This fellow is funny and articulate, yet when if comes to emotion, seems to be immature. Does this disorder mean that emotionally the person is under developed? For example he became jealous of a girl(!) who came up and danced with me ( I am female too) and if you can believe it, he told her that she should leave because he was dancing with me. I was embarrassed beyond belief. But then he will write poetry that is absolutely brilliant, actually genious, definitely more profound than emits from my brain. Things go wonderfully for days and then he will stun me with something beyond childish. Has anyone observed similiar actions with persons with ADD's? Thank you kindly.
2007-03-13 19:14:12 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Gees, you people are letting down the spirit of the Great Right Hope - you left out the stereotypical behaviours of torturing small animals and trashing the furniture. Honestly, spend a little less time watching tabloid "news" shows and a little more time observing the world around you for yourself.
Right, so, to answer your question with the thought it requires (and I think it's a very good question) here goes.
People with AD/HD, especially if their diagnosis/treatment has come later in life, can certainly come across as "immature" at times. One of the aspects of AD/HD is what the boffins call "spontaneity" - that is, the filter most people have for "self-censoring" behaviour can be absent or damaged, which can result in, to put it simply, "leaping before you look." That could be what triggered the dance-floor episode. But it could also be that this guy is a jealous git!
Lack of emotional development can come about because of difficulty in socialising, this guy might just be "inexperienced" - or, again, he might just be a guy.
I think you should take on this relationship in the same way you would any other - balance up what you like and what you don't like, and if the first list is longer than the second, give it a go! By all means, if it gets more serious (or even if it doesn't) read up on AD/HD, get an understanding of what behaviours might be attributable to it, and try to help him understand and work on it too. Just "be there" for him - it's a terribly frustrating condition, but has its good sides too, as you've already seen with his wonderful creativity and thoughtfulness.
All the best with it, and yes, there is certainly hope for a relationship. If you hadn't already worked it out I have AD/HD, and I have a wonderful marriage (not that I didn't have some disastrous relationships along the way, of course!) Just talk to him, and see what happens.
2007-03-13 19:49:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is a question only you can define.....Are you able to withstand a relationship when he does things that might shock you ?? Is he worth looking past all the so called immature things he does ?? If the answer is yes then understand him and let me do what he wants. If it's a little hard for you, it might be wise to end it because if you hold onto something in the end, it'll only hurt him worse. Save yourself some heartache and look into what makes you so interested in this guy...If it's more then his immaturity then stay together. Good luck !!!
2007-03-14 02:19:20 · answer #2 · answered by the_wicked_itch_of_the_west 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have ADD and i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years. We fight sometimes because i'm forgetful, and do exactly what you are describing... I'm very smart and everything, but i just have little bouts of stupidness. Later i know it was stupid and i regret it, and i thank my bf every day for his patience with me!! it does take a lot of patience, and understanding. If he is emotionally under-developed, it's simply him and has nothing to do with ADD. Just wiegh out if you like him enough to put up with those acts of stupidness... they will always happen. Over time it gets better, but it will always be there. If you really like him, stick it out and see how things go- but if he is constantly embarrassing you or making you angry, etc to where you don't want to be with him, or question if you want to even stay anymore, it may be best for both of you to just move on.
Best wishes!â¥
2007-03-16 04:53:59 · answer #3 · answered by sexykaeley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, my mother's late husband has ADD. He is really nice but sometimes becomes almost obsesive. It can be a good relationship but it can be a hard one. My mom and him fight everyday several times a day. And the sad thing is that after a fight is over, the next he will bring up the same thing and fight about the same thing again!!! My mom is almost ready to leave him. They've together two years.
2007-03-14 02:19:53 · answer #4 · answered by WWW.MYHIBRID.COM 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ADD is a slippery slope. Is he taking meds or engaging in behavioral therapy of some kind? If not...it's probably going to be more trouble than it's worth. Besides, what kind of guy doesn't want see two girls dancing together?
2007-03-14 02:22:02 · answer #5 · answered by evilim 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i am told i have it,too. but i don't act childish.i start too many projects and don't finish them. it's like you can't keep your mind focused enough to finish. you get bored with one thing and try another. it was explained to me that people who have ADD,excel in a perticular aspect in their life. mine was working as many hours a day that i could.and i was very good at my job. i made very good money. so,yes there is hope for a relationship. and also medication to help control it.i have been married for 37 years,and have two college educated kids with so signs of ADD!
2007-03-14 02:26:09 · answer #6 · answered by stacy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as "Attention Deficit Disorder." This is another liberal myth like "global warming."
It also falls into the category of Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny (all of which are also not real).
The "disease" was invented mostly for labeling children who can't pay attention to some boring hag in school, to make it appear as though there was something wrong with "them" instead of the fact that they outlawed recess or gym class because some little fatty couldn't keep up.
2007-03-14 02:16:58 · answer #7 · answered by Joseph C 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Add..u have to have lots of patience, u have to like him a lot...his mind will run a mile a minute, but yes, very creative
2007-03-14 02:19:54 · answer #8 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ADD usually means intelligence and spoiled. The immature thing is lack of experience. Guys are usually more immature then girls.
2007-03-14 02:26:12 · answer #9 · answered by bestbet77 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Take a look at this article. He probably has a problem controlling his emotions...
2007-03-14 02:25:07 · answer #10 · answered by Systematics 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋