counselor said husband has narcistic disorder?

Question

I asked you all what i should do to help my manipulating raged husband and took the advise of seeing a counselor. Does anyone have info on narcistic disorder

Answer 1

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is an actual disorder and the dynamics stem from an underlying sense of shame- there is actually a core sense of inadequacy that narcissistic personalities feel, however they use the defenses of projection and reaction formation in order to cope with the sense of shame by blaming other people and convincing themselves that they are special.
Narcissists have generally been wounded (the term "narcissistic wounds" means injuries inflicted to someone's sense of self) early in life by being made to feel they are never good enough and constantly told they are inadequate. These experiences cause the classic "narcissistic shame" that they feel and results in "narcissistic rage" reactions whenever they feel that someone is somehow disrespecting them or that someone's behavior reflects badly on them as it triggers those old wounds. They are extremely sensitive to anything they perceive as criticism or disrespect and overreact with rages. The people in their life that they are closest to become the targets for this rage (narcissists expect everyone to make up for all the love and appreciation they never got as children) and they are made to feel that they are never good enough (narcissists project their own sense of inadequacy onto those they love in order to not feel it themselves). They make their spouses and children feel they are worthless-again projecting their own feelings onto those around them.
Another trait exhibited by narcissists is that they come across as extremely arrogant and self-righteous and seem self-confident. This is the defense mechanism called reaction formation in action. They see themselves as "special" and that only other especially talented and bright people can understand and relate to them. They constantly feel that they don't get the recognition and respect that is their due and explain it by believing that others are too stupid and ignorant to appreciate them. They are often envious of others who seem to have "more" than they have as narcissists feel they are more entitled than others. They also tend to be preoccupied with fantasies of success, recognition, fame, etc. as they need this in order to fill up the empty pit of inadequacy they feel.
Narcissists appear extraordinarily selfish. Everything that matters to them is about them. They have little capacity to appreciate the needs or feelings of others as they themselves are empty pits of need and are too preoccupied with getting their own needs fulfilled to care about the needs of others. Think of it like this- they are unable to give what they never got themselves. Other people are important to them only to the degree that the other person reflects positively on them either by conveying some status to the narcissist or by worshipping the narcissist. Again, it's all about them.
Just from a historical perspective, because it's interesting, the term narcissism comes from the greek myth of narcissus who was so self-absorbed and in love with himself that he spent hours staring at his own reflection in the pond. His arrogance offended the Gods and they turned him into the flower, the narcissus.
Probably a whole lot more than you wanted to know, but that's it in a nutshell. There are degrees of narcissism, and not all show every characteristic. In defence of narcissists, and in order to work with them in therapy, you have to continually bear in mind that their behavior (which is often obnoxious) reflects very low self-esteem and an overwhelming sense of self-loathing. It's important to bear that in mind because this is so well hidden by their defenses that it often goes unrecognized and it takes time to develop a true therapeutic alliance with them in order for them to feel safe enough to share this. It's difficult enough in therapy, but living with one is a whole other matter because a relationship needs to go both ways and you have a right to expect things a narcissist is often incapable of giving consistently.
Hope this helps explain it.

Answer 2

I think I'm going through the same thing you are with my husband. When my husband gets angry, there's no reasoning with him. He doesn't care how I'm feeling and says alot of really hurtful things. He's manipulative to everyone around him. I only realized that after 7 years of being with him, that he manipulates me into feeling like our problems are my fault and that's its because of my personality that he can't open up to me. I don't know much about narcistic disorders, but I really think my husband has some type of personality disorder. Was a counselor helpful to talk to?

Answer 3

i might say to him 'ok i will see a psychiatrist or psychologist in case you apart from could see one your self' i might additionally element out that for the time of relationships that's by no skill in basic terms a million guy or woman's fault (except the guy is bodily or mentally abusive to their better half). a marriage is two human beings meaning 2 personalities and a pair of human beings turning out to be conflict. i might recommend you spot your very own psychiatrist so which you will get a sparkling perspective on what to do along with your existence. you have have been given to divorce this guy if he's so obdurate and can't even conceive of the thought he's inflicting conflict on your marriage besides. I broke up with my ex fiance some years decrease back as quickly as we've been having an extremely extreme pre-marriage conflict that could impact our lives mutually. while he refused to seek for pre-marriage counseling and refused to pay attention (think of approximately) something I stated then I knew our dating replaced into over.

Answer 4

A narcissist thinks only of themselves, basically. This is your first insight into your marriage. The next step is understanding your own basic self. After that, you will need insight on how to handle your emotions while dealing with his (overbearing) personality, mostly done by separating yourself emotionally.
This will be difficult to do because your job might be somewhat one-sided, but it is not impossible to work out, especially if there are other benefits that he brings to the marriage. Good luck!

Answer 5

Acquired situational narcissism:
Acquired Situational Narcissism is a form of narcissism that develops in late adolescence or adulthood, brought on by wealth, fame and the other trappings of celebrity. It was coined by Robert B. Millman, professor of psychiatry at the Weill Medical College of Cornell University.

ASN differs from conventional narcissism in that it develops after childhood and is triggered and supported by the celebrity-obsessed society: fans, assistants and tabloid media all play into the idea that the person really is vastly more important than other people, triggering a narcissitic problem that might have been only a tendency, or latent, and helping it to become a full-blown personality disorder.

In its presentation and symptoms, it is indistinguishable from Narcissitic Personality Disorder, differing only in its late onset and its support by large numbers of others. The person with ASN may suffer from unstable relationships, substance abuse and erratic behaviour.

Gender Narcissim:
Gender narcissism is a relatively new concept, mentioned by Dr. Gerald Schoenwolf, with reference to both males and females.

The concept builds on Freud's theories of penis envy and the castration complex. Chiefly that an over-emphasis or over-perception of gender and gender difference in childhood can lead to either a devaluation or an over-valuation of one's gender in later life.

Dr. Schoenwolf in particular suggests that the emergence of the feminist personality, with gonadal-centric views, and female gender narcissism are synonymous.

Sexual narcissism:
Sexual narcissism is the erotic preoccupation with oneself as a sexual being: a desire to merge sexually with a mirror image of oneself. Sexual narcissism can also be an egocentric pattern of sexual behavior, defined by David Farley Hurlbert and Carol Apt [8] as an inability to experience intimacy combined with a fixation on the sexual act, using high sexual esteem to compensate for low general self esteem. This is believed to be more common in men than in women and is suggested to be the basis of sex addiction.

Narcissistic Personality Inventory:
The Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) divides narcissism into seven components: superiority, exhibitionism, entitlement, vanity, authority, exploitativeness and self-sufficiency. Narcissists generally crave attention, are overconfident of their abilities, lack empathy and can evince erratic behavior. However, they are also well-liked, especially on first meeting, are extroverted and perform well in public.

Hope that helps you a bit:) Good luck dealing with a narcisstic person.

Answer 6

I was actually just reading about this.....

love, freedom, aloneness: THE KOAN OF RELATIONSHIPS
by Osho


I walked a few miles to get this book.... actually it took every step of my life to reach it. I only wish I'd stumbled upon it, somehow, earlier.

Answer 7

Your counselor does.

Answer 8

I don't think it's a disorder....just someone who's a complete A-hole...