I have a 19 month old who has been misbehaving a lot lately. She knows what "no" means but when i tell her no she only stops doing what she is doing momentarily and then goes at it again. I try not to tell her "no" a lot, unless she is doing something that she may get hurt. what ive done lately is pick her up and hold her and tell her she is in time out. i hold her because i have sat her down somewhere and told her that and she smiles and thinks its funny. I only hold her for a minute or less but she absolutely hates it (only when she is in timeout) and it usually is effective. do you think it is too early for time outs? how would you handle a misbehaving toddler?
2007-03-13 16:35:29 · 8 answers · asked by krystal 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Well, generally the rule is one minute per year of age, which breaks down to 5 seconds per month. 19 months x 5 seconds would be 95 seconds or 1 minute 35 seconds.
I wouldn't hold her because she is getting your undivided attention that way, even if she seems not to like it and it is negative attention.
I think you are on the right track by minimizing how often you have to say "no" to her -- hearing "no" all the time can desensitize a child to its effect.
But really, only you know your child and whether or not she is ready for time-outs. I think I heard somewhere that they aren't ready until they are 2 or 3, but I used them with my daughter at about 20-21 months and they were effective at that age for her. Every child is different of course, so that's why I say that only you know your own child and whether or not she is ready.
If she thinks it's funny, try to make sure you are keeping it as unpleasant as possible. Make it very clear through your tone of voice (low and authoritative), facial expressions, and body language that you are unhappy with her behavior and that it is unacceptable. Choose a "naughty spot" and use it every time. Make sure this spot is NOT in the center of all the activity in the room or where she can see the TV or anything like that. The effective part about this punishment is that she doesn't get to play or even SEE activities and play around her. That's why it's important that she is facing the corner of the room or something very boring, like the back of a couch. Another thing I always did with my daughter, even at this young age, is I talked to her after her time was up. I made sure I reminded her of why she had to sit there, then I required her to apologize to whomever she offended (often it would be to me for not listening, but sometimes to the cat for pulling on his tail or to her little brother for hitting or taking a toy away). There's a lot of controversy around whether or not you should require a child to apologize whether or not they are "feeling" sorry, but my viewpoint is that it is a matter of teaching a socially acceptable behavior -- when you bump into someone, you apologize immediately, don't you? You don't wait to think about whether or not you truly feel sorry. It's like saying "excuse me" when you burp or "thank you" when someone gives you something. So I try to teach that to my children, and so far it has been effective.
If you try this and decide she is too young after all, try this: 1)say "NO", 2) remove her from the location of the unwanted behavior, and 3) distract her quickly with another activity. You can always try the time-outs again in a month or two if you think she is ready then.
Good luck!
2007-03-13 17:00:51 · answer #1 · answered by calliope_13731 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't use timeouts. At this age redirection is the best way to deal with the inquisitive and experimental nature of a toddler. I just read this article today.
http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/peter_haiman.html
Quite the eye opener.
2007-03-13 23:48:20 · answer #2 · answered by Terrible Threes 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
short time outs may work at her age. also distract, distract, distract. if a "no" gets her attention, use that brief moment to offer her something else, more suitable to do. also i advise explaining in easy to understand terms that "you cannot do that because you may get hurt, etc. and i love you so i dont want you to get hurt" you CAN do either this or that. which do u want to do?"
of course use your own words. always offer 2 acceptable things to do other than the unacceptable thing she is doing, and explain why. with consistancy she will begin to understand the concepts of acceptable and unacceptable behaviour! you 2 are a team, not you against her. guide her with this mindset, a team mindset; and you are the leader of the team; you are the mature and wise adult.
2007-03-13 23:47:12 · answer #3 · answered by greatceasarsghost 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Never too early for time outs. At 19 months 30 seconds to a minute is long enough. Just keep reminding her that she is being kept in time out because her behavior was bad or she broke a rule. She will begin to understand. She's testing you to see what you will do. I'm mom to 3.
2007-03-13 23:40:38 · answer #4 · answered by Melanie A 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well my nephew is almost 3 and we tried time out with him with no luck. I learned from nanny 911, (great show for parents) that you should keep kids in time out for as long as their age. Your child is 19 mo, so keep her in time out for 1 min. Also try using a kids chair to place her in for her time out and make sure it is in an area that is boring to her, with no toys. We do this with my nephew with great results. 3 min and a few tears later he's back to being a good boy.
2007-03-13 23:44:40 · answer #5 · answered by newmom 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She needs a play group and to work off that energy take her out walking and to the park. She needs to watch other children minding authority.
2007-03-13 23:44:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The younger the better works for me. They tend to catch on quicker by routines, and they are malleable at that stage.
2007-03-13 23:45:00 · answer #7 · answered by chris 2k 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
that's about the right age for time out (: watch super nanny!
2007-03-13 23:46:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋