He told me that when I tell him that he is "sexy" or "hot" it makes him uncomfortable because he knows that it is not true...I just don't know what to do...I just got over my self esteem issues with his instence and without his help I think I would still have those issues..Now I don't know what to do to help him.
2007-03-13 15:21:46 · 14 answers · asked by Christine 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
people with low self esteem don't like to hear good or bad things about themselves. it puts them in an akward position to deal with. so say less words about him, and show him more attention. do things for him that make him feel special, give him your full attention, ask him for advice, show him that you miss him when you are not together. these things will mean more to him than just words. good luck to you both.
2007-03-14 00:57:31 · answer #1 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same situation with my boyfriend! I've struggled with self-esteem issues for a long time, and he's finally helped me move past those for the most part but he still struggles to a degree. He's such a girl magnet but he refuses see it! What I've found works is instead of saying general things like "you're sexy" or "you're so hot", commenting on specific things and giving a reason after works the best. For instance, "I think your shoulders are sexy because they make you look so strong and make me feel safe." If I just say something generic like "sexy" or "hot" he says that I'm just saying it because I have to because I love him, but approach number two is succesful most of the time. I've also found that the longer we date(we've been together close to a year) the more his self-esteem has gone up. He has his especially low self-esteem moments, but I've found that it's best not to argue with him then and just move on. Be patient, his self-esteem will improve eventually, it just takes time and perseverance. Good luck :)
2007-03-13 15:39:03 · answer #2 · answered by justpeachee22 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In one sense, you say you are so picky over the type of woman you want...leading me to wonder just how low your self esteem is...is it really that low? Most people with severe low self esteem would not push others aside when friends are so desparately needed. I think you have too much time on your hands and should start thinking about the feelings of others for a change. I have read all of your questions, and very rarely do they concern anything but you you you....I do hope you get well..but it seems that you are letting others compliment and sooth you all day long and you are not doing anything beyond that to help yourself...it has to come from within. Stop feeling so sorry for yourself and decide to get up from there once and for all and move on.
2016-03-28 22:26:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every person will run along self esteem issues once in a while, some more than others. I don't know why you're boyfriend would feel uncomfortable if you called him sexy or hot. I personally wished that my girlfriends were kind enough to say that to me, although I'm confident enough that its not a necessary thing. But anway, what you should tell him is that he has no right to deny you the joy of calling him "hot or sexy" if that is what he is to you. Obviously, we all know that there is a sense of happiness and pleasure when you compliment the one you're close to and he is taking that away from you. Let him know that inconfidence is unattractive, that confidence is sexy. Girls want men who are confident in themselves. Not little boys who are insecure.
2007-03-13 15:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by pyroman162 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well first of all you should tell him what you genuine feel for him. then tell him what "hot" and "sexy" means to you. if to you it means the person is physically beautiful. then tell him what part him you think is sexy. it'll help to tell him why.tell of something he'll never even think of. for me this guy i love his eyelashes. his eyes aren't long but they just stand out to me. or if those terms mean to you a more deeper meaning. such as his personality is sexy. and to you it might mean that is a quality that stands out to you and makes you like wow and that is hot and sexy.
2007-03-13 15:35:41 · answer #5 · answered by esteffany 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My ex was like that... I figured, he only went out with me cuz he knew I would probably be his 1st and last gf... I always reminded him how seet he is. Tell your bf the same thing, and tell him that you look at him and think he is such a great guy.
2007-03-13 15:24:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have patience since you both suffered from the same issues, it takes some people longer than others to overcome their problems. Just be there for him & keep encouraging him. Good Luck.
2007-03-13 15:29:17 · answer #7 · answered by chevy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That can be tough to overcome. I have a lot of the same problems your bf is dealing with. Just try to be more subtle with him, and show him he has nothing to be ashamed of.
2007-03-13 15:28:58 · answer #8 · answered by hlind28 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him the truth always. Compliment him honestly- I love the way you smile for example. Tell him how much you love him and just hold him tight.
2007-03-13 15:26:23 · answer #9 · answered by phylobri 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
..you can bring him to attned occasion where you'll meet different kinds of people.. try your best to let him talk to strangers or to your friends that he doesn't know.. discover his strengths and help him emphasize in it.. sooner, he'll overcome that.. i was once like that until somebody let me realize i can do things better than somebody..
2007-03-13 15:29:36 · answer #10 · answered by nikka 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋