how do you let go?

Question

my father left my mother and I when I was very young, and as a result, I am extremely attached to my mother (she was the one consistent person in my life). I have the typical daughter issue of needing my mother's approval, and lately I am noticing I've taken it farther than I feel I should. I talk to her before I do anything to get her opinion. I won't even date someone she doesn't like - even if I really do like them. and if she is upset, I automatically feel depressed. I know this is a problem and I have struggled with it for quite some time. thing is, I know she doesn't WANT me to be like this. she is not a controling mother and she does not want to rule my life. she has said so, and demonstrated so, all throughout my life.

aside from this, I am a surprisingly independent woman. I am at a loss for what to do, so I'm hoping some blunt advice from strangers could knock some sense into me... or at least start me on the right path.

please tell me, how can I let go?

Answer 1

Actually, you may be showing a wisdom beyond your years. You did not state whether you live at home with mom or what your age is. I will assume you do live in your mom's house and that you are still under 18 years old.

By seeking your mom's opinions and advice, you are really showing how wise you are. She has lived it all before you have and she knows the hidden pitfalls that certain decisions present. It is far better for you, in many cases, to learn from the mistakes and/or experiences of others than to have to endure some of them yourself. That's smart!

When you move out and get your own place, I would advise you to continue to ask your mom for advice. You won't have to take it if you don't want to, but that is how we show respect for our parents and let them know that we do still need them. Sometimes parents can feel abandoned and lost when their kids move out. I am sure your mom will still want to hear from you , and she will feel like she is valued by you when you continue to seek her advice.

Remember not all wisdom is learned, some is inherited.

Answer 2

it is not ur mom but it is ur problem
u always go to her and ask her to make desicion for u
isin't it better u decide who u wanna go out with
it is juz a date not a date where u get married and have children with
it is juz a day u go and hang out with a boy instead of a girl
since ur from a broken family u have learn from the mistake and u can tell what makes a good man
so no worries ur too young not to go on a date
all the best girl
go out and meet other man that is better than ur dad
ur mom knew it too there is stull good man out there but v juz haven't meet one yet