I was 19 when i got pregnant i chose to keep my son but for the first 3 yrs of his life he was raised mainly by my parents.I went away to college and just recently graduated recently at age 22 yrs old.I really only saw my son on breaks and the weekend during this time.I also never told anyone who his biological father was.I feel guilty for not being there as much as i should have.My son is only 4 by the way but i feel like i missed a lot?
2007-03-13 11:03:40 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I was trying to protect my son by not telling anyone who his father was because his dad was my first bf to everything else and we were broken up when my son was made plus he had a new gf at the time.
2007-03-13 11:10:38 · update #1
My son now lives with me and my new hubby.
2007-03-13 11:13:36 · update #2
You did what you could in your situation, no one can blame you for that. I don't even know what I would have done in that situation.
2007-03-13 11:07:26 · answer #1 · answered by Axel 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
A bad parent? I wouldn't say that. My idea of a bad parent is one who makes decisions based on his/her own happiness or in complete disregard for well-being/happiness of the child. You did what you thougth you should in the situation, and while many don't share my opinion; if the dad wasn't going to be in your son's life, why tell him about him? When he's much older you may choose to tell him about his biological father, but right now that will only cause heartache and confusion. Now that you are well educated and married and able to provide a good stable home for him, there is no reason why you should look back and waste time lamenting what you may have missed or lost, but focus on the here and now and all the great monumental periods (each day with kids that each) that you get to experience now. The past is the past. Focus on the present. You'll be so much happier and your son probably will be too.
2007-03-13 12:04:18 · answer #2 · answered by Wonderin' 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely not. A 'bad' parent would not be concerned about poor parenting. You would not feel some guilt and you would not have posted this question. You bettered yourself and that came at a cost, but in the long run, it will benefit you and your family. You made a very good choice to let your parents raise him (that's actually quite responsible). When he's older, if you feel like you need to, you can tell him about his bio dad. Of course, your hubby is his 'dad' regardless of who provided the sperm! It's true, you did 'miss' a lot, but there is a lot to look forward to. Try to look to the future and not dwell on the past. Give yourself a break, do the best you can, and keep making good choices for you, your son, and your family.
2007-03-13 12:33:59 · answer #3 · answered by prekinpdx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you raising him solely now? A bad parent would just move away and never come back. If you were gone to make a better life for both of you, nope.
I hate to be blunt but you did miss a lot, but that's okay! You are there now and that's what's important!
I know women who do this after they get divorced, so you're not that terrible!!
A child has a right to know his father... you will need to address that issue at some point, whether you want to or not... enjoy the wedding!
2007-03-13 11:11:44 · answer #4 · answered by Trouble's Mama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you did what you thought was best. You cannot do anything about it. You probably should have contacted the father to let him know or atleast some help (childsupport and such). You probably did miss out on a lot of stuff, but all that matters is that you are there for him NOW. Now you have your college degree (congrats) you can get a good job and support your child better. So enjoy every minute of it.
2007-03-13 11:38:33 · answer #5 · answered by mrs.russell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made the right choice. Education first, and it will work out best in the end for both of you.
If you had not completed college, things would have been a lot tougher for you. Now you're educated, and you have a better chance of providing him a good life.
Congrats on graduating!! Too many make the wrong choice in this world.
2007-03-13 11:09:03 · answer #6 · answered by Blue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have missed out on a lot of your sons growing up but all we can do as parents is try to do our best for our kids you did what you thought best at the time and you now live with that but all you can do is move foward in your life with your son.
As to the father I don t know the situation and what the man is like but from what i can see is that he hasnt bothered so he does not deserve to see the baby you may have to tell your lad about it in later years
keep doing what you think is best and have a good life and don t regret things you can t change
good luck
2007-03-13 14:34:44 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You missed a WHOLE lot, and you'll never get that time with him back. My best advice is to move forward from here, and be there for him for the rest of his life.
I'm glad you got your education, because you'll both be better off for it. I do wish, however, that you could have gone to a school closer to home so you could have a bond with your son. Those first few years are essential.
2007-03-13 11:09:50 · answer #8 · answered by Luann 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not a bad parent. just think of all you can offer him now that you have a proper education. you may have missed out on some things but just think of all the things he's still going to in his life.if you think the Father of your son would be a bad influence or not care about him then don't tell anyone but if it's the complete opposite then you most tell.
2007-03-13 11:12:13 · answer #9 · answered by liza 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have missed a lot but you did what you could to better your life for your son. Feel lucky that your parents have been able to help. Work hard now to get to know him and spend time with him. Provide for him. You have lots of time left.
2007-03-13 11:10:10 · answer #10 · answered by iceemama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by getting your college education you are now better equipped to provide for him, he's 4 and will probably not remeber alot about those first 3 years of life. Make the most of your life together now and be a better parent inspite of being so young. good luck.
2007-03-13 13:04:22 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋