Help been with my guy for more than 5 yrs now..He's always dodging the question especially when we attend friend's weddings.ppl keep asking and i'm begining to wonder too.he's 35 and i'm 25, i know i'm still young but i don't want to start all over again if he is just passing thru..Help i don't want to break up it's been so long we've been together.He clams up everytime i ask
2007-03-13 10:38:05 · 9 answers · asked by nadienia864 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Whoa, it sounds like he doesn't want THAT serious of a commitment right now. You should talk to him about it and if he continues to dodge the question then you need to move on. Why wait around for your eggs to dry? This guy is not making the right moves and is putting it on his time when in reality, a relationship involves both of ya'lls time but to be COMPLETELY honest, I would think he feels like he doesn't need to marry you. You have moved in with him. You are probably having sex with him. You have given him everything he wants/needs right now without being married. Maybe he figures there's no point. You're already married without the license. If you wanna get married before you're 30, I'd say its time to move on. Its hard to start over but you'll be mad at yourself for wasting this time if things don't change
2007-03-13 10:43:37 · answer #1 · answered by First Lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your guy what you just told us & if he can't give you a straight answer, then chances are, there will be no wedding. Clamming up doesn't get a person anywhere. It's too bad he isn't man enough to be honest with you. Don't hold your breath. If you two were to marry, I wonder if he'd make it a practice of clamming up when he didn't want to discuss things. That would not be a good marriage, because it take two people to communicate or trouble is just around the corner. I would move on if I was you & maybe he's hoping you will.
2007-03-13 17:48:47 · answer #2 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is avoiding the question like the plague then something is up. Either he is using you until someone else better comes along or he is a jerk! You know at least within two years if you want to be with that person forever. You know it and he should too! Yes, you've been with him a long time, but if you already live together it makes it that easier for him to not ask you to marry him! He can have his cake and eat it too! I suggest moving out or going on vacation..no calls! See if he changes his mind and can't live without you. Do not stay with a guy who constantly strings you a long! No ultimatiums. That is the worst thing you can do is force him to choose. Let your actions speak for themselves. Be very very busy and see his reaction. If he wants to be with you he will make plans for a future. If not, you have your answer and it is up to you to leave him! Read that book "Why men marry bitches."
2007-03-13 17:53:38 · answer #3 · answered by asiansmile 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
C'mon Krissy, you 2 have been shacking up for 5 years now and you 2 haven't even got on the same page about where your future is ?????
There haven't been any consequences for 5 years, what incentive does he have to think about commitment now?
Do this:
1. Sit down with bf first and tell him CALMLY and without accusation or raising your voice that you are concerned about your relationship with him and need him to discuss it with you so you 2 can EITHER agree or disagree on a future, or move on.
2. Then go to your pastor, priest, or rabbi, with or without bf.
Until you 2 get together and realize you have to have shared goals to be a couple, nothing will change.
Good Luck
2007-03-13 17:53:40 · answer #4 · answered by snvffy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow...I think he might think he has it all right now and life is good so why get married. Marriage is just a piece of paper that legally ties you two together.
Hubby and I were together for almost 6 years before he asked me, we lived with each other as well. Every man is different and maybe yours is just a little slower to ask the question.
Has he been married before? He might be scared from the 1st one
2007-03-13 17:44:41 · answer #5 · answered by workit 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you're BOTH not feeling marriage, then you should NOT think about marriage. If you end out breaking up with this guy, you'll eventually meet someone that actually wants to marry you, and hopefully you'll feel the same way.
2007-03-13 17:42:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to talk about it and it's been 5 years then I'd say it's time to move on.
2007-03-13 17:43:08 · answer #7 · answered by m k 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nothing you can do! He is just not ready to be married for reasons all his own. I wouldn't put him in a corner, because things may get worst.
2007-03-13 17:44:43 · answer #8 · answered by the anomaly23 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
WHY PAY FOR THE COW WHEN YOU CAN GET THE MILK FOR FREE?
NOT CALLING YOU A COW.. BUT YOU GET THE ANALOGY
2007-03-13 17:43:04 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋