what would you do or think as a parent?

Question

if your 21 year old daughter told u she was pregnant...
im not pregnant but have been living with my boyfriend of almost 4 years for over a year now, and we are talking abt trying for a baby in a few months time...

Answer 1

If my daughter, in the same circumstances, told me she was pregnant-I would be elated. The fact that you've lived on your own and been with the same partner for 4 years proves to me that I had raised a responsible woman. Plus, who doesn't love Grandbabies? :D

Good luck :)

Answer 2

This is a big step, so before you do take it make sure that you are ready for it. A pregnant mother doesn't do or take part in stuff that a young single girl does so anything you put into your mouth or breathe into your lungs or do with your body should be totally different than what a young pub hopping, smoking and beer drinking hottie might do. So if you are ready to hang up the dancing shoes, put away the lighter and beer mug then all the luck to you. Being a good parent takes an entire life of commitment to the young person that you are thinking of bringing into this world. Good luck in your decision it is one that the both of you have to make together as there are already too many split up couples these days trying to raise kids singlehandedly when it was initially thought that a team effort was needed.

Answer 3

I've been in this position. I was 21 and pregnant. My partner? The love of my life, whom I met in 5th grade at 10 years old. We weren't married, although we had talked about it. We had known each other for over a decade and were committed partners for 5 years before my pregnancy... or so I thought. I came to find out that our relationship was a sham and when he couldn't make up his mind about staying or going, I just ended it. I was 6 months along. My daughter is approaching her 11th birthday now, and we see neither hide nor hair of her father anymore.

Now, that's my story. Obviously it's not necessarily your story. I'd just like it to serve as a warning. Marriage may not have mattered in my case - in fact, I'm glad I never married my daughter's father, as I think it would have spelled disaster - but I promised myself after the heartbreak that I would not have another biological child unless I was married. I've held to that. The point is, you and your boyfriend ought to be committed enough to get married before you have a child together. Sounds traditional, yes, but raising a child alone is not easy, especially if you want to do it right and well.

That said, your question about your parents is funny to me. You're 21. You are an adult. What your parents do or think depends on your past, present, and future plans and what your relationship with them is like. My parents weren't ecstatic when I told them, but they weren't upset either - maybe I'd characterize their reaction as "ambivalent," happy because they knew I'd be a good mom, but concerned about the relationship I was in and worried I'd not be able to achieve other goals I had for myself. I don't think either of them were thrilled to be grandparents in their 40s. Ah, well.

I guess the point is, where are you in your life? Have you finished college? Do you have a job on which you could support yourself and a child if your boyfriend was to flake out and leave? If so, go for it. There is no "perfect" time to have a baby (although the ability to support that baby is crucial), but we can prepare as best we can. If you're comfortable and self-sufficient I can't imagine your parents having an issue or being anything but happy for you (unless they're stuck on the marriage issue or were never supportive of any of your other decisions).

Good luck.

Answer 4

If I have brought her up to be a responsible adult and knew that she would be a great mother and she is happy then I would be happy for her. I wouldn't want to be left looking after my grandchild and bringing him or her up for my daughter I think that is what most parents fear that their children will not be responsible and will have to step up for them and accept responsibility for grandchildren instead of getting all the fun stuff like buying them stuff and having fun with them. I hope you and your boyfriend get the love and support you need and make a wonderful family together. All the best.

Answer 5

If either of my two daughters, after reaching the age of 21, were to come to me with the news of their pregnancy. I would be very accepting. You're an adult! And, if you have a good relationship with her, she will be happy for you!

Answer 6

I'd rather you were married first. Serious commitment is an important step before getting married. But it's your life, not mine, so you need to think this through very carefully. Then I'd try to be as supportive as possible & love the grandchild. (My daughter is 22).

Answer 7

why don`t you get married first, so that you are both committed to this baby, and give him a real family when it is born.
i think that`s how your parents will think.
Think about it more before you do it, having a baby is a big task and is a responsibility, it`s not a game. it`s another person`s life.
Good luck

Answer 8

I'd buy her a car for waiting that long! My daughter is 16 and scaring me to death. We celebrate her periods like they were birthdays!

Answer 9

if you are living away from mommys and daddys house and you are of age what does it matter you are on your own. you might need there help so you would want there blessing. and if they like your boyfriend that will help to

Answer 10

at 21 it is your life and your decision but are you ready ??

do you have health insurance money in savings ?
a good job ?