Ok.....well lets see I am a 28 year old single mother with two boys (9 and 5) that I feel like I have no time for. I have two jobs and I am a full time student in college and I can't find the energy to play with my kids. Am I doing to much? Every thing I do is for my kids I want them to be able to go to a good college and make something out of there life. I want my boys to look up to me. But the biggest problem is.... How do I get the energy to play with my boys? They mean the world to me but I have no time for them. HELP!!!!!!!
2007-03-13 13:29:40 · 9 answers · asked by mommysgirl78 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The answer lies in your question--It is all your perception--We can all sit here and tell you you are a great mom or tell you you are a bad mother etc..That is all irrelevant--Your question says it all--you are doing wonderful things for your own and your boys futures--but you feel you are missing out on the NOW with them--and, guess what? the NOW--the present--is the only time we have guaranteed--that future time--who knows?...yes--continue with your good plans for a good life for all of you--but I think you want to make some changes so that you have MORE TIME for your boys NOW..if you are really ready to make changes--the opportunities will come to you-don't be afraid to let go of one situation for another--things will work out--you don't have to do everything at once and your time is the most precious gift you could ever give them...Again--this is not me telling you--this is what YOU seem to be saying from your question itself..make time for your boys NOW--it'll work out--Good Luck:)
2007-03-13 14:45:03 · answer #1 · answered by Shay 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to say you are a bad parent. I don't even know you. I just highly suggest you stop worrying so much about college and whatever. I know every parent would love for their children to succeed and go to college, but your kids are 9 and 5. When I was that age, school and college was the least on my mind. I would rather spend all my time with my parents when I was that age. I didn't start worrying about college until I was in high school.
Your kids are also going to be making their own decision to go to college. What would be best for them now is if you just spend time with them. I have seen a lot of parents make the mistake of working their child's life away. They buy them anything and everything they want to make up for it. Yet, the kids are still sad because money doesn't buy the love. and then when they are older, it's too late. You lost all that time. And then the parents usually then feel guilty. I'm not saying quit your job. Everyone needs to have a job and not live off of the government or whatever, but there are ways parents have time for their job, and still make sure they have time for their kids. They do that every day. So, it's not impossible.
I wish you luck. All children want at this age is their parents to play with them. I have an eight year old cousin who's mom spends all ger time working and when she's home, she's either too lazy to deal with her, or going out and having fun. She doesn't really get anyone to play with except on the weekends and it makes me feel guilty because she's all over me when I go to visit. Like she hasn't played in 10,000 years. Kids have a lot of energy. Don't let time pass without enjoying your kids. Before you know it, they will be grown.
2007-03-13 20:51:38 · answer #2 · answered by Annamarie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Possibly you could become a part time student? I know you are doing your best for them but let me ask you this, would you rather improve your education now or hold off and enjoy spending time with your kids while they are young? Believe me time goes so quickly when they are young and before you know it they will be grown and the time you could have had with them will be gone and you will never get it back. You have to decide what is more important to you and how you would feel in the future about the choices you've made.
2007-03-13 20:45:22 · answer #3 · answered by mama3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're a very dedicated and caring mother.
I know that sort of exhaustion (though mine is by choice, unlike yours which is by necessity)...
May I suggest that you TRY to find the time - GOOD LUCK! - to play with your boys? The thing they will remember the most in the future is not what you provided, the opprotunities you gave them, and so on, but the time you spend with them. THAT is where they will learn the most - especially about how to be MEN. I'm giving you a link to a cool article I love (It's from a Pagan point of view, but you can ignore those parts easily enough)...
You are doing good things. How close are you to graduating and being able to trade those two place-holding jobs for the new college-grad-you job? THAT'LL free up TONS of time!
Orion
2007-03-13 20:43:54 · answer #4 · answered by Orion 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to spend time with them NOW. The college thing will work itself out. And listen to me--this is very important: NOT EVERY KID IS GOING TO COLLEGE! Not every h.s. graduate is a failure. Many, many that I know are wildly successful. My brother-in-law is a millionaire, and he never had one college class. On the other hand, many college grads are losers. My best friend has a degree and works telemarketing.
What's most important is that they are productive and contribute to society. You are modeling what they should become as parents. What do you want that to look like?
For the record, I have no idea how you do it at all. You and yours are my American heroes.
2007-03-13 20:40:56 · answer #5 · answered by muedprof 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First I think it's great that you are still in school for being a single mom with 2 kids. It is important to think of their future now but also to spend time with them. Even if you take one day off from one of the jobs or school and make it their special day. A time for the three of you only to go to a movie or the park.
2007-03-13 22:30:41 · answer #6 · answered by Carmen M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you're a good mother, you sound like you're working really hard to see to their well-being and future. I think, though, that the best way to figure out a way of spending time with your boys is to talk to them. They are most likely old enough to know what's going on. They are the best judge of what's going on, and I wouldn't be surprised if they come up with some great ideas!
2007-03-14 01:21:40 · answer #7 · answered by P C 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm not sure what your jobs are, or when your college classes are, but there may be a few things you could do to alter your schedule. maybe you could take a couple online courses, so you can do that from the comfort of your home. Or, maybe you could work one job away from home, and possibly find something you could do from home. Maybe you could research selling on eBay. There are companies that will sell to you at wholesale so you could sell on eBay and make a profit.
It is admirable that you are doing this for your boys. There are plenty of ways for your boys to make it to college, and you do not have to pay for every dime of it.
2007-03-13 20:37:44 · answer #8 · answered by annie41378 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I DONT THINK YOU ARE A BAD MOTHER . THINK YOU SHOULD JUST GO AHEAD AND FINISH WHAT IT IS THAT YOU ARE IN SCHOOL FOR SO YOU CAN MAKE THERE LIFE BETTER AND KEEP WORKING SO THEY CAN EAT AND THE LITTLE TIME YOU GET WITH THEM JUST DO SOMETHING EVEN IF YOU DONT HAVE THE ENERGY IT THE LITTLE THINGS THAT COUNT LIKE READ A BOOK BUILD BLOCKS FOR A WHILE AND SAY MOMMY IS TIRED NOW THERE IS A WAY
2007-03-13 20:46:18 · answer #9 · answered by toya j 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋