I'm concerned that my brother and his wife are abusing their children. First off, they fight all the time and use profanity in front of their three small children (18 months, 5 & 6). They tend to handle the children very rough, even the way she plays with the kids is very rough. Often he disconnects, just gets on the computer and smokes. Recently, they had a physical fight (not the first time) in front of the children. They have been to counseling before but are far from being "healed" and have no plans I know of to go back.
I realize the kids are in a bad, abusive situation. I realize something has to be done, but I know if action (i.e. Chidren's Services) is taken and the kids are taken away it could result in foster care, and that could be its own nightmare. But if I report them and my family finds out, it could cause some major rifts. I'm just looking for some advice right now. Thank you.
2007-03-13 16:22:15 · 7 answers · asked by Tom J 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
have you tryed talking to your mom and dad about this ???
2007-03-13 18:38:01 · answer #1 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from someone who knows from experience.If nothing is done about the behavior of the parents in front of the children they will grow up to live the same lives that they see their parents living.They will exhibit the same attitudes,behavior patterns and dysfunctional life style they witness everyday from their parents.It's so sad I know and I agree that foster care isn't always the answer (I was abused in a foster home as well) so maybe you could offer to take care of the children if you decide to do something about it and call child protective services.Those children are helpless and defenseless and needs somebody,anybody to stick up for them and protect them from so much abuse and heart ache.Please do something to help them even if it means you might suffer from it in the process.You at least can verbally defend your actions but they can't defend themselves at all.And in the future they might just thank you for it.I know if anyone had intervened on my behalf and saved me I would have been eternally grateful to them but no one did so I suffered a miserable childhood because of it.
2007-03-13 17:03:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, they wouldn't necessarily be put into foster care. You could offer to take the kids yourself when you "find out" about DCFS being called. DCFS is anonymous if you want it to be, so no one would find out that you were the caller unless you told them. If you truly think the kids are abused or neglected in any way, then it is your duty to report your brother and his wife. When you find out from your brother or mother or someone else that they were reported, let your brother know (if you are comfortable doing so) that you would be happy to take the kids if they are being removed so that they don't have to go to foster care. They always try to place the kids with relatives before sending them to foster care.
2007-03-13 16:28:45 · answer #3 · answered by Sit'nTeach'nNanny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most of the foster homes are already full and child services will contact family members to ask if they can take the children. (ex boyfriend went thru it with his youngest and her sister took her, then her aunt took her , then her grandmother took her, then a foster home was found 200 miles away).
remember, if you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem.
let me ask you a question; why haven't you gone over there to snatch up those kids, yet?
what's worse: your brother being mad at you or those kids being killed by him? maybe not today, but the way they are being raised, what kind of adulthood do you see for them?
2007-03-14 02:09:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as it breaks your heart (and mine and I don't even know them) I think it's best to keep Child Services out of it. Unless it's an extreme life-threatening issue such as drug use, neglect, or abusing the children, not much can be done. Try to discuss it with them with no other party involved.
2007-03-13 16:29:21 · answer #5 · answered by caffeinatedmom2 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you talked to them about it? If you haven't maybe you and other concerned family members could speak to them about the issues you have raised. They may then realize how much they are hurting their family and hopefully would work on a positive outcome.
2007-03-13 16:32:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to them face to face, and say to them "What are you doing? There's no reason to any of this. All You Need Is Love!"
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2007-03-13 16:31:54 · answer #7 · answered by Nabutso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋