I have been dating my boyfriend since I was a freshman in high school. We didn't think we would be able to have kids due to fertility problems, so when we found out I was pregnant we were ecstatic. However, recently I discovered that he has been cheating on me with multiple other females. I really need the money he could provide, but I don't want that type of person in my child's life. What should I do? And please, don't judge me, I know this is my fault, but what's done is done and I really just need the advice.
2007-03-13 11:29:29 · 17 answers · asked by Stolkz 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I have left him, so I don't need advice about the relationship. Also, does he have to see the child if he pays child support?
2007-03-13 12:13:41 · update #1
For now, dump him and wait for the baby. When it's born, get a blood test ASAP, and go to court if necessary to force him to pay support--you are entitled to it!
Don't take him back.... or you'll be in the same position somewhere down the road...and it will hurt you even more.
2007-03-13 11:34:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well I think that you should leave him. I mean he does not respect you at all. You are pregnant and he is off exploring other woman. He should be pampering you and getting what you need to prepare of this baby. But its hard enough being pregnant you do not need the extra stress that he is given you. You should just focus on yourself and taking care of you and your unborn baby. Your unborn baby needs you so much that you do not realize it now but soon you will. Congrats on the baby. Oh by the way about the money you can actually start a child support case right away. And when the baby is born take him to court so that you can settle visitation issues and child support. Also do not be surprised if later on your bf decides not to be in your baby life. If this happens let it be do not force a child to a man that does not a baby. Another not this is not your fault he did contribute in getting you pregnant after all he is the sperm donor. Take care. I hope that this helps. And please take care of yourself because if you don't the baby feels all of the effects like you being stress.
2007-03-13 18:41:43 · answer #2 · answered by beenie 21 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
don't forget to have your ob/gyn test you for STD's the next time you go for a check up since he has been sleeping around. You should leave him go back to your parents and ask them for help then file for child support i think you can start the paper work before the baby is born. He will have to help support the baby they will probably do a DNA test which is just a swab from inside the baby's mouth. Talk to your parents to see if you can get some emotional support from them. Your other options are abortion if you are not too far along or adoption. you need to do what is right for you. If he seems sorry or wants another chance INSIST on couples counseling. Good Luck
2007-03-13 18:50:38 · answer #3 · answered by bubbles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if money is the only thing that is holding you back, the Child Support Services in your area will take care of that for you. (i am really hoping neither one of your is still in high school). and unfortunately there is nothing you can do to not have this man in your child's life. it's a little late for that. you can go down to the court and file for custody and visitation to lower the amount of time you would have to deal with him. this lowers the amount of phone calls and such. you can restrict visitation to be in your home until the child no longer is nursing, make sure he takes parenting classes (you can get that court ordered. friend or enemy, it always makes me nervous when a new father handles a baby for the first time. My husband at this moment is actually out with our 8 week old son and is making me nervous.
you do have the option of abortion (not sure what trimester you are in) but given it took you so hard to get pregnant in the first place i wouldn't advise it. and unless he signs off on an adoption that's not doable.
whatever you decide, good luck. and remember, it may be hard, but millions of women before you have moved on. just remember not to take your anger out on your child. i recommend parenting classes for you as well.
2007-03-13 19:02:30 · answer #4 · answered by Bella 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he's cheating it's NOT your fault. He'll have to support the child if you leave him, you'll have to prove paternity and take him to court, but you will get some money from his. Lean on your family right now, see if they can help you out, that's what family is for, times like this.
2007-03-13 18:36:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Which is more important: money, or your child?
It's called "child support." Get rid of the cheater, but make him pay for his kid even if you have to go to court to do it. Your child doesn't need that type of influence, and you don't need that stress. But he still has to help support the little life that he helped create.
2007-03-13 18:35:22 · answer #6 · answered by Luann 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You don't need him to have your baby! And you don't have to be with him to have him help you with the baby. If he's been cheating since you are pregnant, I would show him the door and then after you have the baby send him the child support papers. Good Luck and try and not stress to much!!
2007-03-13 18:35:49 · answer #7 · answered by alaskagirl 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
honestly i would leave him. you got better things to worry about i mean you are going to have a kid soon. if you have family that will support you stay with them you know. dont worry it hink he will help you along the way when the baby is born. youc an give your child a better life you know
2007-03-13 18:38:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ditch him.
Find family and friends that are a good support system.
A man that treats you like this will treat the child just as poorly.
2007-03-13 18:32:47 · answer #9 · answered by christine_ 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
hi sweetie. tell him how you feel. tell him that you need him to make a decision and make it fast. tell him if you are together he MUST drop the other girls and tell him if he is out of the picture the law will be notified so you can recieve the much needed child support. good luck!
2007-03-13 18:34:53 · answer #10 · answered by Mommy of 1, #2 on the way! 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋