How would you raise children Pagan/Wiccan without them getting picked on in school?

Question

This is a tough one. Our town has about 300 children in its only elementary school. They are almost all Christian (although, interestingly enough, our high school valedictorian for 2006 was Wiccan).

Feel free to try to save my soul if you must, but answers from other Pagan parents would be more helpful.

Yo! Who said anything about Satan?!

Answer 1

It is true that children will indeed pick on other children no matter what measures you take to safeguard them. I don't know how old your children are but they seem quite young. My approach would be to avoid labels at all costs. Instead of raising them to be "Pagan/Wiccan", simply raise them with the same beliefs that you hold dear to you. It really isn't as important that they know they are Pagan/Wiccan as it is that they know and understand the laws of the universe and it's natural order.

As a Christian Witch (NEVER accepted by mainstream Christians and even rarely by Pagans), it is important to me that my children have, what I believe to be, the secrets of the universe. However, putting the same socially taboo label on them that I have chosen for myself, seems too much pressure at too young an age. By the time I fully disclose my path to them, not only will they be better able to handle persecution, they will have a full understanding of what it means to be both Pagan and Christian.

Brightest blessings to you! You will be in my prayers.

Answer 2

That IS a tough one.

Me, I'm neither Christian nor pagan, I won't bore you with the details as to that but I do have some experience with this kind of thing.

In addition to having been raised in a small bible belt town with a "minority" faith, I was once involved in a case in which a wiccan grandmother was the guardian of her grandchild. A bunch of idiots in Liberty County, Texas were trying to remove the kid from her custody. One of these boobs claimed to have found a letter in which she mentioned a planned vacation to San Francisco over Samhain and decided that she meant to sacrifice the kid to Satan. (No, really, they were serious) The letter was lost by the time of trial, so they were able to make up just about anything they wanted.

The Judge and County Attorney were looking at an election and played it up for all they were worth. It was disgusting, but the woman eventually prevailed when the CPS finally screwed up the courage to tell those two to flake off.

I have to tell you the truth. Your kid is going to get picked on. Being different always gets a kid picked on. In a town that small, he won't be able to hide what he is and he won't be able to avoid being labeled by some. I would think that if he did try to hide it in a town where everybody knows him, the situation would only be made worse. You'll just have to be vigilant and work with the administration. The fact that you had a wiccan valedictorian is a ray of hope. It might make a difference. If he's lucky, WHO he is may become more important than WHAT he and his mother are.

Answer 3

As a soon-to-be Pagan parent, myself, I would say don't have your child hide it per se, just don't have them make it out to be a big deal or advertise it, know what I mean?

There was a TV segment about a Wiccan woman and her family. She lived in a small town in Massachusetts, so it was hard not to notice she was Wiccan because she did many public services. The kids went to school wearing their pentacles stuffed inside theirs shirts and apparently it helped deter any negative responses. The kids also had quite a few friends whos' parents were very open-minded.

I wish I could give a better answer, but I live in a big city where people tend to be more open-minded.

Good luck and blessed be!

Answer 4

Children will get picked on for whatever can be percieved as different. Gay, Lesbian, Transgendered, small, large, glasses, braces, big nose .... whatever.

The point is to raise children who are confident. As a Wiccan or Pagan, the important thing is that they know their faith and are able to defend their position with respect toward other viewpoints.

Without knowledge, and unprepared, a child can be hurt. This is because they are weak in their own faith, and can experience fear. Of course, many Christians might tell them that they are going to hell because they are witches. If your children know the truth, then such attacks can be parried. It's likely that the ersatz christian tormentors know a great deal less about their own faith than will your children.

It's much more difficult to assault (verbally or otherwise) a confident individual. One needs to remember that confidence and arrogance are quite distinct things. Let your children know their roots but remind them that no-one is better or worse simply because of what they believe.

I tell my daughters to have their own faith, and to believe it, but to never get to the point where they believe that because they are right, that everyone else must necessarily be wrong.

You might want to check out the Spiral Scouts as well. It is a fabulous alternative to the heavily Christian influenced other scouting programs.

Blessings,

--Dee

Answer 5

I grew up in a small Texas town that was dominated by Christian beliefs. Like what you described we where a AAA school meaning we had about 300 people in our school.

The best advice I can give rings true with some other things people have said.

1. Teach them to be confident in their beliefs explain to them about other religions and what they are going to say to your child.
2. Teach them not to broadcast their faith as others do because that is not our way. At the same time teach them not to hide what they believe in, if asked, then answer.
3. Remember your going to have to step into school over this at some point in your child's school life. Be it to protect their rights or be it to batter back those that would try to call you a bad parent.
4. Lead by example in everything you do, unlike Christians we do not have the leave way of being part of the "norm".
5. Make sure your child is active in as much school activity as possible and make sure they have some of the best grades.
6. Hold them and teach them when they come home hurt by words.
7. Send them to self defense (remember like spells this is a last resort!)

Answer 6

Hormoth has the right idea. But no one need know anything unless they are asked. We do not advertise it as many Christians do. But regardless of anything kids will find something to tease or pick on them about. If you say they are Wiccans or witches the other kids will probably think it is cool, but will want them to do tricks (which of course they can't). The other children will probably not condemn them but their parents will! In my mind I think the best thing to do is make sure they understand their own religion very well and are knowledgeable about others as well.
BB
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Answer 7

well I'm not a parent, but i am a Wiccan. when i finally have children i plan on raising them Wiccan and i won't stop them from telling people but i won't encourage them to scream it from the roof tops. if my child/children get picked on too much in school the i was home schooled a little and loved it so i would try that.and then just tell them life gets better you'll find somewhere wear people won't care that your Wiccan.

Answer 8

Instead of handing them a ready-made label, we are teaching our boys to revere the earth, other people, animals, plants etc. We are teaching them respect and empathy and letting them learn about religion in a neutral way. We teach them about each religion as it presents itself, not as we see it and we encourage people of other faiths to talk with our kids. There are two rules, no "right" mentioned, and no Hell or damnation of any kind. That way they enter school (although we may decide to homeschool them, public school produces some real twits) without a label. We assume that if they go to school child protection services will show up at some point but we can only give them the tools they need for life, we can't save them from living.

Answer 9

I'm sorry, but I don't think that you should.

I strongly believe that every human being has the right to make his own decisions. I plan to raise my future children free from religion, but I will educate them. I will read them from the Bible, from the Quran and I will teach then about pagan Gods.

I believe it is our duty to raise our children as thinking souls, who will be ready to pick their own religion as soon as they feel they are old enough to do so.

I'm an atheist btw, so maybe not the best person to answer this question. But I wish the whole world would raise their children like I intend to do.

Sorry to butt in, I hope I didn't offend you. And I do see your problem about having to raise a child in a society that is drenched in a bucket filled with one single God. Raising all our children with the liberty of abling them to make their own decision is the only solution to that.

Answer 10

My mom was and still is a Wiccan and my dad is Catholic and it is a weird combination, but for me, my parents raised me normal and they told me to be open and be positive towards people and spells and magic was the last resort and they led by positive examples and they raised me up normal. A lot people believe that we dress up in black, and for myself I dress up like normal people do on the street. For me, I can say that my parents taught me to be open and stand up in what I believe in by being reasonable and spells are the last resort and I am a happy normal human being getting a degree in a local university. They taught me both about the religion of wicca and the Catholic Church and there are a things that are alike in both religions and we celebrated holidays for both religions and still do even to this day.