ex-boyfriend troubles...?

Question

Not like a story nobody else has heard but I would love some opinions and help.
So, yeah...I'll lay it out pretty straight. My xboyfriend cheats on me then dumps me a month later. Says he still wanted to be friends and everything and wants things to be "how it used to be" before we really started dating...Which was pretty much flirting. So, I tell him I want some time for myself and haven't called him back since. So, yesterday morning he gives me a call saying how he misses me and wants to be friends. Also, how he thinks I'm being selfish because I haven't called him in over a month. We talked for about 10 minutes and that was it. So today, I was like okay fine...my friends invite me out and he's there. He acts nice at first but of course his friend has to ask "why don't you want to go back out with her?" He just says he doesn't want to...then the guy asks me if I was sad, I said "no." So he gives his two cent's in saying "oh so those tears you cried were just fake right?"

And so I was just like "wow you're a F** asshole you know that." Tell me how to deal with my xboyfriend. I know I'm seeing him this Saturday at a party and I don't know whether to just tell him to not talk to me or just act like everythings peachy keen which I have been doing... I'm ready to just flip on him though he's really starting to get on my nerves...and I know these head games he's trying to play with me. Someone just give me some advice...It would really be appreciated.

I'm asking for advice and how to deal with him if people aren't sure what I'm asking here.

Thanks for all your help and support. You all have really opened my eyes to the real deal...thanks again!

Answer 1

tell everyone hes got a small one

Answer 2

It won't be easy, but you really need to just cut him out of your life, at least for a while. Delete his number from your phone, etc. You said in your post that you need time to yourself, so don't let him talk you out of it! Don't get caught up in a battle of insults. Get some support from your girlfriends. Go out, have fun, flirt with some new guys. It's unreasonable to expect you'll ever be friends with him again (which you seem to acknowledge), especially after what he's done to you. Just be strong and don't let him butt into your life if you don't want him there (I'm not saying avoid all parties where both you and he are invited, but you don't have to pick up your phone if he calls. Is there anything he can say or do at this point that will make you think well of him again? Very unlikely. So cut your losses and cut him lose completely).

I wish you the best of luck...I'm sure this is rough (and exes can be crazy sometimes). I hope this helps (if nothing else, a little emotional support...you deserve better than him)!

Answer 3

You don't need advice. You already see the big picture. You already know he hasn't learned anything and if there was a new relationship with him, he wouldn't be any different. The real question is to what extent do you want to wipe that smirk off of his face.

Lowest level would mean you make a scene at the party and say in no uncertain terms that he still needs to grow up and you are not his "Mommy"

Highest level is to get a martial arts dude to take you to the party and kick his a** if he so much as looks your way.

Well, you shouldn't go with the martial arts dude cause that would make an enemy for life. On the other hand, he would look pretty neat flying in the air. But, no, I hate to bust that fantasy. Tell him that you used to want to be mentally challenged, then you hung with him. Now, you're cutting way back and trying to quit.

Drop him babe.

Answer 4

Just go to the party and enjoy yourself. Don't ignore and don't go out of your way to speak either. Be the BIGGER person. If you make eye contact wave and say hello or if he approaches you - just say hello and continue on with having a good time with your friends. If he in any way starts acting frustrated or inappropriate - just advise him that this is not the right time and place, but don't drop to his level of behavior to make him feel important.

Regarding the "fake tears episode," - if it comes up again just be honest. We are all entitled to be upset at a moment and to shed some tears, but to linger about is not healthy. You know from your own words that he's playing games - he has already proven it, and you have decided not to play anymore. STICK TO YOUR GUNS! Most men who've acted badly like to believe they can still control you, even after the relationship is over. So prove to yourself that you're not one to be controlled before, during or after a relationship ends. TRUST - he will quickly get the point and maybe learn a valuable lesson in the process.

Answer 5

Ew. Who does this guy think he is?

Ignore him completely. If he wanted you back so badly then he shouldn't have act all Mr. Hotshot in front of everyone. He lost his chance if there even was any at that moment. Do not take him back unless he is the last man on the planet. If anything was fake, it is him. HE IS FAKE! and he has no right to speak on your behalf of such an old relationship.

Go to that party. Enjoy yourself as much as you want as the free-spirited singleton you are. Check out some other hotties that are nicer & better than he is.

Ignore him & don't bother to answer his call. He is a waste of time & not to mention cell phone minutes that could be used on better guys for you.

You have moved on. So, party on!
You deserve better than this.

Answer 6

hear i'm having a similar problem. The ex's continuously come crawling returned on the incorrect time, do no longer they? I advise i guess you needed for weeks after the smash up which you may get returned at the same time yet he in no way referred to as or something. properly it relies upon on how plenty you nonetheless like your ex. Cuz it is not honest on your cutting-edge boyfriend to nonetheless have emotions for an ex. so in case you're gonna stay alongside with your boyfriend make certain you lose all touch alongside with your ex. I advise you re gonna think of which you men can nonetheless be acquaintances. even though it is not gonna be good if he nonetheless has emotions for you. except of path your boyfriend trusts you sufficient to aid you men carry close out. only think of approximately who you rather want.

Answer 7

Emily,
Boy, I'll tell ya', the world never changes, does it? No sweat. Here's the low down: lots of men want to have their cake and eat it, too. They want to do what they want to do, but they want to have someone to fall back on so they don't have to be alone. Don't be sucked into it.
A good rule of thumb is: " You chose to leave. That's the end of it." Then don't back down.
That situation builds your strength to create the life that you deserve. To back down is to say you don't deserve that life -that you only deserve what scraps are handed to you. That unleashes an avalanche of low self-esteem, and eventually self-loathing. It also teaches the man that it's okay to use women. He learns he can cheat, leave you, and come back at will -with no consequences. The only consequence which will work for both of you is to end it now, and leave it that way.
As to his friend, who cares what he thinks. If you cried, yeah, it hurts even when a cad leaves. That's human. To feel nothing is sociopathic. He doesn't make the rules. He doesn't even understand them! Dust your hands of him, too. He doesn't have your best interests at heart. It really sounds like he's testing you to see how easily you can be manipulated.
Hold out for what is BEST for you, then you will create it.

Answer 8

hi.. from what all you have described, it all seems that he is just interested in keeping you with him cause he isn't able to overcome his memories of times together. And a person who shows no respect for feelings of other person has no place .... Pls stay away from him . Give it stright to him that you are no longer interested in meeting or seeing him as everything is over. As to you please find some activity to keep you busy. You need to get out of this relationship mentally , rest all will be taken care of automatically.

Also if you continue relation with him, no sooner things will go back to square back one...

So just stop whatever is going on and start a fresh new life...

Answer 9

hie
i am sorry to say that did not give details
when go with him on dating did you do something with him i mean any other sexual relations if not then did he tried to do something extra if no then you are making a mistake he is not a bad person and the most probably you are wrong boys did not cry easily like girls tears does not came out
may be he is in love with you there are some tests also that will prove you you are making a mistake

Answer 10

I would ignore him. I'd also make him feel like an *** as much as possible. Flirt with other guys. Laugh. Just have fun as if he isn't even there. If he messes with you just tell him, you want to still have time away from him and until he can be mature enough to be just friends you don't want to deal with him and all his drama.

That is what I would do.

Answer 11

Tell him that you need your space and that you wish he would respect that. Tell him when you are ready to talk to him then you will. Just because you are at the same party or in the same room or city does NOT mean you have to be glued to his side. If he doesn't get the hint then ignore him until you know what you want.