I have been having this problem when it comes to guys that I meet. They never seem to want my friendship, only a romantic relationship. I am not interested and make it clear from the begginning that I only want to be friends yet they continue to hold on to hope that we can be more then that, then eventually they ask me out, I say no, and they wont speak to me again and act as if I lied to them and led them on. Is there any way to avoid this?
2007-03-13 18:31:40 · 8 answers · asked by wilma 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
* hand raise* same here....
I have more guy friends and girls friends. And there is always someone having a crush for me and bla bla bla.
you don't led them on, because you make it clear in the begining
the solution: get use to that.
cause one day it will happen to you...
and you will know there is nothing that you can do with that...
it's them, they make a choice... after when they make the declaration, they leave cause they cant face the 'failure'
so just live with it. anyway people come and go in our lives...
take care!
2007-03-13 18:40:50 · answer #1 · answered by Gardenia 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sally: We are just going to be friends, OK?
Harry: Great, friends. It's the best thing...You realize, of course, that we can never be friends.
Sally: Why not?
Harry: What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape, or form - is that men and women can't be friends, because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally: That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: No, you don't.
Sally: Yes, I do.
Harry: You only think you do.
Sally: You're saying I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry: No, what I'm saying is they all want to have sex with you.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: They do not.
Harry: Do too.
Sally: How do you know?
Harry: Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally: So you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive.
Harry: No, you pretty much want to nail them, too.
Sally: What if they don't want to have sex with you?
Harry: Doesn't matter, because the sex thing is already out there, so the friendship is ultimately doomed, and that is the end of the story.
Sally: Well, I guess we're not gonna be friends, then.
Harry: Guess not.
Sally: That's too bad. You were the only person that I knew in New York.
An amendment:
...They can't be friends...unless both of them are involved with other people. Then they can. This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted. That doesn't work either. Because what happens then is the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with, like it means something is missing from the relationship and wanted to go outside to get it. Then when you say, 'No, no, no, no, it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship,' the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are - I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it - which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.
2007-03-13 18:39:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you find them the least bit attractive don't even try the "let's be friends" bit. Because nine out of ten times you without knowing it could be sending mixed signals. Usually if the guy is great enough to be a friend a woman ends up wanting him for something more. Find women for your friends and let the guys off the hook.
2007-03-13 18:42:57 · answer #3 · answered by Hillia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are guys they want more than just friendship. That's just the way most guys are. There are no real ways to save a friendship really if a guy wants more and u don't. SORRY
2007-03-13 18:35:42 · answer #4 · answered by Lauren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys are stupid - you just wanna be friends with them but they'll take advantage of the friendship and make a move and risk it all just to "get with you" - i think there's no way to avoid but be prepared - when you have a feeling that he just doesn't wanna be friends just say, "we're cool, right? well just to let you know, i'm not into guys hitting on me...blah blah blah, etc..." just be straight up with them from the start
2007-03-13 18:38:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe they are attractive to you in more than one way. If your personality is one that makes them see you in a different way, and like you even more maybe it is a good thing or maybe you are doing something unconsciously that makes them becoming more and more attracted to you.
2007-03-13 18:36:24 · answer #6 · answered by Breann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men have primal instinct, sex is always a priority, not always a relationship but male ego has to score to feel like a man, just stick to your guns and you will find a true male friend
2007-03-13 18:35:49 · answer #7 · answered by astronurd2004 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have that same problem, girl, if you wanna share stores, message me.
if you live in california, we should be bff
2007-03-13 18:36:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋