OKAY here go`s a painfull question!?

Question

I am an 18 year old male who has never had a relationship with a girl (i know pathetic right) i have low self-a-steam and poor social skill`s and i don't know how to meet, approach or talk to you girl`s i get to nervice and paranoid and fell like I'm not good enough for you all`s time. I have a relative who has a similar situation and he is 30 some years old and is alone and i don't want to follow in his foot step`s. All i want in life is a loving relationship (who will never hurt me aka cheat) and love me for who i am. But the hard part is getting to that point. What should i do...any advice on how or where to meet that special someone. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs or party and it seems that's all people my age are doing (should i start) THX for any advice and no rude comment`s because believe me I've heard them all and i know it`s pathetic asking this on yahoo answer`s but i have no one else to talk to.

Answer 1

NO, don't start doing that crap! People do that because they're insecure too! Don't join them.

Be yourself and learn to like yourself for who you are. The more comfortable and confident you are with yourself...the more that will show to those around you.

If you want to meet women than join some sort of group. If you are religious than pick and go to a church. If you like mountain biking...join a recreational group. There are tons of these types of groups out there.

Most of all...don't sell yourself short. You seem like a good guy, and you deserve someone who will love and cherish you.

Answer 2

Honestly, just continue to be yourself. And if you decide to pick up any hobbies/habits in order to attract a woman, let it be something that will benefit--and not KILL--you (like all that drug nonsense). I'd say the FIRST thing you need to do is:
WORK ON YOUR SELF-ESTEEM!!! If you feel that you're "not good enough" for someone, then you probably aren't. Why? Because ppl with low self-esteem are insecure (read paranoid and untrusting).


If you're painfully shy, try website dating. It may help to build up your confidence. I don't know how well it works, but I know it's gaining in popularity. Depending on where you live, you can also try getting out more...there are plenty of places that attract people your age (movie theaters, arcades, bowling alleys).

You may be socially inept, but you shouldn't take rejection so personally. Many girls have no idea what they want.

Just be careful and stay away from minors--18+ buddy!!!

Answer 3

You poor thing. How sad.
You might try meeting some ladies at a gym or if you have a dog, take your dog to the park with you.
We love dogs and most of the time, start up conversations with guys about their dog.

If you don't have one, you might consider getting one. Cute dogs are chick mahnets.

I know you are not a drinker but you can always drink in moderation. Besides, most 18 year old girls DO and that could comprimise you.

It will relax you and it would make it easier to strike up conversation.

You are at that partying age. A girl might even pass you up once she finds out that you're not a drinker at all.

No one likes an alcoholic, so I'm not trying to persuade you to do the rediculous.

We like guys that can drink socially without getting drunk. That's very impressive.

If you are totally opposed to this, then I suggest trying to find some lady in church or at the library that might share your interests.

If you have a lot of guy friends, try throwing a private party and ask them to invite every girl they know.
You just might find that special girl in the crowd that doesn't like to drink either.

Good luck on your quest. I know it seems hard but hang in there.

I still say, go for the cute dog hook. It works like a charm.
Once you meet, ask her out for coffee. After coffee ask her out to dinner and a movie. Art museum? Find out what she likes by asking a lot of questions.

Again, good luck!

Answer 4

I know this might sound simple but this is going to be your best advice yet... just be yourself, talk to her like shes a human being that you just want to get to know. Any decent girl just like simple but good conversation when she first meet someone. We dont want to tell our life story in the first convo, neither do we want to hear yours. Leave us something to talk about on the phone. Intoduce yourself and ask her her name. Give her a nice complement (nothing creepy) and say something interesting about yourself so maybe she would want to get to know you better. Try not to care so much after all you dont know her so what does it matter if she turns you down or not. Dont linger to long make it quick but enjoyable leave her wanting more. just ask for the number and tell her you will call her sometime. Dont be discouraged if you get rejected cause sometimes its not you, she couldve had a bad day, 1,000 guys probably tried to talk to her before you and by the time you come she's over it, or she just not in the mood. Ive turned down plenty of guys for that reason. If she sees that you dont care sort of speak and that you can just move on to the next chick she'll want you more. sorry thats the way it is girls kinda like doggs i dont know why human nature i guess. women just like the alpha male (the man everyone else wouldnt mind getting with too). Oh yeah, you can be the ugliest man in the world but if you have confidence you can get anyone you desire trust me...Look at half of the people in the enetrtainment industry. if you need more advice just hit me up.

Answer 5

Sound to me since you don't drink, smoke, do drugs or party that you have a lot of common sense and doing some good in your life. Just because others do those things and it appears they are attracting a lot of people does not mean it is healthy or wise to go that route.

Trust me you have a lot more going for you and look at all the problems you are not having.

Pray and ask God to lead you to the right person. Get rid of fear because God will bless you with the best.

Answer 6

Just be yourself and be more talkative to girls. You dont need to party, smoke and drink to get girls, thats stupid. You are still in school so, theres a lot of chances for you to talk to girls at school. Just approach girls in your classes and ask them for help on hw, for example, to get the conversation started. Don't worry its normal to not have a relationship when your 18. Relationships take away a lot of your time and its stressful most of the times. So, dont think that having a gf means you will have a loving relationship. Anyway, you will get a gf! just wait!

Answer 7

Drugs are for LOSERS and smoking is STUPID and gross.
Just practice chatting with EVERYONE, girls, guys, women, men, old people, whoever... all ages, everywhere you go. You just need practice. The more you talk with people, the more comfortable you will become with the ladies. That is the first step. We are just people. And give yourself a break; you're only 18!!! I was really shy right until about that age. Now I am super-confident. You can do it too!! :)

Answer 8

Well I have been in that same situation. I am a shy person so it has been hard for me to find that certain someone. You do have to love yourself first before others can. It is hard, but try joining groups that you have a interest in to meet other women. Also I found it easer to go online and talk to people. You can be yourself online easier at least that is what I have found out. You could join a dating site too. Just remember you won't usually find that certain someone overnight. It takes awhile to get to know someone.

Answer 9

Don't start smoking and drinking ias this won't help you at all. Most of the time people are afraid to take a risk out of fear of looking like a fool.

The easiest way for you to overcome this is be asking a girl out when you're on your own with her. Don't try it in front of friends as the fear of being rejected in front of them will make you mess it up.

Remember if a girl says no, just be polite and walk away. You'll have no need to feel embarressed as you won't see her again.

Answer 10

First of all Im a 41 year old guy, who has been known and still is to be pretty good with the chicks. One thing to remember, if you never try, your going to be in the same boat your in now, and empty one. Another thing, i dont care how good you are or arent with the ladies, theyre always intimidating. I think its the beauty that does it to us guys. Not always the same approach works for everyone. But Ill tell you mine. I just walk up to a woman, and tell her what is on my mind. Whether it be wanting to have sex with her, take her out, or just flat out want to get to know her because Ive got that warm, nervous, sweaty feeling going on. All that she can say is no, but youll be suprised how many say yes, because they like it when a guy has the you know whats to approach her. If you get one out of ten to say yes, youve won. Your not getting any younger. All the other stuff like sex, and holding hands will work into itself naturally. Dont try to look at the big picture, take it one step at a time. So look at it like this, it you never try, youve lost the game before you ever started. Good Luck!