I have a Step-Daughter who is 4 years old. She loves her "Father" to death! But she never see him. He calls maybe 1-3 times a week, and maybe see her once a month. I believe she's too young to understand that I'm her Step-Father. Does anyone know why she's so loyal to him, even though he's never in her life.
PS. He was never in her life to the point where they lived under the same roof. I have been more of a Father to her then him, and I have hatred in my heart towards him because he's not doing his job she loves him so much. What should I do?
2007-03-13 18:53:11 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Where they didn't live under the same roof
2007-03-13 19:02:56 · update #1
To Colleen, I respect your opinion but he ISN'T in her life. He hasn't seen or talked to his daughter in 2 months.
2007-03-13 20:17:22 · update #2
In my opinion- you are the real "father". He probably doesnt think about her well being nearly as often as you do. Just keep doing what you are doing and your step daughter will come around. After all she is only four. Up until this point she hasnt been introduced to the idea of "dead-beat dads". As she gets older, perhaps she will be heart-broken by the fact that her real dad chose not to be their for her but she will be comforted by the fact that you stepped up to the plate. Do not worry. It will be okay
2007-03-14 04:35:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a step-son who is also four. We have custody of him so I am with him all the time. My husband has always had custody and his biological mom has just had visitation. He also loves his biological mom very much, even though she also rarely sees him or even calls. Although I know that if he was given the choice, he would choose her over me, I know that it is just because he doesn't yet realize that I am the one that is always there for him. He is too young to see the things she doesn't do for him or that he isn't her priority. I take comfort in the fact that once he is older and sees her for what she is, he will feel fortunate for having me in his life, raising him.
There isn't anything you should do at this point, other than to be there for her and comfort her when she gets disappointed. She will realize one day, just as my son will. Don't have hatred for her biological father. Just pity him for missing out on raising your precious daughter. After all, without him, you wouldn't have her.
Good luck and happy parenting...
2007-03-14 02:12:52 · answer #2 · answered by Lyzz 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't interfere.
Take care of your relationship with her.
Let her 'father' take care of his end.
It is possible, and healthy, to love more than one person.
Think of it this way, she has the love and support of an extended family. She can go farther and safer than most kids who don't have this kind of love.
Her father's love and her love for him does not take anything away from you and your relationship with her. If you try to interfere, you will lose. When she is older she will make judgment calls on the way all of this works out. Let her love you for the care and openness you give her now.
2007-03-14 02:05:52 · answer #3 · answered by Batty 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard, but try not to be jealous of her love for him. No matter how big of a shi+ bag he may be, that's her Daddy!! So never disrespect him in front of her by talking bad about him, she will only resent you. Give it time and let her relationship with you grow naturally. Just be there for her no matter what. As time goes by she will see which man is truly there for her. She can love you both!!
2007-03-14 02:01:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
there is nothing you can do nor should you try
its like when grandparents come to visit they bring gifts and shower the child with attention its the same thing
just remember she loves you to and will grow to know if she ever has a problem you will be the dad she will come to because you have always been there for her
2007-03-14 02:00:42 · answer #5 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
she's a CHILD. she can't help it.
we all love our parents - now matter how badly they mess up.
don't you love your parents? they screwed up once in a while.
she'll understand the difference between sperm donor and DADDY when she gets older (like in her 20's).
anyone can be a 'father' (sperm donor), but it takes a very SPECIAL MAN to be a DADDY.
and thank you for loving her.
2007-03-14 08:41:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you should do. She loves her biological father, accept it. Just because he isn't IN her life doesn't mean he isn't a PART of her life. And maybe that is WHY she loves him...It is not for YOU to reason about.
2007-03-14 03:05:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to be non judgemental about her father when she is around act like it doesn't bother you. As she grows up and he begins to disappoint her more and more you will need to be there to pick up the pieces. Just make sure to not let your feelings about him show or her loyalty to him will last longer
2007-03-14 03:00:04 · answer #8 · answered by tiki/more 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is like this its a child's blind and unconditional love for there parents, even children that are abused still love there parents
2007-03-14 08:55:37 · answer #9 · answered by sckenpo 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just keep loving her like you have been doing.
I am sure she loves you too. It's normal to have those feelings but don't let her know about them.
2007-03-14 01:57:52 · answer #10 · answered by Tenn Gal 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋