My daughter tells lies sometimes, abut things that have not really happened, or to not get in trouble. Is this normal behavior, or should I be concerned?
2007-03-13 14:14:20 · 11 answers · asked by clarabel_s 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
yes, lol, most four year olds do lie. at 4, kids tend to think they can make an event true by stating that it is true. they need time to figure out how truth and lies work.
2007-03-13 14:24:34 · answer #1 · answered by Karl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children at that age are still figuring out "the truth." Sometimes they seem to think they can alter the thruth just by using words. It's pretty normal.
Don't try to "catch" your child. If you know something happened, say so. Don't ask about and try to catch your child in a lie. It's just disrespectful.
Let your child know that you value the truth and talk about the difference between the truth.
I think it's sad when a child lies to avoid getting in trouble. It tells me that the child has internalized the fear of punishment rather than a sense of right or wrong in the action itself. That is another reason why punishment, especially harsh punishment is really not effective in the long run. It can make children feel they have to lie to protect themselves.
Some of the "storytelling" kind of "lies" I just overlook. My little girl has a big imagination. Sometimes she tells stories as if they're true. I don't correct her. This is normal. Eventually, she'll get clearer on the difference between fantasy and reality. Right now, it's not that important as long as the "story" is not harmful to anyone.
2007-03-13 21:21:18 · answer #2 · answered by Kari 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry. It's completely normal. When I was four, I had no idea that lying was bad until my parents started punishing me for lying. You've got to tell your daughter that lying is bad and it can hurt a lot of people. If you don't, she will never know how bad it is and this will become a nasty habit.
Some ideas:
You should act out a skit in front of her (but she shouldn't be aware that it is acting) with your husband, boyfriend, friend, whoever and pretend to tell a lie that hurts someone else. Kids usually get it at that point and most kids grow to be afraid of lying because they're so innocent and don't want to hurt anybody.
Another way is to take away something of hers every time she lies. If she tells a lie, take away a stuffed animal for a short period of time until she confesses.
All in all, just try to install as many morals as you can into her head. Also, if she thinks you are going to go ballistic when she gets in trouble, she will definitely lie. So, make a pact with her that you will never get that angry to calm her down and keep her from lying (because if you're calm, why would she need to lie to keep from getting in trouble?).
2007-03-13 21:46:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is normal behavior for a child to fib but as a parent it is are job to still investigate certain tales (for one any sexual, physical or emotional abuse stories because those are always not lies.) You should also affirm to your child why they are getting punished and for how long, you may want to add that you still love them but as an adult you have to set limits for your daughters safety and well being.
FYI Brace yourself children often lie because they are afraid that they will lose mommy or daddy's love too not just because they are afraid of the punishment.
2007-03-13 21:41:36 · answer #4 · answered by calmlikeatimebomb 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very normal. She's just learned how to manipulate people and she's testing her boundaries as far as lying goes.
Remind her that it's not okay to tell stories that didn't happen, unless people know it's a made up story. (In which case, have her draw pictures and make a book out of it.)
Also, remind her that if she does something wrong, the punishment for that plus lying will be much worse than if she just tells the truth.
2007-03-13 21:38:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what do you consider a lie..my 4 1/2 yr old will tell me she has green hair then laugh and say "just joking" but if i do ask something i can tell if she is lying about it..i think it's normal at this age,they are still trying to figure things out and such
2007-03-13 21:47:48 · answer #6 · answered by charmel5496 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well--at her age--what she wishes could happen and what really ahs happened are not clear cut separate categories...her concept of reality is not set--you can gently correct her--but children have a vivid imagination--especially at that age--remind her of the importance of telling the truth but she may really be confused...wait and see how this plays out for her--if she lies about everything or only sometimes...again--she is still young--just gently remind her about what has happened...
2007-03-13 21:37:08 · answer #7 · answered by Shay 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding?? It's normal for every human being to lie. We all do it at some time or another, don't we? And most of us are older than four.
2007-03-14 20:26:55 · answer #8 · answered by frenchy62 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if they have some1 older like a big bro or sis
they will learn to lie faster
i made that mistake lol with my lil brother
i lied to him and then he started to always lie
2007-03-13 21:41:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son is 4 and he lies about only one thing. When I see him hit his sister and she cries I ask him if he hit her and he says no. I see him it her but he still says no. I tell him that I saw him but he still denies it.
2007-03-13 21:34:30 · answer #10 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋