2007-03-13 11:46:48 · 6 answers · asked by The Mr 1 in Computers & Internet ➔ Software
Oxymoron:
Microsoft Works.
2007-03-13 11:48:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy has just arrived in Seattle and is amazed at how lush and green everything is. He sees an ad for a helicopter tour and has to give it a shot. After two hours in the air a massive cloud bank rolls in and the pilot has to confess they are totally lost. After another hour the weather hasn't let up and they are starting to run low on fuel.
Seeing a break in the clouds, the pilot drops down and spots an office building. The people inside have come over to the windows to see what is going on. The pilot holds writes on his clipboard three separate words large enough to show the folks in the building.
WHERE
ARE
WE?
After a brief flurry of activity the folks in the building hold up a sign. The pilot gives them a thumbs up, pivots the helicopter and dives back into the clouds. Five minutes later they are landing a SEA-TAC.
The passenger is amazed. "How did what they told you get us back here??"
"Well", said the pilot, "I asked where we were, their answer, 'in a helicopter', was truthful, accurate, but completely useless."
"SO?? How did that tell you were we were?"
"That had to be Microsoft Customer Support", the pilot replied laughing.
2007-03-13 18:56:49 · answer #2 · answered by Clif S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the gate and says: "you know, we're not really sure what to do with you. God wants you because you've been such an altruistic being, giving so much money to charity, helping out so many people who needed help and the Devil wants you because you infuriated so many people with your devilish computer monopoly. So, we've decided to give you your choice of where to spend eternity.
St. Peter shows Bill around heaven and it's really nice... golden pavement, angels and harps, Mother Theresa, Jesus, you know, very nice, but calm, quiet and serene.
Then he takes him down stairs in an elevator. The elevator doors open onto a picturesque beach, there are people every where, playing volleyball, listening to music, swimming, having a grand old time.
Bill says, "oh, I like this... this is better. I choose here."
St. Peter says: "Are you sure?"
Bill says, "oh, yes, absolutely".
St. Peter steps back into the elevator, the doors close and suddenly Bill is standing in Fire and brimstone, it's hot and it's dark and people are screaming in pain and agony.
Bill calls out to St. Peter: "Hey! What happened to the beach party?"
St. Peter calls back, "That was just the screen saver!"
2007-03-13 18:54:17 · answer #3 · answered by shoestring_louise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you hear that Bill Gate's wife wasn't happy the morning after the honeymoon? She left the room muttering something about micro-soft...
2007-03-13 18:49:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well microsoft as a whole i would say . . .
2007-03-13 18:50:08 · answer #5 · answered by prince14 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Microsoft - doesn't that mean small and limp?
hehehehe.
2007-03-13 18:48:32 · answer #6 · answered by j3nny3lf 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋