Long story short. I've desired to pursue a serious relationship with this girl for the past 3 years. I've came to terms with myself that this relationship is not going to work, and the best way for me to overcome that is by staying away from her as much as i can. The reason i do that is because i don't want to put myself in the position to become soft and fall for her again.
During a social gathering, she revealed to me she has an alcohol problem. That puts me the edge and gives me the affirmation i really dont want to pursue a relationship with her. But now i really want to be an encouragement to her. I want to write her an email and let her know how i'm disapointed she is going through this.
What do you think?
2007-03-13 21:11:36 · 6 answers · asked by crunchtime88 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Please don't use the word "disappointed" when referring to her problem. I think it is great that you are willing to be a good friend to her and encourage her to not abuse alcohol. It's amazing what a difference someone can make in someone's life by just being there for them.
But,also know that if she does not want to stop drinking, there is nothing you can do to help her. You sound like you are pretty smart and will know when you have done all you can. I am not saying to abandon her, just don't allow it to interfere with your life.
If it gets to the point you think it is extremely out of control where she may hurt herself or others I would contact one of her family members and suggest they intervene.
2007-03-13 21:22:49 · answer #1 · answered by ginger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not going to want to hear this, but the best thing you can do is walk away. I've been through this one, and the thing is, if she really is an addict, she will say anything to keep you, until she's clean. If she's not an addict, then she's pulling out a wound to make you pity her, because she knows the love is gone, and pity is all she's got left. Either way, you can't stay. It's a lose-lose situation. If you want further advice on this, try the al-anon (sister support group to AA, set up just for friends and family members of alcoholics) message board on yahoo. These people have more experience dealing with loved ones and ex's who have drinking problems, and they can get you the information you need. Just reading the posts from the other members will give you an education in what you're dealing with.
2007-03-14 04:31:06 · answer #2 · answered by Rose of the Valley 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I myself have experienced the effects of loving someone with a alcohol problem.....I ended up marrying him after being together for 11yrs. We were together 3 months after being married and now we're getting a divorce. It won't work out until she decides to get help for herself. You can't do that for her. You can try to be there for her through this process if you love her. So ultimately, that's the question you need to ask yourself. Do you love her? When you can answer that, you'll know what to do.
2007-03-14 04:28:26 · answer #3 · answered by robbies girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if you should say that your disappointed with her because alcohlism is a disease- maybe you should offer her your support and offer to go to meetings such as AA if she is willing to go-so she can get some help-but remember they have to Want To Get Help! Don't force her into anything-but offer to listen if she needs it!
2007-03-14 04:16:41 · answer #4 · answered by buffster06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to be a hero. The best you can do for her is to advise her to connect with Alchoholic Anonymous.
2007-03-14 04:23:59 · answer #5 · answered by SGElite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
bad idea.
if you say this to her:
" i am happy i did not enter into a realtionship with you
because you booze"
she is going to take it very hard.
if you want to help her and not demolish her remaining self esteem dont do it.
besides it is just cruel.
2007-03-14 04:18:10 · answer #6 · answered by rose 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋