They dated eight years ago when they were freshman in college. He lost his virginity to her/ They emailed from time to time, but didn't have a strong friendship. I feel uncomfortable with her emails because she tells him how much she cares for him. She begs him for pictures and his current phone number. Her letters always end with LOVE. I've told my boyfriend this makes me feel jealous and upset, yet he continues to write to her. He doesn't write anything flirtatious back, yet I don't the needy tone she uses in her emails. She told him she doesn't want him to stop talking to her even if his girlfriend disapproves because she cares about him so much. First off, she is married and I don't know if her husband is aware of her emails. She never mentions her relationship with her husband.
I've told my boyfriend to stop talking to her, but he doesn't. Am I being possessive? She I write to her and tell her to stop even though I'm a stranger? Should I alert her husband?
2007-03-13 12:41:15 · 19 answers · asked by delirium cornucopia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It is her that is in the wrong but if you contact her you are playing into her attempts for attention. Even worse, she may just use your jealousy to try get your boyfriends attention and sympathy.
You need to be confident in who you are and why your boyfriend likes you. However, you also need to tell him that you don't like him associating with someone who is so disrespectful to her marriage or to your relationship with him. He should want to cut off contact because of his feelings for you. If he doesn't, you need to evaluate your relationship with him.
2007-03-13 12:49:24 · answer #1 · answered by loridmc 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would write her a note saying that you know about the emails, that you have read them, and that you feel pretty strongly that she is interested in more than just a friendship with your husband. Tell her you would appreciate it if she would stop writing to him. Tell your husband you did this, and tell him that if he writes to her, or talks to her behind your back, you will leave him. Then make good on your word. You don't deserve to be treated like this.
2007-03-13 12:46:55 · answer #2 · answered by missbliss4u63 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I had the same situation with my husband and I think the best move was that I told him that he has to choose between me or her (there is no sense talking to her or her husband or boyfriend)he chose me and i made him to send email in front of me that she would stop writing at all and she did. just sit down with your boyfriend and calmly explain him how you feel and what are the consequences. I'm sure that he will choose you over her, because guess what, its just going to get worse. Just give him ultimatum and if he chooses her, he does not have any strong feelings to you.and all that ex is after is to destroy your relationship. And if it continuous put stop on your torture yourself. Honey, you deserve someone better!!!
good luck
2007-03-13 12:56:14 · answer #3 · answered by aynouu 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you're being possessive, if all she talks about is her feelings for him I think any girl friend would feel at least a little jealous. You need to let him now that he should respect your feelings, how important is this ex to him? I could understand keeping in touch seeing how everything is every once in awhile but it sounds like she's still interested. I would let him know that if the Internet flirting doesn't stop that you'll find someone who respects you more than that.
2007-03-13 12:52:35 · answer #4 · answered by Like Nothing Else 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
ok girl i think ur thinking right ill be damned if my man is gunna be talkin to his ex i dont care if its harmless or not u need to call that girl and tell her to stop emailing calling sending pictures whatever shes doin u need to tell her to stop i dont care how much a man loves his gf or wife guys will be guys and if she comes on to him u never know what might happen and ur bf should respect ur wishes about not talkin to her they are both disrespecting u and it needs to stop if taht means leaving him then so be it he is always gunna have something for he lost his virginity to her i think u should call her and tell her to stop thats so effing disrespectful to u and if she doesnt then tell her husband if u love ur bf and want to be with him u need to put an end to this good luck in whatever decesion u make and i wish u the best
2007-03-21 11:33:59 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are not being possessive because you are telling your boyfriend what your feelings are in this matter.... I think you did it great; now he knows that you do not approve this relationship via mail or whatever...he is the one who has to do something about it IF HE CARES FOR YOU. You should do nothing about her husband, and please don´t call her or write to her, don´t do that! you have to have selfsteem!!! if he do not finish this, you have to end your relationship with him because there's history there and I think the flames are burning...
2007-03-21 12:31:16 · answer #6 · answered by staytrue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If ur boyfriend isn't doing anything to "encourage" her than I think you just need to back off there are some people in our lives that meant alot to us and that can be hard to just cut total contact with as for telling her husband you have no right to do such a thing and should stay out of it. I can understand your concern but saying that just cut your boyfriend some slack.
2007-03-13 12:51:37 · answer #7 · answered by wilo_chick 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you are being possesive, i think you should trust your boyfriend and let him decide what to do..if he was hiding something he wouldnt show you these emails and tell you whats on them,,so dont sweat it,,its not a big deal..maybe he cares for her in a friendship kind of way and vice versa..but that doesnt mean he is still in love with her..lots of woman make the mistake of being jealous for things like these, not remembering that men love it when their woman has total trust in them and expects them to make the right decision..this is somtimes the reason for a lot of break up's, so dont be one more..and if you write to her, he might get mad for you not letting him handle the situation and this will cause problems between you two andmaybe this is what she wants, so dont fall into her game..have confidence in yourself and your relationship..you hold the cards now..not she..
2007-03-13 12:48:02 · answer #8 · answered by sinful vampyra 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think you should definitely first make sure that your man loves you the way he should and not worry about the other *****, i am telling you from experience.my x-was married to his wife for 5 years same story as yours and she will email him but he was so focused on me that he will just answer back out of courtesy..then she said something that totally got him mad ans He decided to break up all kinds of connections with her and just let her be...never i heard about his x nor did she email him or called....all you got to do is make sure that your guy is definately in your dish!!!
2007-03-13 12:49:01 · answer #9 · answered by Cute brunett 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should try to get a hold on your jealousy. Your boyfriend might just see his ex as a friend and she probably sees him the same way. If he didn't he wouldn't allow you to read the letters at all. Don't jump to conclusions.
2007-03-13 12:50:40 · answer #10 · answered by Q.A. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋