know any good blonde jokes?

Question

There's a blonde at my school that I like to tell blonde jokes to. Don't worry she doesn't know she's being insulted.

Answer 1

Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the blonde guard, 'Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?'

The guard replies, 'They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.'

'That's an awfully exact number,' says the tourist. 'How do you know their age so precisely?'

The guard answers, 'Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago!'

Answer 2

There were 2 blonde girls inside a car driving on the highway. They were talking, and then they drive by a feild. In the middle of the feild there was another blonde inside a canoe, desperately trying to paddle her way out of the feild thinking that she was in the middle of water. The first blonde says 'its people like her that give smart blondes a bad name!' the second blonde says 'i know! if i knew how to swim i would paddle over there and teach her a lesson!'

There was a blonde, an american, and a russain (i think). They were all talking one day about great acheivements they have made. The russian says 'we were the first to discover the moon!' (i think its a russian.. im not sure, so im makin it up XD) The american says 'yeah, well were the first to set foot on it!' The blonde says 'yeah, well were GONNA be the first to set foot on the sun!' the american and russian look at eachother and then laugh. 'You cant go to the sun, you'll just burn up!' says the russian. 'Psh,' says the blonde, 'Were not stupid! We'll go at night!'

Answer 3

There was a burning skyscraper with a hundred blondes and a brunette. Everyone manages to hang on to one rope that will lead them down to safety, but the rope can only hold a hundred people and it's starting to strain- so one person has to let go to save the others. The brunette says "You're all blonde and beautiful, I'll let go so that you all can live."
And all the blondes clapped.

Answer 4

I'm a blonde myself! Here are just a few, I know more, but I cant think of them now...

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
-Pull the pin out and throw it back.

What do you do when you see a one-armed blonde hanging from a tree?
-Wave.

How do you kill a blonde?
-Put a scratch 'n sniff at the bottom of the pool

Answer 5

10 blondes and 1 brunnete survived a crash, and were hanging on a phone line wayyyyyyy up. it was getting kinda heavy, and one of em had to go down, which ment they would die. after 10 minutes of arguing, the brunnette anounced that she will go. Touched by the speech... the blondes started to clap. Problem solved..

Answer 6

Ok...
A guy is mowing his lawn outside and all of a sudden he hears his neighbors door open. A blonde steps out goes to her mail box, opens it, and yells in disgust. She storms back into her house and the guy mowing his lawn is like "whatever". A few minutes later he sees her come out again, go to the mail box, open it and again she yells in disgust. The man walks over to her and asks her what she was doing. "I was sitting at my computer when all of a sudden I heard a voice say 'You've got mail'"

Answer 7

why is there lipstick all over the blondes steering wheel?
she was trying to blow the horn.

Why do blondes where hoop earrings?
So they will have a place to rest their ankles.

hope these help have alot more but most are too long

Answer 8

there are TONS on ahajokes.com

click the blonde jokes category
there are hundreds

i tell em to my blonde friends all the time

Answer 9

i have some but they are long...if u really wnat them u can mesage me or something