My husband and I threw my son a birthday party. My mother in law asked me if my son could go ahead and open gifts. I said "I would like for him to do it when everyone is done eating." She said well let him open this because so and so is leaving so i said fine. I went to the restroom when i returned she had allowed him to open half the gifts. I felt like she was taking control the entire time but i did nothing trying not to offend anyone. My husband then asked his mother to have a seat, enjoy being a guest and to let us do the work so then his parents left because of that comment. My mother in law then stated that I threw a very un-organized party and that it was not planned well at all. I feel like they wouldn't give me a chance. Now the entire family will not speak to my husband and I and somehow this is all my fault. Would you be upset be upset by my husbands comment to his mother? If you were me would you be upset for her taking over and then blaming the crazyness on me?
2007-03-13 18:06:15 · 18 answers · asked by J&A 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
can you say bitchy control freak? Man, your mother in law had no right to do that, its your son's birthday and you are his mother, you have the power to control the tempo/schedule of the party. They are in the wrong, don't worry about it.
2007-03-13 18:11:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not only would I be upset I would be so angry that that the rest of the family even got involved! Your mother in law has no buisness doing anything at that party except be a guest. Your husband was right to ask her to sit and enjoy the party. If I was you I would call your mother in law and tell her that you will not apologize for her being upset and if she felt that your party was so un-organized than perhaps she shouldn't attend the next one! Let her know that she is being petty and childish and if she cannot keep her comments to herself then the only one that is going to miss out is your son. He deserves to have his family act like a family! Tell them to grow up!!
2007-03-13 18:41:00 · answer #2 · answered by JENNIFER C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A couple of questions for you, if I may?
First, who was the birthday party for? Second, whose son is he?
I personally didn't see anything offensive in the way your husband handled his mother -- it rather showed a lot of tact to me. The only offensive people I see here are the husband's family, if you don't mind me saying. They didn't respect you or your husband's wishes and they and the other members of the family showed the maturity of a child younger than your son when they got all mad about it and now will not speak to you.
You have nothing to be sorry for, in my opinion. They are mad because you and your husband politely-but-firmly stood your ground? I say let them be mad -- they will get over it later once they realize how foolish they have been.
Bottom line is, it is your son and it was his party -- you have the right to do things as you wish and they have the choice to either be happy guests or to leave if they cannot be.
2007-03-13 18:28:27 · answer #3 · answered by calledkevinalot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I would'nt be upset. It is your house and your sons party. I have had to tell my in-laws to back off several times. It causes problems but after 10 years I have gotten to the point where I just don't care what there problems are. I love my husband and I have told him that if they don't like me that is there loss. There are still allot of problems and allot of times his family does'nt speak to me but I just keep on with my life and when things get real bad I let them know it. I don't have any real solutions I can only tell you what I do. At least she is'nt trying to break up your marriage and turn your kids against you. I have been dealing with that for 10 years. Keep your chin up and remember that it is your house and your family and you are entitled to do what you want in your own surroundings and she is hyper-sensitive about things and looking for a fight. Good Luck.
2007-03-14 06:32:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it happened exactly as you say, I think your husband did a very mature thing to try to get his mom out of control without embarrassing her. His parents didn't handle it well, and you should pat yourself on the back for throwing a nice party for your son, and give your husband a kiss for standing up to his family in a kind but firm manner.
2007-03-13 18:21:46 · answer #5 · answered by callmeplayfair 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All the planning in the world will not make something go off without a hitch. Sounds to me like your in-laws are a bit over bearing. I would not be mad about what was said...in fact I would have still told her no about the first gift. Who cares if so and so is leaving...guess they should have thought about that.
The party is for the kid not the in-laws...if they don't like it...they don't have to come next time. :)
2007-03-13 18:10:41 · answer #6 · answered by ~Just A Girl~ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's got to be more to this story. Nobody's that psychotic. Wait-my aunt is. Your mother in law completely overreacted and if they're going to act that way, then I suggest you just let them. Sooner or later they will miss their grandson. If other family members ask, tell them exactly what happened, but don't insult the parents. They'll come around.
2007-03-13 18:11:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It was YOUR party for YOUR son. She asked for one gift and you said yes. She had no right to let him open more than that. You already stated when he was going to open the rest. She overstepped her boundaries. I don't see anything that you or your husband did wrong, and you have every right to be upset. Your husbands family will come around once they calm down from their overreacting.
2007-03-13 18:11:18 · answer #8 · answered by my_own_frog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like something my mother-in-law would do. She thinks of herself as more of a mom to my step-son than I am. She doesn't respect our way of parenting and tries to run things her way. Tell your husband you're proud of him for standing up for you two as parents. Just lay low. Things will blow over with the rest of the family with time. I mean, they have to know how she is anyways, right?
2007-03-13 19:38:53 · answer #9 · answered by Lyzz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we both know there mother in law from hell and heaven. You should be proud of your husband to put you first and respect you enough to tell his mother to sit down. inretun you should call your mother in- law . and ask her to tell you why she is upset and your willing to apologies this way your husband can have peace of mind toward his mother. and his lovely wife. I found that when it come to mother in law and father in law. both party a husband and wife have to deal with the other family black sheep. It make life easy that way. especially with these old folks. good luck.
2007-03-13 19:54:41 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋