family is religious too and I marrie dout of my religion because I know my husband supports my beliefs and loves me for who I am and me being me is enough for him. Dont ever change who you are at the expense of others, rather be a first rate version of you than a second rate version of someone else!
2007-03-14 05:40:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They should love you for who you are and if not they should love you because ur bf does. He shouldn't tell you you need to change if he really wanted to marry you he wouldn't have cared what his parents said, he should love you for you and so should his parents you need to tell him how you feel about the sistuation sit down and talk with him and his parents. When they argue just sit there and listen to it argueing with them won't help at all! Goodluck and hopefully you'll make the right choice- much luck-Lilly
2007-03-14 05:57:40 · answer #5 · answered by lilly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't change for the worst change for the best. If your bf love you the way you r then there no need for change. And if you change then it's up to you, not the family.
Congratulation on the married
2007-03-14 05:45:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should not change who u are for your bf's family but if u think of changing do it for yourself and then it will feel right. if u do it for the sake of marrying your guy you may not be able to keep up in the long run.
2007-03-14 05:46:50 · answer #7 · answered by sphe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you shouldnt have to go the extent to prove your love 4 someone,and there is no such thing as too religious. God loves us for who we are,so if you want to change, change 4 yourself, cause at the end you would be pleasing his family not God.and the way i see it you made his family happy and not yourself,because you didnt change 4 you
2007-03-14 05:53:16 · answer #8 · answered by lesuiremike 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are who you are and you should not retend otherwise. He fell in love with you and not his parents. So what is the problem.. It may heart, but try not to push the marrage thing. If I become a parent, I'll think back to how I was now, and use that to judge a person, ...I cold go on but ...
2007-03-14 05:46:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, its not a bad idea to be religious - but its a crazy idea when you do it to please others. Your bf likes you just the way you are, why doesn't he stand up to his family and defend you?? if he is going along with his family's ruling ,then maybe you need to rethink your intentions of getting married to this guy???
Whatever you od, don't change(or pretend to) just to please others..especially your future in-laws!
2007-03-14 05:41:00 · answer #10 · answered by sweetDove 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋