What do you think about my poem about crushes? I'm 13?

Question

Title: Crushes
Made by: katekitty
"This is a poem about crushes. How I experienced them and what I thought. What do you think?"


Crushes are hard,
Hard to figure out,
You always want to know,
what they are all about.

You sit and think for a moment,
Is this the right guy?
You get confused,
as you see him walk by.

Your heart pounds so fast,
You try to look attractive,
You try to look cool,
You feel very active.

You talk about them with your best friend,
This dreadful confusion, you want it all to end.
You try not to like him,
You just pretend.

Crushes are crushes,
You always think their interest lack,
But you never know,
Until they like you back.

Crushes are confusing,
You never know what to say,
until you experience them,
they come a long way.

-katekitty, 13 years old

I made this poem up on the spot, typing and thinking of what to type so. Please compliment me, and tell me things I need to improve on so I can do better in the future, thanks.

I research and I do alot.. I just know alot about guys but yet there is some things I don't know, i'm not stupid, that's all I can say :P

I'm a shy girl, I have had alot of crushes, but not too many.. =P

Answer 1

That's cool. Just thirteen and good writing skills. i stink at writing poems. Awesome.

wow, you did this right on te spot. Cool! I'm at a loss of words.

Answer 2

Wow! I'm in high-school and i think that was great. I edit a lot of stories for starter writers so here is a tip: Most people want to just do it. But you're not most people. Take time to edit, revise and make sure no stanza is much longer than another stanza. but make sure they are not much shorter either! Even though of this, you should know that you are a good poet!

try to edit one last time.... i'm sure it would be a 5 star poem!

Answer 3

the poem is good. especially for your age. the rhyme, for the most part is good, and you did an excellent job of explaining what a crush is like.

as far as things to work on...next time add more about the emotions that you feel. also, you did a good job with the repetition...(i.e. crushes are...crushes are), next time try throwing the key word in different parts of the phrase: for example:

crushes are nice and cozy and warm
when i am happy a crush can take form...

now thatsa bad phrase but u see what i mean about sticking the key word in dif spots..

very good job...keep it up

Answer 4

it rhymes good and the wording is ok but the flow of the poem is not good...you need a rythm and maybe figure out the syllables(the meter) in each line and on the rhyming lines keep them the same...it may sound hard but once your start writing with this format the poems will improve dramastically


hope you enjoyed the constructive criticism

Answer 5

Excellent.

You have some serious talent.
Only one point of criticism, which is mostly based on my own opinion. I'm not a huge fan of rhyming poems, basically because reading them inside your head sounds odd at times. But I know a lot of people who do like them.

Other than that, well done!
You get a cookie.

-AOS

Answer 6

I think that the poem is an opinion coming from my mind but its a cute but detalied poem for a 13 year old good job!

Answer 7

This is a very good poem simple but really true to the feelings of when your crushing on somebody.

Answer 8

Great! Im 13 too and i make stories only, i get bored of most poems

Answer 9

Very good writer for 13.Hope you're considering going to college.

Answer 10

I know it's early and I'm in a rush
But what really sucks is your poem crush
Of course it's from a rhyming sicko slob
girl what ya trying to do? Take my job?