Am i too unreasonable?

Question

I got engaged at the beginning of this year.My fiancee is too occupied in his work i wanted to celebrate valentine's day with him but he said he cannot take an excuse from his office & he dont want to create negative impression on his boss just because he is getting married.He want that we should treat everyday as a valentine day., i understand him, his work pressure but he could have tried.I am also working and i on my part make efforts to meet him but he never does.He meet only when his work is completed & never made any special efforts. Am i expecting alot

Answer 1

I understand your concerns, but you should take this from his side for the sake of "putting yourself in his shoes". Right now his work is probably a VERY important aspect for your livelyhood. It may be paying your bills, it may be paying for the wedding, and in the near future it WILL be a large portion of your family income. If he risks his job to spend ONE day with you, the future you two will have together COULD become more rocky as his boss may not tolerate it. He doesnt want you to want for anything from now until forever.

Now, the chore is to get him to understand that you have to find a balance. You cant be the one doing all the supporting emotionally and him doing the financial.... it needs to be shared. So, you need to sit down with him and explain to him that you are feeling neglected. That you understand his work is important, and why. You need to work out a compromise. My suggestion is to work out a "date night" where he will go out with you (or for that matter stay in for a nice dinner and movie maybe) regardless of whether he finished his work yet or not. Obviously this means your best bet is a Friday or Saturday so that he will have the next day to "play catch-up" on any work he may not have finished.

A marriage is all about communication and compromise. Start on it now, and you will still be happily married 50 years from now.

Answer 2

I think what's important is both your priorities. For a lot of men, and for most urban women too, their careers are important and as important as marriage and family life is, it is the career that financially supports the quality of the latter. Most men will tell you everyday is valentines, it's not that he doesn't care for you, but its because it is i fact a lot of hype over nothing. Wouldn't it be more romantic if he took you out and did somethng meaningful and special on a "normal" day when you didn't expect it? Don't take it to heart; it's just about priorities. I'm sure he has his own way of showing u he cares.

Answer 3

NO! Your man should be more understanding...it sounds like he is all about himself! Bosses are a lot more understanding than most people think! Unless your man's boss was born without a heart something is going on and you should sit down and talk to him before things get out of control. Communication is always the best cure! Hope everything goes well, don't hold back, don't be afraid, tell him how you feel and allow him to respond. Women should be treated like a god and if your not getting that then start looking somewhere else!

Answer 4

NO you are not expecting a lot. It is very normal to want to spend time with the person that you love. So my thoughts are these, before you get married, make sure that both of you understand what being married is all about and I am not thinking of the beginning of the honeymoon, but the long road of living together, making time for one another and sacrifices for each other - are you both really prepared. Speak to him and and tell him that relationships need work, from both persons, not just from one person, that is not a relationship, that is called being a slave.

Answer 5

Youre being reasonable. Listen, he is showing you whats more important to him right now-his career. Nothing is gonna change even if you get married. The reality is if you should be going into labor and his office calls with a crises he will likely call an ambulance for you and rush to the office if you dont put your foot down now. We teach people how to treat us and by you making it seem like its ok for him to put you second to his job you make him continue this pattern. STOP THE CYCLE! Tell him how this makes you feel and we both know its unfair on you. If he isnt willing to compromise then why should you. A relationship is 50/50 nothing more and nothing less.

Answer 6

He's not only doing this for himself, he's doing it for you too. You should give him more space, he's already been stressed up with work, so don't add more pressure on him. Cherish every minute you both spend with each other. Doesn't matter if it's just in a few moment, when you do something that you both love, he will not only looking forward to spend time with you, this will also shows that you always love and support him.

Answer 7

i wish he was my father. You should be thankful you have a very responsible husband-tobe. support him. Love is not just being together, but helping each other to succeed. That is the beauty of marriage, it's a special form of partnership. what the other can't give the other should provide. - Always look at the brighter side, and prepare yourself.

No, you're not being unreasonable you're just a woman in love, and i'll forgive you for that. ciao!!!

Answer 8

no one's in the wrong, but marriage takes effort and a lot support and understanding. both parties should put each other in the other's shoes. a little empathy would curb the rising divorce rates nowadays.

Answer 9

YOU'RE NOT BEING UNREASONABLE WANTING TO DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR VALENTINE'S DAY BUT U ALSO HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HIS CIRCUMSTANCES.

IF HE CANT GET TIME OFF WORK IT'S NOT HIS FAULT. MAYBE AT SOME POINT HE'D WANT U TO TAKE TIME OFF WORK BUT U WONT BE ABLE TO. JUST MAKE SURE HE GIVES U TIME WHEN HE'S NOT WORKING

Answer 10

Yes. You at least know that he is not going to lose his job because he does not take it seriously. He will be a good partner. He wanted to get with you at a different time.