Why do you refuse to have children?

Question

To give more information about myself (which you can read about under my profile) I have three wonderful children. I've just read a lot of posts from people who want nothing to do with children. I just wondered why. And to all of those out there who can't, this question was not meant to offend. I apologize if it has.

Answer 1

My husband and I tried for years. So it wasn't a refusal issue, but rather a biological infertility issue. And trust me - if we could afford to adopt right now - we totally would.

ADDED: I just wanted you to know I didn't find the question offensive. But as many infertile couples will tell you, we're often told by people that we're selfish because we don't have kids. I had an acquaintance once tell me that any woman who went against God's will and refused to have children was going to hell. (She assumed I was childless by choice). Infertile couples get that a lot, sadly.

Answer 2

I am married, but have chosen not to have children for the following reasons.

1) I was abused as a child, and would be very concerned that I would pass my own issues on to any children I might have in spite of my best intentions.

2) I have treatment-resistant depression, and there's significant evidence that it's inheritable. I would never wish what I've gone through on anyone.

3) I am a freelance commercial artist, and my career takes up most of my time.

4) I am inherently a rather selfish person, and I don't think I'd be a very good mother -- I just wouldn't be able to make the kind of personal sacrifices that motherhood requires.

All pretty good reasons, I think, to have myself sterilized (as I did seventeen years ago) to make sure that I'll never have children.

Answer 3

I realized at a young age that I wasn't father material. I don't particularly like children, at least until they grow up enough to talk to. Usually when I say "I don't like kids," I get looks like I just said "I eat kids for lunch three times a week." As Jack Nicholson said, "[They] can't handle the truth!"
I think a lot of people don't really like kids, but had them because they were pressured by their families, or because having kids is "expected when you get married." It would explain why there are so many screwed-up adults around, raised by people who silently hated them. I was a psychiatric nurse for 17 years (both in a hospital and a correctional facility) and I dealt with a lot of unwanted children, who grew into bitter, troubled adults. We need to re-evaluate our priorities.

Answer 4

It may sound selfish, but because after you have children your life is for them and no longer your own. You have a new finacial, and emotional burden. Not to mention the extra fact that if you die, your child might not have the financial support it needs or deserves in its life... Also, not to mention the change of relationship with your spouse. Not saying its all bad or obviously people wouldnt have children, but those are some good reasons not to :-)

Answer 5

Who? I want children. Just not for a few more years.

Answer 6

I have three, but my sister chose to remain childless.

She teaches Head Start, and devotes herself body and soul to some very small people with very big challenges. They are all the children she needs.

.

Answer 7

It was only after I had one child that I found out the disorder they kept calling multiple sclerosis was actually a genetic mutation that my daughter has a 50% chance of manifesting. No more kids for me. I wouldn't wish my affliction on my worst enemy. Not even G.Dubyah.

But...I wouldn't trade my daughter for anything bewteen heaven and earth. She's my life.

http://www.wemove.org/hsp/

Answer 8

My partner and I, refuse to have children because of the negative consequences associated with overpopulation and environmental damage.

Answer 9

I'm not able to have children; I've had a hysterectomy D/T cancer. Adopting is too expensive & I refuse to be a single mom. You?

Answer 10

I don't - I have 2 wonderful ones who make the world a better place every day!