I will be having a lunch with someone that I know she is married. I am just wondering whether it is polite or not to ask how many children she has in our conversation.
She is around 50's I am 30's. She is my co-worker
2007-03-13 18:34:00 · 12 answers · asked by Formula One 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
in my opinion it would be more polite to first ask IF she has kids (assuming you are comfortable together and making small talk is no big deal) if you already know she has children, than I think it would be a safe topic of conversation.
2007-03-13 18:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't think asking "How many kids do you have?" is the polite way to broach the subject. Asking instead if she has any children is more polite. Simply asking how many she has makes the assumption that married women must have kids - which is not always true - some couples choose not to have children, and some couples can't have children, and some couples might have had children but might now be separated from them through loss or estrangement. Or maybe she might feel embarassed at the number of kids she has (too few or too many in society's eyes). If any of these was the case, your questions would put your co-worker on the defensive or embarass her -- and you, which isn't polite. If you simply ask about her family, she can tell you what she feels is important - perhaps her husband, or her children, or her grandkids, or her siblings or her pets - a topic of her choice that gives you a chance to learn more about her.
2007-03-13 18:47:52 · answer #2 · answered by jawajames 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be better for you to ask "if" she has children, then you can ask how many. It is a valid topic of conversation as long as you build onto the topic by asking other questions related to children, or seeking advice about children (even if you don't need the advice). If you have children yourself you could start by saying something about one of your children then ask if she had any children.
2007-03-14 02:45:49 · answer #3 · answered by Ashleigh L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never!
It is not our business if someone is "fertile" or not. If she had a miscarriage or lost a child after birth, you wouldn't want to remind her of that, would you? If they oppose having children, you may receive a very cold, sarcastic reply.
It is in our best interest to never ask about children, medication, finances, taxes or age. Play it safe and wait until they volunteer the information. If you start with your family, they may be prompted to share their info with you then.
2007-03-14 02:27:14 · answer #4 · answered by joe_on_drums 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think it is polite for you to ask that question unless she brings it up beforehand. It is rather personal, and some people might find it intrusive. Stick to safe subjects. When both of you have gotten to know each other better, maybe she'll open up and confide in you without you having to ask.
2007-03-13 18:48:07 · answer #5 · answered by shaunarthur 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is O.K. People love to talk about their children. If she is your co-worker has she mentioned her children in casual conversation before?
2007-03-13 18:46:25 · answer #6 · answered by chris j 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Surely it's very polite to ask such questions. Do ask politely and you will get the answer as you expect.
2007-03-13 18:40:11 · answer #7 · answered by nimesh 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first question should be if she has kids. Something as simple as "Any kids?" If yes, she'll volunteer whatever information she's comfortable sharing.
2007-03-13 18:42:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she mentions her children it would be okay to ask how many she has.
2007-03-13 18:41:48 · answer #9 · answered by bernel1403 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how do you know she has children just because she is married? that's a totally sexist thing to assume!
2007-03-13 18:41:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋