about 5 months ago somethign happened between me and my boyfriend that caused me not to be able to trust him....i mean it was bad pretty bad but ...it could have been so much worse and it wasnt becasue of the decision he had made....so i gave him a second chance after a month that i had to think about what happened...well..i cant let go of what happened and i want to so bad but it hurts so much worse...and i know i cant have a relationship without trust and i want to trust him...but its so hard and i know that is the cause of some of the frustrtion n arguements...i want to let go or what happened and i get so angry with myself that i cant...how do i let go of what happened i kno i cant just forget it i wont ever be able to....i said i forgave him....and i do but i cant get it out of my head please hepl me learn how to let go of it...i dont want these fights...and i fear that they may get worse if i do not let go...your answers will be so very much appreciated...
2007-03-13 11:58:43 · 7 answers · asked by Timmys lil angel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
HE HAS GOT TO HELP YOU TO. HE NEEDS TO SHOW YOU THAT YOU CAN TRUST HIM AGAIN. IT IS NOT ALL ON YOU. SECOND, YOU HAVE TO THINK THAT IF YOU DON'T STOP YOU ARE GOING TO LOSE HIM OR BE IN A MISERABLE RELATIONSHIP. GOOD LUCK.
2007-03-13 12:04:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you asking this question. You already know the answer. However if you need my validation I will provide it:
If you can't trust then you can't have a relationship. Trust is the foundation of relationship and you CANNOT TAKE BACK TRUST ONCE YOU HAVE GIVEN IT! EVER!
So you'd better be really careful who you trust. Why did you "say you'd give him a second chance" when it was never your intention. You can't tell me that you REALLY wanted to give him a second chance. Your question is proof.
It's over. You might as well make it formal. You have major trust issues and until you can get past them, there will not be a relationship.
FP
2007-03-13 19:02:53 · answer #2 · answered by F. Perdurabo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is sit down and write down what it is about the problem that bothers you the most.... Then talk about it (calmly) with your bf... You need to find out why it is so hard for you to truely forgive him...Has he forgiven himself? You can't if he doesn't! When you find out what it is that is causing you to not be able to forgive write it down on a piece of paper too...Then set both peices of paper on fire (somewhere safe) watching it burn and visualizing the problem going up in smoke as well. This sounds stupid but so much that bothers us is really only mental and we have to associate the problem with a phyiscal or visual way of forgiving.....Then have make up sex! LOL! Hope this Helps!
2007-03-13 19:11:35 · answer #3 · answered by Good Witch of the South 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forgiving doesnt mean forgetting. You have to give him the opportunity to earn your trust again. If you cant get past the non-trust then your relationship will never be good again.
You have to make that decision.........do want to trust him?
Then give him a chance to earn your trust, but you have to explain this to him. He has to know that his betrayal hurt you and he has to regain your trust.
Go see a couples counselor.........they are a big help.
2007-03-13 19:05:24 · answer #4 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't have a relationship without trust so he you are having trouble with trusting him and letting go of what he did then itstime for you to move on or learn to forgive and forget if you really want to be with him
2007-03-13 19:02:51 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he cheated let him go, trust is so hard to gain back and if he did that to you he dosent diserve you, he will do it again. you sound very unhappy, in time you will be able to move on and theres someone out there who is better...only you can decide whats best for you
2007-03-13 19:02:54 · answer #6 · answered by CRAZY 8 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you didnt say what he did???Whatever it is that your so upset and cant forget about it you should just leave him you may be better off...It will always end up in a huge argument...
2007-03-13 19:03:58 · answer #7 · answered by **Mishelly** 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋