Ok our reception is in a different place then our wedding about 18 mile travel distance. We are having a cash bar so is this our cocktail hour? is this tacky rude?? We are on a strict budget. I am serving a sit down dinner appetizers, salad, dinner, desert.. I would rather pay good money for a dinner then money to get my guest sloshed.... Cocktail hour is the time between the time when we take pics and it takes us to get to the reception... so are we being tacky?
2007-03-13 10:58:39 · 29 answers · asked by Lizzie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes it's tacky to invites guests to a party you are throwing and expect them to buy their own drinks. If you wouldn't charge people for a drink in your own home, don't charge them when you host a party outside of your own home. Scale back, or serve beer, wine and one signature cocktail.
2007-03-13 11:06:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 5⤋
It's not so much tacky as downright rude. You are supposed to be HOSTING your guests at the wedding reception, and that should include an open bar. You can limit the hours, so the bar is just open for cocktail hour before the dinner, then reopens once the dance starts. I think you should reconsider, and you and your guy should have worked that into your budget!
2007-03-14 00:07:45 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It is VERY rude to have your guests pay for ANYTHING you are arranging to serve/offer at your wedding. Please do not disrespect your guests by having ANY sort of cash bar! That is all they will remember-- what a poor host you were.
If you are on a tight budget, consider the following ideas, all of which are perfectly fine as per etiquette:
1. serving only wine and/or beer, not expensive liquor
2. serving only a lightly-alcoholic punch, which will be festive without being expensive, and people won't chug it
3. serving alcohol for 45 minute "cocktail hour" only and then after that just soft drinks --OR-- serving only wine and ONLY while the dinner is going on-- at other times, only soft drinks
4. moving money out of the food budget or other areas of the wedding to pay for the drinks
5. a wedding with no alcohol at all is also perfectly fine. if people want to go out afterwards together they can hit a bar after your reception on their own in groups of friends.
2007-03-13 17:51:43 · answer #3 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
People who think it is not tacky are so themselves. Nobody expects to be an invited guest to any type of event, only to pay for it themselves! Yes, it is tacky. If you do not wish to have a full open bar, you can always opt for beer, wine, soda. This is much less expensive, and your guests will much more greatly appreciate it over having to pay for their own drinks.
And just because you're footing the bill doesn't mean people will be getting sloshed. I've never been drunk at a wedding in my life, and I know most people don't go with the intent of drinking themselves into oblivion either.
2007-03-13 12:43:58 · answer #4 · answered by melouofs 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I don't think it's down right rude, and I think a lot of people get really carried away on their ideas of a cash bar.
Just don't have alcohol at all or maybe serve beer and wine?
People shouldn't expect alcohol at weddings anyway. We went to a lovely wedding where they didn't serve alcohol at all, and it was just as much fun.
If it's out of the budget, then don't have it.
2007-03-14 04:03:49 · answer #5 · answered by sweetxgrace 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lizzie, yes, yes, yes .... it's tacky. I have gone to three weddings where there were cash bars, and people made jokes about the bride and groom. It's considered tacky. BUT... do what many couples do. Open the bar up for 1 1/2 hours on you.... then after that it becomes a cash bar. Everyone can have one or two drinks on you.... if they want to get sloshed, it should not be at your expense.... and your and that wonderful new husband can hold your head high.
2007-03-13 11:30:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Nope I don't think its tacky. They are already getting free food. There is also the chance that if they get drunk and have an accident you could be at fault (sad but unfortunately true in this litigious society). Having a cash bar will hopefully curb some people from getting to crazy with their drinking. I've been to several weddings and each one had a cash bar. Noone complained about it nor expressed it as being anywhere near tacky. Friends who have gone to a wedding that has an open bar have expressed surprise at not having to pay for alcoholic beverages.
Regarding comments like this: "You don't charge people to drink when they come to your home so you shouldn't do it at a wedding." ... Well no it wouldn't be a charge to drink when they come to my home BUT I expect those who wish to drink to BYOB, I'd provide non alcoholic beverages for free.
2007-03-13 12:28:45 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I dont think its being tackry per se, but I do think if you are asking people to be your guests at an affair and then you turn around and expect them to pay, in any way, for themselves that you are not being a good host.
You could do an abreviated bar, and just serve wine and beer and champagne, you dont need to do full out liquor.
2007-03-13 12:34:28 · answer #8 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am having an open bar myself.
I know people say it is your day and all that, but please consider the sacrafices some of these people are making to be at your wedding.
Maybe your parents and your fiances parents might be willing to chip in a couple hundred for the bar?
You dont have to have hard liquor.
You can buy a good wine at a reasonable price and set it on the tables. If you would like to have beer, why not buy a keg and save a ton of money?
I am having white and red wine myself along with a couple kegs and then I am taking our big water cooler from our house (you know the ones with the huge bottle on the top and keeps things cold) and I am filling that bottle with tequlia sunrise.
I suspect I will be paying 800 for liqour, it is a bit of money, but when consider it next to everything else you have spent, it is not too bad and devide that between the number if guests and its only dollars a guest.
I have also seen open bars with donation boxes at the bar and people can donate for their drinks.
Lets face it, not everyone carries cash on them now days and I am sure there will not be an atm at your venue?
But if you really are just flat out you can still have a cash bar, no one is going to dislike you for it.
2007-03-13 11:08:56 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 4⤋
I don't think it is tacky at all to have a cash bar. Most of the people that are invited to the wedding will know that you are on a tight budget (anyone that has ever planned one knows how pricey they are). If I go to a wedding, I would much rather pay for my cocktails and have decent food, than to have free drinks and crummy food. I imagine most people are the same way. Don't stress out over the little things like that, enjoy your wedding day, and remember what the day is really all about (and that would not be paying for everyone elses cocktails).
2007-03-13 11:11:17 · answer #10 · answered by MrsJ S 2 · 3⤊ 5⤋
personally I think it is. when you invite friends over you dont ask them to pay for their drinks at your home so why ask them to at your wedding? they already have to travel to go to the wedding, probably put money out for something to wear and most likely give you a gift in return. I think if they can do all that just to be there for you, then you can be a good host and serve your guests. not everyone gets drunk off their a** if I had to put out that kind of money to go to a wedding and buy my own drinks I wouldnt give a gift. sorry, but if the bride and groom are saving money this way then they dont need mine.
2007-03-13 12:57:23 · answer #11 · answered by Jenn ♥Cadence Jade's mum♥ 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋