My nephew moved in with myself, my husband, and our four children about 3 weeks ago. He's 22 years old and doesn't have a job or car. We were under the impression that he was going to get a job , get on his feet and possibly resume college.
I went and bought nearly $300 worth of groceries to stock us for the rest of the month. Within 14 days he had gone through 24 rolls of toilet paper, 3 boxes of sausage, 21/2 loaves of bread, 2 gallons of juce, and a gallon of milk. He doesn't wash dishes, he doesn't clean up, he's on the phone or the computer for at least 12 hours a day and sleeps the other 12. He's using the washer and washing powder to wash 3 to 4 items of clothing EVERY DAY.
Most recently we have discovered that he's "not that serious" about getting a "gig" (job) because he wants to be able to go to school full time. I'm a full-time student myself and I can't afford not to be serious about my gig.
Please help (tactfully).
2007-03-13 10:55:37 · 10 answers · asked by weebit9898 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
There is no tact in this situation. He is an adult and you need to treat him like one. The fact you are helping him out is wonderful, but you need to tell him that you simply can't afford to have him loafing around the house doing nothing - you aren't his parents. Let him know that going to school full time is fine, but that he is going to have to pitch in with housework and be mindful of the money situation in your home.
If he isn't in school you need to tell him he has to get a job of some sort and start contributing to at least the food bill. Him spending 12+hrs on the computer also has to stop - he isn't at your home on vacation - he's there to either get on his feet and move out or get back into school - you need to make that clear to him.
2007-03-13 11:43:06 · answer #1 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Under the circumstances I don't think that tact is entirely necessary. I really don't know what advive to give you If I were staying at someone elses house and could not contribute towards rent / grocieries I would at the very least be up early and see to it that I did all the cleaning. Explain to him how much he would have to pay to live in his own house with groceries / rent / utilities / and so on paid for.The reason I am being so harsh is because I feel these are things he should be considering when he is on the phone , the computer or sleeping. good luck
2007-03-13 11:09:03 · answer #2 · answered by frogenstien 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know why you're so concerned about being "nice" to someone who is a disrespectful mooch who is using you and your family. If your husband is the one supporting all you people with his 1 job, you own it to him to tell the little punk it's time to move out. Tomorrow. Why worry about being tactful? Worry more about the burden you've placed on your husband by allowing this to happen.
2007-03-13 11:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him if he wants to stay there then he could at least chip in on the groceries or help around the house and if he refuses or doesnt do it kick him out you shouldnt have to put up with that
2007-03-13 11:01:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit him down and tell him:
"We are allowing you to stay here so you can get back on your feet. We have not seen any effort on your part to do that. We are giving you 30 days to get on your feet, find a place to live and we will help you move in and get settled."
2007-03-13 11:10:34 · answer #5 · answered by Starla_C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly.. i've done this several times.. so tell him how you really feel and soon. otherwise you will freak out over some nonsense type issue- a sock on the stairs- a fork in the knife slot.. and blow up. tell him to get it together or get out, no hard feeling but your family comes first.. i'm still dealing with an unexpected longterm guest.. and i'm probably going to cut them off very soon. good luck,me
2007-03-13 11:03:17 · answer #6 · answered by jj 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Enough of being tactful , has this worked on him so far, tell him he either contributes, to your house hold or he finds new digs. This is costing you money, why are you putting up with a slop that is using you,. do it now or do it later, but do it you will
2007-03-13 11:15:41 · answer #7 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the only way he is going to learn is to be blunt.he is not going to learn any other way . the fastest way to make a him responsible is to kick him out he is either going to sink or swim.he is 22 years old there is no excuse for him to be this non motivated.when someone has to fend for themselves it will make them grow up a lot quicker. it is actually the best thing you can do for him even though it will be hard to do.
2007-03-13 11:18:15 · answer #8 · answered by Tommy D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My gosh! he's 22 and acts like that? I would tell him either get a job to help with everything or get out!
2007-03-13 11:02:52 · answer #9 · answered by flower2may 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well tell his lazy *** to get a job or to start packing!
2007-03-13 11:00:05 · answer #10 · answered by star86 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋