with him but i won't but i am with my daughter's father and i want to know if i should tell the one in jail who iam with so maybe he'll get the picture i've moved on because that is all i tell him. he wants me to help him get less jail time so he can come out and work to help take care of us but i don't want to take care of us i just need him to take care of his boys.
Can i get a good opinion out there somewhere?
2007-03-13 11:57:52 · 11 answers · asked by Snickerlicious 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I truly believe he is in jail getting what he deserves. Don't let him use you to get out and don't tell him about your life other than he will not be a part of it. The more he knows about you the more ammunition he has. If i were you I would cut all ties with him and the sooner the better.
For obvious reasons you don't need him near you and your sons don't need to grow up thinking it's ok to beat their female friends. All of your children need to grow up in the midst of a happy healthy relationship or they will never understand what is acceptable and learn how to be a part of one.
If cutting all ties with your X means forgoing the " possibility of eventual " child support then so be it. The price you and your children will pay to have him in your lives is far greater than the financial cost to raise them on your own. What your children live today may haunt them for the rest of their lives. Your children are much more important.
Wish you all the best. : )
2007-03-13 12:38:39 · answer #1 · answered by uncle louie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you are sitting in jail, you have lots of time to think about what you want to do and how your gonna live when you get out but usually, once freedom is obtained, all those dreams are cast by the wayside. He has to help himself. Do you want your son's to grow up and be abusers like him?! Are you accepting phone calls from this guy"for the boy's sake"? Sounds like a Jerry Springer re-run
2007-03-13 12:09:53 · answer #2 · answered by little lu-lu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why are you even in contact with this guy are you nuts? just don't talk to him anymore. If you have moved on then don't have contact with him. I would tell him that you have moved on and won't be in contact with him any more. He can get photos of the kids from his parents and just send the parents photos. You should also go to court and get child support order if that is what you want and also some sort of order about visitation, preferably supervised, for when he gets out. Go thru the DA and don't have any contact with the guy. If he is jealous or obsessive about you i wouldn't tell him about the other guy.
2007-03-13 12:07:32 · answer #3 · answered by bubbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find a way to take care of your children without his help, and refuse all contact with him TOTALLY. I grew up in a household of violence, and the best thing my mother ever did for us was to get us away from that. Your children should know--from your example--that violence is intolerable and unacceptable for any reason, and this is not how people are supposed to live, and when you choose to act violently, you lose--your family, your home, your freedom. He is a grown man who has made his bed, now allow him to lie in it-IN PRISON.
2007-03-13 12:03:26 · answer #4 · answered by melouofs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're to the point where you think moving on is better, trust yourself. My mom's freind was all about being independant and taking care of her son when her husband was in jail. After he came back she was 97434 times different, he wouldnt let her talk to us and when she would get out to talk to us she was almost scared and she was changed. You owe it to your kids to find someone who can give them the world. Do it for them and do it for yourself. <3
2007-03-13 12:04:11 · answer #5 · answered by k123 x 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not, under any circumstances, deal directly with him. Any support issues should be handled by a third party; you do not owe him any explanations on what your plans are. He was violent with you...one strike, he's out. Don't leave yourself open to this situation. Get a lawyer and a restraining order, then live your life happily and safely.
Good luck
2007-03-13 12:03:22 · answer #6 · answered by Nanneke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it, hun.
Chances are, if he was violent once, he will be again. Is there anyway you can stop talking to him? If you can, try your hardest....I had an abusive ex once, and the only way i got over him was to completely cut off contact. Only speak with him when it has to do with the children, in your case.
Good Luck!!
<3 Megan
2007-03-13 12:03:05 · answer #7 · answered by megan c <3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to stay away from him. if it was bad enough for him to go to jail for what he's done to you, its unlikely he will stop if you two get back together. dont tell him who you're with, because you dont want the guy in jail to come after your new guy.
2007-03-13 12:05:18 · answer #8 · answered by PR 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay. First of all, he is never going to take care of your boys. You need to do that all by yourself. You dont need
or want him having anything to do with your boys. If he abused you..........he will abuse them also.
Your best bet..........cut all ties. Dont tell him anything.
Stop writing him, stop calling him..........stay away. He'll get the message.
2007-03-13 12:02:01 · answer #9 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you crazy as all hell if you take him back sh*t that ain't no man if he puts his hands on you. a real man will never hit a woman no matter how mad the girl makes him. for example i busted out my son's father windows and keyed his car but he never layed a finger on me.
2007-03-13 12:16:04 · answer #10 · answered by msunknown 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋